David Mamet Rolls In His Grave* Crying, “Oy, Where Are The Adults These Days?”

Broadway producers look for that lucrative tween market, which obviously has more cash than it knows what to do with:

For Broadway producers, 10-year-old Jamie Carroll looks like an ideal theatergoer: she downloads scores off of iTunes, is a fervent proselytizer when she likes something and has lots of friends, two of whom she brought along to a recent Saturday matinee of “Legally Blonde.” “A lot of my friends say it’s the best musical they’ve ever seen,” she said.

Maybe. But Jamie’s father and her 14-year-old brother would not join them, considering the show too girly. Even her mother, Tacey Carroll, was only present as a chaperon: “This is a little more for them,” she said, echoing several other mothers at the theater, one of whom even dropped off her young charges and went shopping.

And that’s the rub for Broadway producers, for whom teenage and tween girls have become the demographic of the moment, wooed by marketing campaigns and featured as central characters in a flurry of shows in development, including “13,” about a teenager from New York who is transplanted to Indiana; “Princesses,” which is basically “High School Musical” meets “Gossip Girl”; and a musical adaptation of the movie “Clueless.”

Increasingly, though, some worry that the sugar-and-spice enthusiasm may be misplaced, because while teenagers and tweens may be helpful in creating a hit, they are far from enough to ensure one. For that, you still need grown-ups — lots of paying grown-ups — to want to come to a show.

*Just kidding, Mr. Mamet! We can’t wait for that Duran Duran thing to end to see your next play staged!

And The Law & Order Residuals Morgenthau’s Office Gets From Dick Wolf Aren’t Even Factored In Those Numbers . . .

Staten Island is neglected in many ways, some more baffling than others:

District Attorney Daniel Donovan said yesterday that a 14 percent budget hike will put his staff’s salaries on par with their counterparts in the four other boroughs.

More important for Staten Islanders, the extra dough will help Donovan retain top-flight prosecutors and hire additional troops.

“We now have near parity across the board with our colleagues,” Donovan said yesterday. “This funding has given us greater ability to hire and retain staff, properly fund our investigations and, ultimately, to win more cases for the people of Staten Island.”

There are 48 prosecutors in his office, excluding himself, said Donovan. Total staff is about 108.

For years, Island prosecutors have labored in the shadow of their colleagues in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan and Queens — especially when it came to pay. In many instances, assistant district attorneys here earned $20,000 less than their counterparts, said Donovan.

Since his inauguration in January 2004, Donovan has fought the city for a bigger slice of the budget pie, picking up where his predecessor, William L. Murphy, left off.

Wasn’t Sixth Avenue Nice Back In The Day? And You Don’t Think People On The Upper East Side Would Rather Be Riding A Third Avenue El Than Wait 50 Years For A Subway?

Actually, I’d say it would pretty much replace a multi-billion dollar one-stop* enterprise . . . welcome to the future where trains zip effortlessly above the crowded macadam:

One of the bids to develop the West Side rail yards will propose an elevated “people mover” to get residents and office workers in the new development to and from Penn Station, The Post has learned.

Engineers for the Durst Organization are developing plans for the automated light rail line that would connect the now isolated rail yards to the city’s largest transit hub.

“It would create a direct link with Penn Station and it would complement the 7 train,” Durst spokesman Jordan Barowitz said of the people mover and its ability to link to a planned extension of the No. 7 subway line to 11th Avenue and 34th Street.

Barowitz said the cost of a people mover has yet to be calculated. It would be operated by the developer and not the MTA.

The fully automated people mover would be able to carry 20,000 passengers per hour. It would take one minute to travel from Penn Station to 11th Avenue and 33rd Street.

7 train extension — done! Now, what can $2.1 billion buy?

*”One-stop” is good if you’re, like, Staples, not a public transportation link.

So Will It Actually Make Us Safer Or Is It Just A Way For You To Tweak The PBA?

It’s just ridiculous — naive and ridiculous! — that you don’t want to reduce the police department payroll because you’re afraid of a few stupid cameras:

Saying that “we live in a dangerous world” and people “want to have security cameras,” Mayor Bloomberg is making the case that New Yorkers need to get used to being watched.

“I do think that in this day and age, if you think that cameras aren’t watching you, you are very naïve,” he said during an appearance at London’s riverfront City Hall with the city’s mayor, Ken Livingstone.

Mr. Bloomberg went on to say that “we are under surveillance all the time,” and noted that the first thing the police department does when trying to solve a crime is collect surveillance footage from nearby stores and buildings.

. . .

“It’s just ridiculous,” Mr. Bloomberg said as a London officer pulled up an image of the mayor’s car from when it pulled into the neighborhood less than an hour earlier. “People who object to using technology — we have to pay either police officers or technology, and using a combination really lets you be much more efficient.”

After all, Hizzoner is good at obfuscating the real reasons behind all this supercool technology (maybe it’s the same with GPS in taxis?).

Jose Reyes’ Amazin’ Work Ethic Is Rubbing Off On Disappointed Citi Field Ironworkers

After a collapse so complete, so devastating, it’s understandable that you might start to question everything:

It wasn’t easy being a Mets fan yesterday, but it could not have been much harder on the fans than on those in hard hats building their laughingstock of a team a brand-spanking-new stadium in Flushing, Queens. In a city where the work can be hard and thankless, the combination of both was tough to beat here, backbreaking and heartbreaking all at once.

To hear Denis O’Neil, 36, an electrician, describe the mood at the construction site, one would think there had been a fatal on-the-job accident. “It’s just a somber day, you know?” he said. “There’s not really anything I could have done.”

But his feeling of helplessness quickly turned to anger. “What do you need a new stadium for?” he said, ignoring the fact that he was calling into question his own livelihood. “You can’t even win at the old stadium. What do you need a new one for?”

Location Scout: Citi Field.