In Vigilante Delicto

I thought stuff like this only happened in Philly:

A convicted child molester was found naked and bleeding behind a Brooklyn building — a victim of sexual self-mutilation, police sources said.

“How he did it? Limber, I guess. Not the work of a sane mind,” a police source said.

Sources said that Damiene Iriarte, 26, was found in Fort Greene with the tip of his penis bitten off. He was taken to Brooklyn Hospital Center.

Iriarte was arrested in Suffolk County in 2003 and charged with raping a 13-year-old girl, according to court records.

Less Confident Than Crazy*

Mayor Bloomberg wants $45 million to retrain employees who are probably the least likely to trust government job training programs:

Just as Michigan is scrambling to retrain laid-off auto workers, New York City officials have come up with a plan to find new work for the unemployed from one of its core industries: financial services.

Under a program unveiled on Wednesday by Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, the city wants to invest $45 million in government money to retrain investment bankers, traders and others who have lost jobs on Wall Street, as well as provide seed capital and office space for new businesses those laid-off bankers might create.

The plan is intended to stem a potential exodus of banking professionals from the city during the restructuring of the financial services industry, which has been the city’s economic engine for decades, and to speed the industry’s recovery, which will take at least several years, officials said.

. . .

The mayor announced the 11-part program at a building at 160 Varick Street that will house an incubator for start-up companies that might employ laid-off professionals. Trinity Real Estate donated the space for three years and the Polytechnic Institute of New York University will select the entrepreneurs who will occupy the space, beginning in April. A second business incubator is scheduled to open in Lower Manhattan later in the year, said Seth W. Pinsky, the president of the city’s Economic Development Corporation.

The agency plans to put $3 million into funds to make small investments in start-up companies, Mr. Pinsky said. He said that he hoped to attract twice as much money from private investors and that $9 million would be enough to help start hundreds of new businesses.

All told, city officials plan to spend about $15 million on the program, in addition to the $30 million of federal money. They estimate that over 10 years, it could stimulate the creation of at least 25,000 jobs and contribute $750 million to the local economy, but Mr. Bloomberg referred to those projections as a “guess.”

*And think of how many housing project roofs or elevators that could be fixed with $45 million . . .

Park Views And The Periodic Dull Thud Of Migrating Birds

Richard Meier’s new glass-facade building next to Brooklyn’s Prospect Park is killing birds midflight:

“An all-glass building adjacent to the park is a deathtrap for birds,” said Glenn Phillips, executive director of NYC Audubon.

“The design is a set-up. It’s putting huge, uninterrupted, solid panes of glass adjacent to a landscape, and that’s a recipe for disaster.”

Not Even For Double Parking?

The delivery van driver who left his vehicle in gear while double parked on East Broadway has not been charged in an accident that killed two small children:

Chao Fu, 52, was driving the van for the China Chalet restaurant and catering service and double-parked the vehicle on the east side of E. Broadway near Catherine St., police said.

Fu thought the van was in park when he stepped out to make a delivery, he told cops, but it was actually in reverse and began to creep backwards on the busy street lined with shops and restaurants, police said.

The children, gathered on the sidewalk with two chaperones outside the Chatham Square branch of the New York Public Library, were about to walk back to the nearby Red Apple Day Care on Market St.

They were lined up against the wall, their arms linked, when the 9,400-pound van hit them, surveillance video shows.

Fu, who had a clean driving record and valid license, was not charged, police said.

Not Only Do They Poop Everywhere . . .

. . . but they bring down large aircraft as well:

Boats are converging on a USAirways plane that is mostly submerged in the Hudson River off the West 50’s of Manhattan.

According to Channel 4 television news, the plane, USAirways flight 1549, took off from LaGuardia Airport at 3:26 p.m. was bound for Charlotte, N.C. and had 146 passengers and 5 crew members. The plane, according to the news report, may have hit a flock of birds. The pilot tried to return to the airport when the plane fell into the Hudson.

Television reports show several boats around where the plane, an Airbus A320, was in the water. New York Police Department divers dove into the water to assist with the rescue as plane floated southbound on the river, possibly due to the tidal direction.

Seriously — this is a recurring problem . . . let’s shoot them.