Oh Well Whatever Nevermind

So when Bloomberg takes the subway, it’s not really about reducing congestion, saving time or fighting pollution — in that respect, it’s sort of like how congestion pricing really isn’t about the environment either:

Mayor Bloomberg took the subway yesterday to a news conference about a new green-car initiative — but he also brought along his SUV.

After his small, fuel-guzzling motorcade arrived at the Museum of Natural History on West 79th Street to join a Hertz Corp. announcement about adding 3,400 hybrid cars to its fleet, the mayor insisted he and his aides had driven only a short distance.

“We drove here from [the] 86th Street [station],” Bloomberg said, pointing out that he wasn’t inside the SUV that took the trip from City Hall, but instead had hopped on the subway.

That raised the question: If the mayor rides the subway uptown but is met by an SUV driven from City Hall — with or without him in it — where’s the carbon-emission savings?

An aide later explained that the NYPD tails Bloomberg wherever he goes and has his specially equipped SUV at the ready in case of emergency. Also, Bloomberg’s SUV is equipped with “flex-fuel” tanks and runs on a mixture of ethanol and gasoline, the aide said.

The Judge Just Had A Vision Of A Great T-Shirt: “Free The Sapphic Septet”

Maybe in eleven years she’ll be scared straight:

The pint-sized ring leader of a gang of seven rampaging lesbians collapsed shrieking in a Manhattan courtroom yesterday as a judge sentenced her to 11 years in prison for the brutal beat-down and stabbing of a man who promised to turn them “straight” in Greenwich Village last summer.

“Noooo!” 4-foot-11, 95-pound Patreese Johnson wailed after learning her startling sentence — the highest several defense lawyers had ever heard of for a nonfatal stabbing.

“No!” she sobbed. “Please! Nooooo!”

Johnson, 20, fell to the courtroom floor and was carried out kicking and screaming.

She and her three co-de fendants, who were also sentenced yesterday, were convicted of second-degree gang assault during a sensational trial in April.

Renata Hill, 25, was sentenced to eight years in prison; Venice Brown, 19, got five; Terraine Dandridge, 20, got 31/2.

The gang’s remaining three women are serving six-month prison terms after pleading guilty to lesser charges in the attack on Queens filmmaker Dwayne Buckle, 29.

Johnson had been additionally convicted of first-degree gang assault for stabbing Buckle in the gut, and could have received anywhere from five to 25 years.

The women claimed they attacked Buckle in self-defense after he lunged at them during an argument in which he allegedly said sex with him would turn them straight.

Surveillance video belies that story, the prosecutor said in court.

It shows at a brief lull in the brawl — and then the seething, Sapphic septet striking anew.

Earlier: The Unluckiest Guy On The Face Of The Earth.

What’s In A Street Renaming?

It’s the most important thing a City Council can do, and Charles Barron respects the will of the people in that regard:

Defiant community leaders will gather Saturday in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn to unveil a new street sign bearing the name of Sonny Carson, a radical black activist who described himself as “anti-white.”

The renegade renaming comes nearly three weeks after the City Council voted down the proposal during a heated and racially charged hearing at City Hall. Council Member Charles Barron, a Democrat of Brooklyn, and his chief of staff, Viola Plummer, will attend the event.

. . .

Tomorrow’s renaming will be the second attempt by Carson supporters to honor his memory despite not receiving official approvals from the city. On Memorial Day, Mr. Barron and others unveiled a sign at Linden Park in Brooklyn with his name. The sign was taken down by the city Department of Parks and Recreation.

Mr. Barron is quick to point out that the local community board approved the proposal to rename four blocks of Gates Avenue before it was blocked in the council.

“No one is going to tell us who our heroes can and can’t be,” he said yesterday. “We are not going to let the white members of the City Council to tell us no.”

