Did Studs Terkel Group “Waitress” And “Prostitute” Together In Working? If Not, Maybe He Should Have . . .

You might expect that your servers are chosen for their hospitality skills and not necessarily their beauty, though in a tough economy, that is not always the case:

In New York, we have our own economic indicators, often based on the degree to which people are being thwarted by the lack of opportunity. An old standby is the Overeducated Cabbie Index. The Squeegee Man Apparition Index is another good one. There’s also the Speed at Which Contractors Return Calls Index: within 24 hours, you’re in a recession; if they call you without prompting, that’s a depression.

The indicator I prefer is the Hot Waitress Index: The hotter the waitresses, the weaker the economy. In flush times, there is a robust market for hotness. Selling everything from condos to premium vodka is enhanced by proximity to pretty young people (of both sexes) who get paid for providing this service. That leaves more-punishing work, like waiting tables, to those with less striking genetic gifts. But not anymore.

A waitress at one Lower East Side club described to me what happened there: “They slowly let the boys go, then the less attractive girls, and then these hot girls appeared out of nowhere. All in the hope of bringing in more business. The managers even admitted it. These hot girls that once thrived on the generosity of their friends in the scene for hookups — hosting events, marketing brands, modeling — are now hunting for work.” A Soho restaurateur I know recently received applications from “a couple of classic Eastern European fembots. Once upon a time, these ladies must’ve made $1,500 a night lap dancing. At my place, they’re not going to make that in a week.”

Leading Economic Indicators: Richard Meier’s Tennis Game

What’s a leading starchitect to do when business lags? Work on his backhand:

Meier, who once dreamed of going pro, admitted the economy had inadvertently forced him to work on his game.

Tap Those Tracks, Then Tax Them

The $170 million High Line project is a great way to raise property values, so it makes sense to find new ways to pay for all those thin wooden planks that will surely have to be replaced sooner rather than later:

Facing crowds that are much larger than expected and with the recession putting a crimp in fund-raising, the High Line’s founders are proposing a business improvement district that would tax nearby property owners.

“We want to make sure we can keep maintaining the High Line to this level that has worked so well,” said Friends of the High Line co-founder Robert Hammond. “We’ve been talking about it for a while, but now it’s becoming more of a necessity.”

Hammond said that weekend crowds have averaged 20,000 visitors a day, while weekdays typically draw between 6,000 and 10,000 visitors — about four times as many as predicted before the park’s opening on June 9.

With the added crowds have come higher maintenance costs, Hammond said.

. . .

A business improvement district would raise about $1 million a year, leaving Friends of the High Line to come up with the balance from donations and fund-raisers.

The annual fee for the owner of a 1,000-square-foot apartment would range from $30 to $90, depending on where they live.

“When we were planning the park, we didn’t know we’d be in the middle of a recession when it opened,” Hammond said, adding that the group has raised enough money to be able to keep up with the costs for the next year.

Do you ever wonder why the city took such an interest in a 15-foot-wide $170 million project? I do, too.

Location Scout: High Line.

Leading Economic Indicators: Younger Interns

In this tough economy, a young person is forced to explore internship opportunities as early as he possibly can:

A subway rider says he got the shock of his life when he peered into the cab and saw a kid behind the controls alongside the driver.

“I saw him driving. He couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9,” said Jules Cattie, 41. “That has to be the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Cattie, a lawyer who lives on the East Side, said he spotted the child after he got into the front car of a Lexington Ave. express train Sunday.

“I was just in shock,” he said. “I thought, ‘This is really dangerous.'”

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority yesterday said it has launched “a vigorous and thorough investigation” into the charge.

Everyone Has A Narsty Subway Story

And if the MTA has its way, there will be fewer outrageous subway stories to share with friends and family:

To dramatize the effects of budget cuts on subway cleanliness, the head of New York City Transit on Monday described a recent incident in which someone used an entrance to the Rector Street station in Lower Manhattan as a public bathroom.

“We are in a situation where, between 4:30 a.m. and noon, we are not staffed to deal” with that, the president of New York City Transit, Howard H. Roberts Jr., said at a meeting with the board of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. (Mr. Roberts’s exact choice of words, which included a relatively graphic description of the events, elicited grimaces from many of the spectators.)

The Daily News confirms it was “human feces,” obviously the best kind of feces.