A Cautionary Tail*

After repeated denials to the contrary (“The hallway smells because the basement floods and people pee in the doorway and the elevator” — but you know what they say about the denial-supply chain), the courts are forcing a Queens couple to relinquish a roomful of cats that is stenching up the place:

Assemblymember Nettie Mayersohn, state Senator Toby Stavisky, City Councilmember James Gennaro and Congressmember Anthony Weiner are engaged in an all-out effort to combat serious problems existing at 70-20 Parsons Blvd. in Pomonok Houses. At one time, it was reported that Rose and Thomasina Maggio, the residents of Apartment 1A, housed as many as 20 cats.

The elected officials were made aware of the noxious odors that emanated from this apartment when the post office refused to deliver mail to the building.

. . .

The New York City Housing Authority has since sent workers to the apartment to have it professionally cleaned. Reportedly, the Maggios denied them access to one of the rooms where it is believed that the cats are housed. Deodorizers have also been installed in various areas of the building. In addition, the post office and the Housing Authority have come to an agreement on installing a temporary cluster box outside the building for mail delivery until the odor issues are completely resolved.

On September 12, a hearing, which again was attended by the elected officials, was held in Queens Supreme Court. At that time the court ordered that a temporary guardian be appointed to monitor and remove any cats in the apartment.

Just for fun, visualize Springfield Mayor Joe Quimby as you read the following:

“My fellow elected officials and I will not rest until this intolerable situation is resolved to the complete satisfaction of the good families of 70-20 Parsons Boulevard.” Gennaro said. “We will prevail.”

“Today’s decision will improve the quality of life for residents of Pomonok Houses and eliminate a serious health risk,” said Weiner. “The cats are finally gone.”

*Sorry for the pun, but this is a serious issue — and some of our best friends are cat owners . . .

Doesn’t This Mean You’re Basically Living On Top Of Fresh Kills?

The giant oil spill circulating underneath Greenpoint is leaking methane gas:

High levels of explosive methane vapors in shallow soil near the massive Greenpoint oil spill have forced alarmed state officials to do emergency gas testing in nearby homes, the Daily News has learned.

The state Department of Environmental Conservation is pushing local residents to sign up to have their homes checked for the potentially combustible vapors.

“They should have come years ago,” said disgusted homeowner Dorothy Swick, who lives on Hausman St. “Nobody ever told me how dangerous it was.”

The gases are believed to be bubbling up from a 17 million gallon underground oil spill discovered in 1978.

. . .

The elevated gas levels, released last week, were found in tests done by ExxonMobil contractor Roux Associates under orders from the DEC.

It was the first time the state or the oil giant have acknowledged gas from the Newtown Creek oil spill could be hazardous to residents.

The testing also found elevated readings of benzene, which can cause cancer.

The potentially lethal vapors were found in a commercial and industrial area — but there are some homes across the street from at least one testing site.

The vapors were found in soil samples along Bridgewater St., at the intersections of Apollo St., Norman Ave., and at Nassau Ave. and Hausman St.

And not to sound like too much of a wuss, but it makes the idea of kayaking and — ew! — crabbing in Newtown Creek seem a little premature . . .

See also: Better Late Than Never.

Authorities Declare “War” On Bedbugs

From cutesy literary allusion to full-scale war in just one day:

An explosion of bedbugs, the apple seed-size insects that hide in mattresses and furniture during the day and feast on unsuspecting sleepers at night, have terrorized visitors, outraged residents and are now stirring political action.

“It was horrible. I never wanted to go to sleep,” said Caitlin Heller, 27, a Queens College student whose Jackson Heights apartment was overrun by the bloodthirsty bugs. “They were painful, itchy, and all I thought about.”

“Even now, after they’ve been exterminated, I think I feel phantom bugs,” said Heller, who has started a blog about the topic. “Even a piece of lint scares me.”

. . .

City Councilwoman Gale Brewer (D-Manhattan) supported a measure this week to ban the sale of used mattresses — perhaps the No.1 carrier of bedbugs. But at a hearing Monday, a city official testified against the bill, saying the ban might do little to control infestations and would adversely impact poor people.

Brewer said that even if the bill fails, the sale of secondhand mattresses should be regulated.

“We need to educate residents and city officials about this growing problem,” said Brewer. “Right now, the city’s doing nothing, and we need to declare war.”

Go ahead, freak yourself out: Beasts Feast On Blood While Authorities Dither; NYPD Bedbug; Don’t Let The . . .; It’s Endemic, Pandemic, This Epidemic; Bedbugs Don’t Wait For Midterms Now, Do They?; Don’t Let The Gasoline-Soaked Bedbugs Burst Into Flames In The Middle Of The Night, Setting Your Living Quarters On Fire.

Beasts Feast On Blood While Authorities Dither

“Feasting on human blood,” “confounding officials” — it’s almost out of Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita. A city under siege by a host of unwanted mischief makers:

New York City is experiencing a dramatic resurgence in bedbugs — those pesky oval insects that hide in the crevices of furniture and feast on human blood at night — and officials are confounded about how best to respond.

. . .

At a City Council hearing yesterday on the issue, entomologists and exterminators said that bedbugs have been proliferating at levels not seen in decades. The cause of the resurgence is not certain, but experts have speculated that increased international travel, a recent ban on powerful pesticides and the market in used furniture have been factors.

A bill by Councilwoman Gale A. Brewer of Manhattan would ban the sale of reconditioned mattresses — old mattresses with a new fabric cover sewn onto them, often with the original upholstery and padding underneath — and create a task force to study the issue and make recommendations within a year.

Within a year . . . by then it will be too late — bwahahaha!

See also: NYPD Bedbug; Don’t Let The . . .; It’s Endemic, Pandemic, This Epidemic; Bedbugs Don’t Wait For Midterms Now, Do They?; Don’t Let The Gasoline-Soaked Bedbugs Burst Into Flames In The Middle Of The Night, Setting Your Living Quarters On Fire.

He Shrugs, “Eh, Coli”

Things to do today include make a mental note to never, never, ever eat at Cafe Amore’s in Union Square:

Some city eateries and grocery stores threw caution to the wind yesterday, serving up spinach soups, spinach pizzas and even bunches of fresh spinach despite a much-publicized — and deadly — E. coli outbreak.

A cook at Cafe Amore’s in Union Square seemed unconcerned about selling slices of spinach-and-ricotta pizza to customers, and a nearby Food Emporium had bunches of loose spinach lining the produce aisle.