No, No Need To Explain — It Makes Perfect Sense Why Truckers Would Want To Pay A Congestion Fee

I don’t think it’s being paranoid to think that there’s something kind of — well, very — suspicious about the idea of Teamsters supporting congestion pricing:

Truckers decided to support the plan after Mayor Bloomberg announced that he will reduce the fees for truckers who drive fuel-efficient rigs. Trucks that meet federal guidelines will have their fee cut from $21 to $7. Teamster’s President for Joint Council 16, Gary LaBarbera, says they came to an agreement with the mayor because he understands they must stay on the roads.

This coming after reports that the State Assembly seems wildly uninterested in supporting the plan (after all, Silver is a weighty metal, and sometimes one that is difficult to mine):

Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver’s handpicked Democratic steering committee concluded yesterday that Mayor Bloomberg’s current congestion-pricing plan is “unpassable.”

At a meeting of the committee, which helps guide policy for Silver, the overwhelming majority said they could not support Bloomberg’s plan in its current form.

“There is a very strong growing consensus among rank-and-file members that the city hasn’t presented us with a passable bill, even if they like the concept — and many members don’t like the concept,” said Assemblyman Richard Brodsky (D-Westchester), a congestion-pricing foe.

Bloomberg wants to charge motorists to drive into Manhattan below 86th Street during certain hours and use the revenue to improve mass transit.

Committee members praised Bloomberg for wanting to reduce traffic and improve the environment, but said there are too many outstanding questions to act on the bill.

Members said there are ways to deal with traffic without enacting congestion pricing.

“Certainly in [the Assembly], people feel uncomfortable about charging hard-working middle-class families extra dollars to come into the city,” said Assemblyman Ruben Diaz Jr. (D-Bronx), who’s on the committee.

Added Assemblyman Steve Cymbrowitz (D-Brooklyn), who supports the concept of congestion pricing: “The bill as written is unpassable.”

Assemblywoman Roan Destito (D-Utica) said the bill “is not well thought out.”

It’s hard to believe that the only thing the Teamsters wanted was a reduction in the fee for more fuel-efficient trucks. I had no idea its membership was so committed to the environment! Plus, it’s not like the trucking industry doesn’t oppose congestion pricing or anything. I’m sure Bloomberg promised them absolutely nothing . . .

Sometimes A Quirky Job Is Just That

Stories that sound like they’re going to be a lot more interesting than they actually are include the dude who vacuums the stuffed animals at the Museum of Natural History:

The hydraulic lift lurched up, bringing the back of an African elephant into full view. To Mike Peter Smith, who was cleaning the elephant yesterday, its spine took the form of a gently sloping mountain range with peaks behind the head and near the rear legs.

The elephant remained motionless as Mr. Smith surveyed the dust that had collected on its broad back.

“It is basically just vacuuming the elephant like a carpet,” he said of his job. “But it’s really delicate at the same time.”

That stuffed elephant and seven others at the American Museum of Natural History were getting their annual cleaning, a ritual that is repeated at least once a year for every bird, dinosaur, mammal and fish that is not behind glass in the museum’s collection. Of the 30 million specimens belonging to the museum, about 300,000 are displayed at one time. Standing on his perch about eight feet off the floor, Mr. Smith started behind the left ear. With one hand, he whisked a soft round brush across the deeply grooved wrinkles, leaving no space untouched. Blue lint balled up and cascaded down, before disappearing into the humming vacuum, which he guided through the air with the other hand. “I have to be really careful,” he said. To avoid tearing the fragile hide, he pushed the dust toward the vacuum’s extension with the brush, rather than sliding the wand directly against the skin.

On the flat of the back, below the front left shoulder, there was so much dust that his strokes left the leathery hide visibly darker.

After meticulous brushing, it appeared as if Mr. Smith were painting the elephant with varnish.

“I wonder if they do not look too clean when I am done, too polished,” he said. “In a couple of weeks, when the dust settles, it will look more natural.”

Location Scout: Akeley Hall of African Mammals.