If You Don’t Smoke Then I Won’t Fart

Another week, another Villager story about someone who can’t sleep. Community Media LLC should just save us the trouble and start a separate publication dedicated to stories about Lower Manhattan residents who are angry at nearby bars — they’re all starting to blend together in my mind anyway:

For residents living above the nightclub 46 Grand, life has been anything but.

Kevin Solomon, a resident at 46 Grand St. in Soho, said he and his family are kept awake every Friday and Saturday until 3 a.m. by loud music from the club. The other week, it happened on Wednesday night, too.

“And I live on the fourth floor,” he said. “So you can imagine what it is like for the people living on the second and third floors.”

Family man? Check.

Loud music? Check.

Can’t sleep? Check.

Obligatory “If it’s loud for me, imagine what it’s like for the 85-year-old on floor two” quote? Check.

The question is what we call this new publication. The Village Complainer? The Downtown Bitcher? Let’s brainstorm here.