Two Things That Don’t Really Go Together . . .

. . . might include “Al Sharpton” and “bicycle,” but then there you have it, Al Sharpton at Critical Mass, moving from that sad Sean Bell thing to the most important civil rights issue of our era — ticketing cyclists:

For a little while, it seemed like a Critical Mass from the “old” days. Cyclists filled the south end of Union Square for the first time in more than a year, gathering on the last weekday of Bike Month for a pre-ride rally while police stood by on the sidelines.

The rally, organized by Freewheels, the bicycle defense fund, featured a special guest: Reverend Al Sharpton and members of Sean Bell’s family joined riders to speak out against the mass ticketing of cyclists and the fatal police shooting of Bell.

Sharpton began by telling the hundreds of listeners that, whether in Union Square or Harlem, the police should be there to serve the people, not the other way around.

“The same privatization that they’re doing in the north end of this park is the same gentrified privatization they’re doing in Harlem,” Sharpton declared.

“If we can come together as Critical Mass, if we can ride together, if we can protest together, we can make this city livable for everybody together,” he stated

As he spoke, Sharpton was flanked by Bell’s fiancée, Nicole Paultre Bell, Bell’s father and other friends and family of Bell. All were wearing white T-shirts with “SEAN BELL” emblazoned on them. Also wearing that shirt and addressing the crowd was Yetta Kurland, a civil rights attorney who is a candidate for Christine Quinn’s City Council seat.

“We are going to work together to have a Critical Mass in this city where we can ride in justice,” Sharpton said.

The plan was to have Sharpton speak and then join the bicycle ride in a pedicab provided by Time’s Up!, the West Village environmental advocacy group. However, minutes before Sharpton began talking, while attorney Wylie Stecklow was still addressing the rally, a yell of “Critical Mass, Yeah!” rose from the back of the crowd, followed by the traditional tinkling of bike bells. A majority of cyclists then poured onto 14th St., heading west.

When Sharpton did start speaking several minutes later, there was still a sizeable crowd of bystanders and cyclists listening.

“There’s something wicked when we think it’s more important to deal with getting on line to watch ‘Sex and the City’ than to stand up for justice in the city,” he said to cheers.

“We are all Sean Bell, we are all Critical Mass,” Sharpton concluded.

Bell’s father, William Bell, took a briefer, more conciliatory tone.

“Justice is nice,” he said, “but I just want to see Reverend Al ride a bike.”

Sharpton and the family then stood at the edge of the square and looked around for a minute until someone walked up and offered him a bike. Without hesitation, Sharpton climbed onto a Fuji Crosstown 3.0, a 21-gear hybrid considered well suited for bike commuting. After straddling the aluminum-frame bicycle for a minute, Sharpton took a few tentative pedals, then got his balance and started riding west on 14th St., surrounded by a dozen other cyclists. Doing a short route, the entourage rode to Fifth Ave., down to 12th St., east to University Place and back to Union Square.

. . .

One incontrovertible fact is that everyone in New York has a cell phone camera, as was demonstrated by virtually every person recognizing Sharpton asking him to pose for a picture. Sharpton obliged all requests. After several minutes, Sharpton and the Bell family climbed into two cars and left.

At The Risk Of Spoiling My New Year’s Resolution To Be Less Sarcastic . . .

. . . New York’s milk price gouging law has been a huge success*:

A whopping 86 percent of supermarkets, delis and bodegas throughout the five boroughs are charging above the state-mandated price ceiling for milk, according to a City Council survey released yesterday.

The survey found that 43 out of 50 stores checked last November were charging an average of 40 cents above the state limit, which is set each month by the Department of Agriculture and Markets.

“It is no secret and it has been widely reported that the price of food has been consistently increasing in New York and across the country,” said council Speaker Christine Quinn (D-Manhattan).

“While food prices are rising, it’s incredibly important that we make sure important staples, critical things to families like milk, are as affordable as possible.”

Current metropolitan-area limits for June are set at $3.93 per gallon, $2.01 per half-gallon and $1.04 per quart, with lower prices upstate.

Shoppers cutting every corner to make ends meet — many of whom did not know there were legal price limits — were appalled to learn they were getting gouged.

“I have two children. We buy a lot of milk. If it’s overpriced, it’s unfair for mothers and their children,” said Gloria Williams, 36, who was shopping in Murray Hill.

. . .

The complex state law does allow stores to make a case for above-the-limit prices before they are considered in violation.

Most of the major supermarket chains have done so, but many smaller shops do not.

In fact, a manager at one small store — the Food Market at Second Avenue and 41st Street, where a half-gallon was selling for $3.29 — was clearly unaware of the regulation, saying, “This is a free country. I’m allowed to charge whatever I want.”

*So was ditching the resolution worth it? Probably not.

Ugh . . . Please Don’t Give Them Something Else To Be Snooty About

The city of hot air actually has a fairly small carbon footprint, making Christmas back home that much more unbearable for the families of smug, self-righteous transplants:

Despite New York’s reputation as a city of avid consumption, the carbon footprint of its residents is among the smallest in America, a new report shows.

In 2005, the average New Yorker emitted 0.67 tons of carbon from residential energy consumption, the 18th-lowest amount of 100 metro areas surveyed, according to yesterday’s Brookings Institution and Regional Plan Association report, which examined carbon emissions from transportation and residential sources. The average American emitted 1.16 tons.

The New York area also had the fourth-lowest carbon emissions per capita among the 100 other metropolitan areas.

Attorney General Cuomo Does The Heavy Lifting . . .

. . . and gets to the bottom of that gruesome Bodies exhibition, which, even though he liked and all, just felt funny in the end:

The company behind “Bodies . . . The Exhibition” has agreed to document the origin of the cadavers in its show at the South Street Seaport and give past patrons a full ticket refund, Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said yesterday.

“People have a right to know what they’re viewing,” Cuomo said at a news conference.

“The grim reality is that [show producer] Premier Exhibitions has profited from displaying the remains of individuals who may have been tortured and executed in China.”

There have long been rumors that the bodies are those of political prisoners.

Under the agreement, customers who can establish they would not have attended the exhibition had they known of the questions about the origins of the bodies are eligible for refunds.

Tell-Alls About Me, Should I Ever Be So Lucky, Will Be Pointlessly Perfect And Reflect Wonderfully On Any Administration I May Head

Perhaps when more than the ten people who read the Metro section start caring about him then he can feel smart about hiring loyal people, but until then, I don’t think there’s much of a market for a gripping tell-all about the Mayor of New York:

Mayor Bloomberg has no use for aides who write tell-alls like the one former White House press secretary Scott McClellan published.

“I just hopefully hire people who are a little more responsible, that’s the first thing I worry about,” Bloomberg said yesterday. “I’ve always thought that when you work for somebody, you have an obligation to not write a tell-all book afterwards.”