311 Finally Begins To Pay For Itself

Putting the eye on the street to good use:

When a city paving contractor caused minor damage this spring to the sidewalk in front of his Great Kills home, [a Staten Island man] and his wife [ . . .], dialed 311 to start the repair process.

What they got was a visit from an inspector — and then a summons and an order to fix it.

To their disbelief, a similar story played out among their East Brandis Avenue neighbors, all of whom say the situation stinks like hot asphalt. “They rammed it with the machine and all of this buckled up,” [the wife] said, pointing to a slightly raised concrete slab in front of her driveway. “The point is that what they’re saying we have to now fix is exactly what they did.”

Now If The TLC Just Allowed Livery Drivers To Pick Up People On The Street . . .

. . . then many more cars would have refused to stop as well:

A 20-year-old Harlem man was shot inside a housing project this morning and then stumbled bleeding out onto the street and ran two blocks trying to hail a taxi to the hospital — but cabbies refused to take him, a witness said.

No Problem — We’ll Just Catch A Showing Of Sixteen Candles Or Karate Kid Somewhere Else

Mickey Rooney’s buck-toothed Asian character Breakfast at Tiffany’s is one of the most embarrassing things about the 1960s. Good riddance. Or not:

” ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ is a beloved movie, with one irredeemable, superfluous scene from an era in Hollywood when more overt racism was acceptable in movies than it is today,” a [Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy] spokeswoman wrote.

Nancy Webster, executive director of the conservancy, said that she hopes to address people’s concerns, but hasn’t decided how just yet.

“We appreciate hearing people’s views about our programming, whether they are critical or supportive,” she said. “We trust our audience to use their own judgment about what is appropriate for their families.”

Or they could scrap it and screen a bunch of old Jerry Lewis shows . . .

Passenger Inconvenienced By Sudden Stop, Punches City Bus Driver . . .

. . . and says: “You should have f- -king killed the dog.”

We’ll Keep Those Fond Memories Of Miss Brooklyn In A Special Place Close To Our Hearts . . . Right Alongside The Scars From The Eminent Domain Abuse And The Heartburn That Followed Once You Finally Realized That Your Children Actually Might Grow Up Rooting For The Nets

In an SEC filing, Atlantic Yards developers admit that the big project that will reshape downtown Brooklyn may never pan out, meaning that all the project would amount to would be one lousy arena — no low-income housing, no Miss Brooklyn tower and little economic benefit, because sports arenas don’t easily recoup a $300 million public investment:

Documents filed last week with the Securities and Exchange Commission by developer Bruce Ratner and his Forest City Enterprises warn that the non-arena portions of the plan could experience “further delays” leading to most or all of the rest of the 22-acre, $4.9 million project being scrapped.

Location Scout: Atlantic Yards.