Where Do You Think You Are, Zimbabwe?

How one forges a bill that doesn’t even exist is the conundrum of the day:

A bartender at an Astoria tavern thought it was a joke when a man slapped a million-dollar bill on the bar and demanded a beer, according to police sources.

Construction worker Richard Dajti, 31, walked into an establishment on Ditmars Boulevard and 31st Street at about 4:30 a.m. on July 18, slapped the bill on the bar and demanded a brew. When the bartender refused to serve him, Dajti pulled up his shirt, allegedly revealing a gun, and again demanded a beer.

The owner called 911, but as the police arrived, Dajti was in his vehicle, leaving. The officers gave chase, following Dajti as he sped through five red lights at speeds of more than 70 mph. The chase came to an end when Dajti pulled his 2002 Chevy to the curb near the Northern Boulevard exit off the Grand Central Parkway, police said.

Dajti stepped out of the car and announced to police that he didn’t actually have a gun. He was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated, possession of a forged instrument, harassment and resisting arrest.

Police are trying to determine where Dajti obtained the fake million-dollar bill.

Police had yet to use the google machine, I suppose.

(Does the old 1,000,000 bill trick ever work?)

Privacy Concerns — Quaint Like A Checker Cab

In a time when security cameras and EZPass technology — not to mention whatever they’re planning with congestion pricing — are so ubiquitous arguing that GPS technology somehow invades your privacy seems like a stretch:

Taxi drivers on a collision course with the city over new tracking technology and credit card payment systems may play the strike card today.

The Taxi Alliance is widely expected to warn that medallion cabbies will walk off the job Sept. 1 if the Taxi and Limousine Commission holds to its plan to install the new gear in their hacks.

The 8,400-member Alliance has been moving toward a strike declaration for months.

“If the City Council and Mayor Bloomberg continue to stay silent as drivers’ privacy and economics are trampled on, we will strike,” Alliance Executive Director Bhairavi Desai said yesterday.

The TLC said the Global Positioning System tracking devices are meant to be used only to help cabbies get around the city, reunite passengers with lost belongings and perhaps catch criminals who prey on cabbies.

But drivers say the system will invade their privacy, create a new breed of backseat drivers who disagree with GPS directions and cost them money.

Striking over technological changes that actually encourage consumers to use their service more — nice bargaining tactic. Even the TWU didn’t have such a bad public relations position to begin from (it’s about health care for all Americans!) and look where they got.

There’s No “mike2010.com” . . . Does That Mean That He Won’t Run For Governor?

If Bush ramps up the terror threat level whenever a political disaster strikes, does Bloomberg similarly hype the presidential talk whenever he needs to stay relevant? Got a critical congestion pricing vote Thursday? Unveil mike2008.com today:

Mayor Bloomberg insists he’s not running for President, but he has put a provocatively named mike2008.com Web site on the Internet.

It links directly to Bloomberg’s recently relaunched personal Web site, mikebloomberg.com, where Hizzoner keeps the public posted on the causes he’s supported in business, philanthropy and government.

Bloomberg spokesman Robert Lawson said the mayor’s use of mike2008.com has no connection to speculation he may run for President next year.

“The Web administrators control a number of Bloomberg-specific [addresses] to prevent cyber-squatters and redirect users to mikebloomberg.com,” Lawson said.

Other Web addresses — such as mbloomberg.com, michaelbloomberg.com and mike2007.com — also link to the mayor’s site.

Lawson said the mayor decided to link all those addresses because he wanted to make sure anyone looking for information about him got to his site.

. . .

The mayor is scheduled to travel to St. Louis today to speak at the National Urban League, an organization that will hear from the leading Democratic presidential candidates on Friday.

Do You Really Need A State-Of-The-Art 103-Inch High-Definition Television To Keep Track Of 311 Call Statistics And Pixelated Traffic Camera Feeds?

Of course you do! Of course you do:

Picture this — Mayor Bloomberg, a guy who rarely watches TV, now has the world’s largest high-definition plasma television adorning his famous “bullpen” at City Hall.

The 103-inch monster, which retails for $70,000, was donated by Panasonic and was on display yesterday as the bullpen re-opened after a two-week, $627,000 makeover.

“A lot of people from the NBA would have these in their homes,” said a proud Panasonic executive after posing for pictures with the mayor. He said the company hopes to sell 5,000 around the globe this year.

In addition to the usual news channels, the TV will display 311 call statistics and a video feed from NYC TV’s live traffic cameras.

An Open Container Law For Spray Paint

The idea that this will somehow cut down on graffiti . . . lord . . . but at least it seems slightly more constitutional:

The tools of graffiti vandals — spray paint, broad tipped markers, and etching acid — are on the verge of being banned from the backpacks and pant pockets of anyone under the age of 21 unless carried in a locked container.

The new anti-graffiti rules, proposed by a City Council member of Queens, Peter Vallone Jr., are expected to be approved by the council on Wednesday.

Earlier: There’s That Pesky Constitution Again!