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Brooklyn As Agricultural Hall Exhibit At The State Fair

The Portland State Fair:

“It’s pretty obvious that what everyone is doing is better than what exists,” said [a condiment purveyor], whose company dubs itself the “leaders of condimovement.” “People are tired of what’s out there. The system is corrupt and the ingredients that are being used in condiments make them kind of like vegetable junk food — there’s a much more pure way to do it.”

. . .

It might sound Spartan, but the $6 [“horseradish sandwich” at a new Prospect Heights restaurant] — which features just horseradish, sourdough bread, butter and onion — is perfect as is, according to its maker.

“The sandwich needs not a single more thing — no one has really asked for anything else added to it,” said [the restaurant’s chef and co-owner]. “I very much enjoy creating something for nothing.”

(The eatery will serve topped with bacon for an additional $2).

. . .

“People intuit condiments as the basis of choice in food and control over their diets,” [a food historian] said. “People have a yearning to control their food destiny.”

Posted: March 15th, 2012 | Filed under: Brooklyn, Crap Your Pants Say Yeah!, Feed

As Long As It’s In Brooklyn, There Is Hardly Anything Marty Markowitz Won’t Support

If only Borough Presidents were about shaking up the system . . . but then there’d be no Borough Presidents:

A shadowy group calling itself Occupy Brooklyn is set to rally in Grand Army Plaza on Saturday — the first big protest in Brooklyn — and unlike many mainstream Democrats and Mayor Bloomberg, Borough President Markowitz is offering some support.

“It was only a matter of time before the . . . rallies made their way to Brooklyn,” Markowitz told us. “There is no doubt that Americans — those in the ‘99 percent’ — are hurting, and we can all agree that some of the issues being raised by these protests . . . are concerns we can all rally around.”

Posted: October 12th, 2011 | Filed under: Brooklyn, Crap Your Pants Say Yeah!, Grandstanding

You Might Not Keep Them Around Once They Have Children And Realize How Shitty The Schools Are Around Bushwick, But They’ll Always Remember That Foolish Summer When They Tried To Grow A Mustache

The city’s quasi-public/quasi-private tourism arm is marketing T-shirts to a demographic roughly defined as “the actors who you see spray painting in that new Converse ad”:

Earlier this month, the city’s tourism arm, NYC & Company, reintroduced its staid online store with a line of T-shirts printed with neon colors and bubblegum fonts and advertised on models wearing mustaches posing before brick walls.

. . .

In a departure for municipal merchandise, five of the shirts name-check the individual boroughs. A sixth shows the familiar Bloomberg-era boxy “NYC” logo dissolving into transgressive spray-paint drips, above dripping maps of the boroughs.

. . .

The decision to devote shirts to specific boroughs, [NYC & Company’s creative director] said, followed a trend and fit the city’s mission to promote tourism beyond Manhattan. [The creative director of the company that designed the T-shirts] said young people make up a significant population of the outer boroughs. “You go to Sunnyside or Astoria in Queens, and there’s people in their 20s now sort of mixed together with everyone,” she said.

Posted: August 20th, 2011 | Filed under: Crap Your Pants Say Yeah!

Things Just Keep Getting Better!

New Yorkers finally get back to doing what they do best — recasting tragic events as rock musicals:

There have been songs about Sept. 11, 2001, and there have been movies, and so it has always just a matter of time — 8 years and 51 weeks, it turns out — before New York learned whether it is ready for September 11: The Rock Musical.

Posted: September 1st, 2010 | Filed under: Crap Your Pants Say Yeah!

Today Mars, Tomorrow The World

You can’t stop the Naked Cowboy, you can only hope to repay him:

“Your use of Naked Cowgirl is essentially identical to the Naked Cowboy and is clearly in violation” of Burck’s trademark, read the letter.

Burck is demanding that Kane — who began appearing in Times Square in a red, white and blue cowboy hat and matching bikini several years ago — either stop making money off of his trademark or sign a “Naked Cowboy Franchise Agreement.”

Posted: June 22nd, 2010 | Filed under: Crap Your Pants Say Yeah!, Everyone Is To Blame Here
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