Grandiose and Totally Meaningless

The Village Voice tries to digest the Queens Olympic Stadium hail mary effort:

. . . [I]t’s been quite a week for turnabouts in general. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who just last week was insisting that a Queens stadium was unworkable because there was no way to pay for it, now enthuses that it would be “one of the most wonderful things, I think, that would ever happen to Queens.” Mets owner Fred Wilpon, who had insisted on going halfsies with the public on any new stadium, now says he’ll pay construction costs out of his own pocket. . . .

How much of this is real, and how much is political posturing to convince the International Olympic Committee not to laugh off New York’s bid for the 2012 Summer Games when it meets in Singapore next month? Probably a fair bit of each.

But isn’t there a third, more devious reason? Namely, if New York’s chances for snagging the Olympics are slim to none, it’s the perfect opportunity to make empty gestures all around. It’s the equivalent of garbage time in the waning minutes of a blowout — let the scrubs get some playing time!

Knowing that the city’s bid amounts to nothing offers the Mayor the chance to dazzle Queens residents with grandiose plans to turn Willets Point into a destination. Knowing there’s no chance the Olympics will happen allows Fred Wilpon to make generous — and meaningless! — gestures to pay all the costs for a stadium. Smart, that.

Who Knew About That Boy’s Sliky Pipes?

Who knew, as in Who knew Gifford Miller’s secret strategy to wrest control of the Mayor’s office hinged on his singing ability? The Times explains:

As backstage dressing rooms go, the rear seat of a sport utility vehicle is not exactly diva-grade. The lighting is bad, and the catering table nonexistent. But it was the only place available last month for Gifford Miller, the City Council speaker, as he prepared to face what would be, for most politicians, an almost insurmountable test of political courage.

In a few minutes, he would take to a lectern at the Eileen Dugan Senior Center, and he would sing.

“My wife doesn’t let me do it at home,” explained the speaker and mayoral candidate, as his vehicle crossed the Brooklyn Bridge. “But I’ve always liked singing.” He broke into snatches of a couple of tunes to illustrate the point. “It finally struck me that if I could find some captive – and uncritical – audiences, I could indulge myself a little more.”

Although “indulge myself” isn’t something one necessarily wants to hear from someone running for office, it at least helps contribute anecdotal evidence to support the maxim “Politics is Show Business for Ugly People.” And lest you try to accuse Miller of pandering, know that his street cred is real:

“Half my security detail can sing the ‘Hatikvah,’ ” he said, referring to the Israeli anthem, one of several he has learned and sung on the campaign trail, including the national songs of Greece, Kenya and Ireland (in Gaelic, though he usually sticks to English, since “most Irish-Americans don’t speak Gaelic, so it just seemed like showing off”). He especially enjoys the official anthem of Puerto Rico. “It’s called ‘La Borinqueña,’ ” he said, lolling his L’s lustily. “Laaaaaa Borin-QUEN-YA.”

No, certainly no one is showing off here . . . no siree!

Kerrey: Not Running For Mayor

New School President, 911 Commission Member and former Senator Bob Kerrey yesterday confirmed that he is not running for mayor, leading one to wonder what purpose it served to say what he said the other day.

The Times article suggests that he may have had a Wesley Clark-esque problem in praising his potential opponent before damning him:

And though his potential candidacy had clearly excited some Democrats in the city, there was no clear groundswell of calls for him to enter the race – perhaps because he had potentially undercut his candidacy with positive comments about the mayor.

I wonder if this actually helps Bloomberg though — a feint by a presumably well-respected political figure to underscore the defects of the other candidates. Who knows . . .

Carpetbaggers

Following Bob Kerrey’s provocative statement this weekend that he may just be crazy enough to run for mayor (how did that 911 Commission work out for you, Senator?), the Times investigates the history of carpetbaggers in New York politics. They use the euphemism “recent transplant” instead of the obvious moniker.

Tribe: Plaza Grandstanding Unconstitutional

You know you’ve got trouble when Constitutional whiz Laurence Tribe (who on an admittedly imperfect liberal-conservative axis is like the polar opposite of, say, Antonin Scalia) says your bill is likely unconstitutional:

One of the nation’s leading constitutional scholars is scheduled to testify today that a bill aimed at halting the conversion of The Plaza hotel to condos is illegal.

“I started with an open mind,” said Harvard University Professor Laurence Tribe. “I was retained to do an analysis. I have concluded it’s unconstitutional.”

The legislation would prevent hotel owners from converting more than 20 percent of their rooms to condos or co-ops.

Tribe, one of the nation’s foremost authorities on the Constitution, performed the analysis for Elad Properties, which wants to convert part of the hotel to condos.

At the behest of the hotel workers union, the City Council is considering a bill that would ban such conversions except in cases of financial distress.

Tribe will testify before the council’s Economic Development Subcommittee today.

Tribe said in an interview that the council’s action amounts to the taking of private property by a government body, for which there must be just compensation.

“Here, there is no compensation, and that’s what makes it unconstitutional,” he said.

Will this stop the Council from moving ahead with the bill and wasting everyone’s time and money? Probably not . . . but at least they can tell the unions they tried!