The Can-Do Spiritualism Of Capitalism

No, this doesn’t sound desperate at all. Not in the slightest. I’m not worried about the economy like at all. No sir [whistling past graveyard]:

When hypnotist Selena Valentine snaps her fingers, the economy will still be in the toilet, but that hasn’t stopped dozens of New Yorkers from paying her hundreds of dollars for a trance to strike it rich.

. . .

After playing Frank Sinatra’s “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” on her iPod, Valentine told the professionals who paid the $20 admission to relax their way to riches.

“Go on a journey to your inner self, your inner being,” the busty Valentine said, circling the room in her Louboutin pumps.

“Just allow your inner you to relax. Allow your whole body to relax.”

Financial adviser Amal Gawle, 30, said the meeting interested him because he’s trying to start off the new year with a professional edge.

“My job is performance related, and 2008 was a terrible year in the financial markets,” he said. “I’m trying to stay ahead of the game in 2009 so that I can outperform those around me.”

To better look the part of a millionaire, Gawle said he was wearing his “Donald Trump” suit. Hypnosis was not an act of desperation, he insisted.

“I don’t think you can call anything a last-ditch effort, or else you go on to feeling like that’s it and there’s nothing else left,” he said.