Mayor Mike: Rockin’ the Mic Left and Right

The Mayor’s kitchen cabinet in full gear, someone remembered the Bears’ Super Bowl Shuffle and lo and behold, a rap penned in honor of Mayor Bloomberg emerged:

“Mayor Mike’s Rockin”
BY ALISTAIR (CHARLIE BIGGS) SEALY
and LENNY (MR. L) MOORE

Who’s running the city an’ making it airtight?

I can tell you that nobody cares like Mayor Mike

Make your own way, go against that grain

It takes an independent mind to wanna change this game …

For people who thought he was keepin’ his dough

Saved the Harlem Dance Theatre when it needed him most …

The Board of Ed failed, that remains a true thing

Some are scared to change the way we do things

Mayor Mike is gettin’ with the times

Leaders should be independently inclined

City . . . airtight . . . can’t breathe . . . help!

The forgotten final verse (with apologies to Jim McMahon):

I am the funky mayor, known as Bloomberg.
They call me hizzoner, and I’ve got to return.
My funky kitchen cabinet gets into the mix
‘Cause they know I can’t dance, but that I can take the six.
Olympic Committee, I like to tease.
Board of Ed, I make them say please.
Anything about the Jets, any foolish kerfuffle
Is quickly forgotten after the Funky Mike Shuffle.

Message: I Care

Why make like you care when you can just have your diverse, storied, veteran kitchen cabinet make like you make like you care? Shape your image without lifting a finger! Ridiculous ledes like this ensue:

A group of power brokers privately warned Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s re-election campaign this week that he must erase his image as an elitist billionaire and show that he cares about the concerns of average New Yorkers. [emphasis added]

The top secret meeting was top secret:

Campaign officials declined to comment on the meeting, saying it was a private strategy session, but several of the participants said they were led to believe that their ideas would be followed in some way. The mayor’s communications director, William T. Cunningham, who also attended the meeting, said yesterday that candidates always retold their life stories in a re-election fight, and that Mr. Bloomberg would do so during his campaign. [emphasis added]

Details of the secret meeting were scant, and few of those attended revealed much:

The meeting, described by seven participants [I could be reading it wrong, but the Times only mentions seven people being at the meeting!], provides a window into the challenges Mr. Bloomberg faces at an early but important stage of the mayoral race, when he has a chance to define his own image while his Democratic opponents are preoccupied with fighting for their party’s nomination. [emphasis added]

In fact, details were so scant, the Times only was able to uncover the most mundane, ultra-detailed details:

For some people sitting around the fold-out, cafeteria-style tables at the meeting, the mix of personalities alone was worth the invitation. As they enjoyed plain and chocolate croissants, cantaloupe and kiwi, some participants said they were amused to see Mr. Minarik, for instance, listening to Mr. Koch – who in spite of supporting some Republican politicians is still a quintessential Democrat for many upstate conservatives.

Dirty Tricks

The Daily News notes that City Councilman and mayoral hopeful Gifford Miller is accusing Mayor Michael Bloomberg of being a gay communist “Big diff in Giff riff bared”:

Gifford Miller’s oft-repeated campaign slogan – “We don’t need a red-state mayor in a blue-state city” – has a slightly different meaning in Russian.

Loosely translated, the City Council speaker has declared Mayor Bloomberg both Communist and gay – an unintentional gaffe noted by many of the city’s 300,000 Russian immigrants.

“We see it as a joke,” said an amused Vladimir Chernomorsky, a columnist for Novoye Russkoye Slovo (The New Russian Word), the country’s oldest Russian-language daily.”

Gifford’s campaign is mum on the mistranslation, leading to speculation that the wording was possibly intentional:

Miller’s campaign aides wouldn’t comment on what got lost in translation.

“Here in New York City, it means we have a Republican mayor who is unable or unwilling to stand up to a Republican President and governor to secure the city’s fair share,” Miller’s campaign spokesman Reggie Johnson replied.

OK, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, but wouldn’t it be satisfying if it was? What a perfect way to smear one’s opponent!

Grandstanding (Or, What Not to Say to a Bunch of Angry Ironworkers)

Mayoral hopeful Anthony Weiner convened a press conference to outline his ideas for the city’s future only to be met by a counterprotest from a group of ironworkers looking for work, in a manner of speaking:

Ironworkers crashed a news conference of mayoral hopeful Anthony Weiner held on the steps of City Hall yesterday, taunting the congressman over his opposition to the planned West Side stadium.

“Tony, Tony!” they shouted over and over. “Stadium yes, Weiner no!”

Weiner scheduled the event to issue a booklet spelling out his campaign of “ideas.” But most of the press questions focused on his opposition to the Bloomberg-backed Manhattan stadium plan.

Weiner wants the stadium to be built in Queens, near Shea Stadium.

Short of having my personal life exposed for all to see by the Post, the second worst thing I can imagine is to be bumrushed by a bunch of pissed off union guys. I live in fear that inflatable rat:

Still, it wouldn’t occur to me in a million years to try to drown them out with an alternative chant, as apparently happened with Representative Weiner:

After his news conference, Weiner tried to speak to the demonstrators, who repeatedly drowned him out with chants of “Build it now!”

He answered with chants of “Jets in Queens, Jets in Queens!” before giving up.

“Jets in Queens.” Hmm, has a ring to it. Not! Dude, they tried that already!

Inner Libertarian, Activate!

Inner libertarian: activate. Form of: a snarky blog post about a proposed City Council bill to force movie theaters to be truthful about when the main feature will begin:

It’s the latest horror at the movies: endless ads for everything from ladies’ underwear to perfume to soda.

But a new City Council bill aims to set moviegoers free with a different kind of advertising – movie listings that reflect when movies actually begin, not the ads and previews before.

“We can’t outlaw advertising,” said City Councilwoman Gale Brewer (D-Manhattan), author of the bill. “But at least we can tell the industry that they have to be honest about when their movies start, not their ads.”

. . .

If passed, Brewer’s bill would require theaters to advertise the “actual start time” of any movie, not when ads and previews begin. Any theater that doesn’t comply could face fines of $500 to $1,000 for each infraction.

Not surprisingly, the city’s larger theater chains are giving two thumbs down to the idea, saying moviegoers know to expect “pre-feature content” at any movie.

Shouldn’t the City Council be more worried about the important issues — resolutions opposing war in Iraq, for example?

Council Member Brewer explains herself:

“In the scheme of things, it isn’t life or death,” said Brewer. “But people shouldn’t feel used after going to the movies.”

If the benchmark for passing legislation protecting consumers is “feeling used,” then I can think of many more useful bills — a warning label indicating when Andy Dick will appear, for example. The possibilities are endless.