I Tell You, I Was ConEd Into Thinking Everything Would Be OK . . .

But really, how did you guys find so many quotes in just over half an hour?:

It lasted less than an hour, but a power failure that left big sections of the Upper East Side and the Bronx without electricity yesterday afternoon stirred fears that there may be more dark days ahead this summer for Con Edison and its customers.

The lights flickered and went out shortly before 4 p.m., halting service on several subway lines and reviving memories of the regionwide blackout of August 2003 and the power failure last year that left a large swath of Queens without current for more than a week. With hours of daylight left, some residents rushed out to stock up on candles, water and other emergency supplies.

. . .

At the Family Market on Lexington Avenue near 85th Street, the owners were breaking out an emergency supply of water jugs they kept in the basement. One of the owners, Cindy H. Woo, 48, said that she and her husband were worried that looters might come into the streets if the lights stayed out into the night.

She said that she was not looking forward to a summer that she said could include many more blackouts. “Of course, I was upset,” she said. “It’s not just one time. It’s many.”

A customer in the store, Kariyma Quashie, 21, said that she was unable to go to Brooklyn to pick up her 10-month-old daughter from day care because the trains were not running. She blamed Con Ed.

“They should have learned from the last time this happened,” she said. “They should have had a back-up or something. To be out for an hour!”

But Why Stop At $16? Charge Them $250 At The Tolls — And All Day Below 145th Street — And We’ll Be Able To Supply Everyone With Individual Jetpacks So That Anyone Can Zoom Anywhere Virtually Unimpeded!

OK, now you’re getting greedy:

With the threat of a fare hike looming, a free subway system might seem like a distant fantasy for New York City straphangers.

Some dreamers, however, are pushing to turn the concept into a reality that they say could stimulate the city’s economy and provide an incentive for more motorists to switch to mass transit.

Charging motorists $16 to drive into most of Manhattan at all times — double the amount Mayor Bloomberg has proposed in his congestion pricing plan — and levying $16 tolls on all bridge and tunnel crossings could bring in $3.1 billion annually to subsidize a free mass transit system, the early results of a $100,000 study by a nonprofit group, the Institute for Rational Mobility, show. The MTA currently takes in about $1.96 billion in fares from the subway and buses, the study says, and it could save an estimated $360 million a year that it spends collecting those fares.

“It’s a Platonic ideal,” the chief attorney for the Straphangers Campaign, Gene Russianoff, said.

We Sent You To Harvard So You Could Take A Job Doing What?

Then again, it is of course a front-row ticket to the best show on earth:

Cheryl Walter is a graduate of Harvard University and has a master’s degree in forensic psychology, but yesterday, as she addressed the city’s newest class of police officers as their valedictorian, she realized a lifelong dream: becoming a police officer.

“They always knew I was going to do law enforcement,” Officer Walter said of her parents. “They were just surprised I didn’t do the feds.”
With Officer Walter’s pedigree — she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Harvard and a master’s in forensic psychology from John Jay College of Criminal Justice — she could have joined any one of the country’s law enforcement agencies. But the 26-year-old valedictorian, who during her speech yesterday at the police academy graduation at Madison Square Garden referred to her classmates as her “family in blue,” picked the New York City Police Department.

“It’s bigger than any of the other agencies,” Officer Walter said. “There is more of a variety of things to do.”

Even with the advancement opportunities the police department offers, the number of police academy graduates this year, 1,097, is well below the goals the department set. City officials, including the police commissioner, Raymond Kelly, blame the low starting salary of just over $25,000 for the dearth of recruits.

“It’s certainly hard to live on the salary,” Officer Walter said, adding, “Things are a little tight.”

Would You Let Your Grandparent — Or Even Some Elderly Neighbor — On That Thing?

Oh my god, that first drop is a doozy:

Two octogenarian thrill-seekers rode the famed Coney Island roller coaster yesterday as part of its 80th birthday celebration.

“It’s the masterpiece of all wooden coasters. You can’t tell what it’s like by looking at it. You have to ride it,” said an elated Ed Murman, 81, of Smithtown, L.I.

Murman hadn’t been on the Cyclone since he was 13, before America entered World War II.

“On this coaster, you get some airtime. It feels like it’s throwing you out,” said Murman, who has braved the twists and turns of about 500 other coasters as a member of the American Coaster Enthusiasts team.

Louis Picariello, 81, of Bellingham, Mass., was so flustered by the Cyclone yesterday that he grappled for the words to describe how he felt.

“I don’t know what I am saying I am so excited,” he gushed before pumping his fists in the air, demanding another ride.

Murman and Picariello were both stationed in the South Pacific during World War II, but they didn’t meet until they joined the roller coaster enthusiasts group.

They each took several rides on the Cyclone yesterday, escorted by Miss Cyclone 2007, Angie Pontani.

Sy Weisberg, 80, of Brooklyn, was also scheduled to ride the coaster yesterday, but his doctor advised him against going on the 110-second ride, which has replicas all over the world.

Still, Weisberg didn’t miss the opportunity to go to Coney Island, where he flirted and danced with shapely stilt walkers as the Sugar Tone Brass Band played big band tunes. “I’m not throwing in the chips yet,” he said.

(Nothing against Miss Subways, but Angie Pontani is kind of sexier. That said, I still don’t think I’d feel comfortable with putting her next to my grandfather on the first car of the Cyclone.)

Location Scout: The Cyclone.

Conflating Gluttony With Competition Is More Than Anything Actually Probably Why They Hate Our Freedom

The only thing worse than professional competitive eaters (and try explaining that concept to people in somewhere like, oh, I don’t know, Sub-Saharan Africa) are the walk-ons:

Professional eaters Arturo Rios “Grande” Jr. and Allen “The Shredder” Goldstein scarfed more than two dozen soggy hot dogs apiece yesterday, earning them a spot in next week’s Coney Island showdown.

Rios, 30, of Long Branch, N.J., edged Goldstein, 43, of Plainview, N.Y., by eating 27.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes, a personal all-time best for the divorced father of three who nearly lost his free lunch at the end of the contest at the Manhattan Mall’s food court.

“It’s like any sport, when you try to go that extra mile, try to do that little extra bit, it takes a lot,” Rios said. “And it’s more than physical ability. It’s mental.”

Rios trailed Goldstein — who finished with 26 downed dogs — for most of the match. Both men, who were the only professional eaters in yesterday’s lineup, doused their dogs and buns in liquid (water for Goldstein, fruit punch for Rios) before ramming them down their throats. Watery bits of buns stuck on their faces, and by the final bell, Rios and Goldstein were hovering near a trash can.

“I got it all in and then I had to cough,” Rios said of the final seconds. “My daughter got me sick a few days ago.”

Rios claimed to hold the record for pig feet at 6.6 pounds in 10 minutes.

. . .

The contest had been billed as a chance for an “ordinary eater” or civil servant to join next week’s ultra-competitive field.

City correction officer Edward Ritchie, 30, finished third with 9.5 dogs. Other entrants included Dept. of Homeland Security employee John Sclafani, 34th Street vendor David Brokenbaugh and Loyola College student Donny Lind.