It’s Never Too Early To Turn Young People On To The Magical Experience Of Broadway

The theatrical-industrial complex has American families by the horns . . . and pre-recorded horn sections:

Four hundred and fifty bucks. That’s what it cost the Agnew family for a Saturday night performance of “The Lion King.” Whether that considerable chunk was spent for two hours and 45 minutes of delight or for one flustered and fuss-filled act followed by a hasty escape at intermission came down to one person: Harris Agnew, age 3.

“We’re questioning the thought process at this moment,” said Jim Agnew of Williamsburg, Va., who was standing in line before the show with his wife, Julie, and their children, Clark, 6, and Harris.

“If it goes well,” Ms. Agnew said, “this will be a magical experience.” She looked at Harris uncertainly. “We’re hoping.”

The perception of Broadway as a destination for families with children has been growing for years, keeping pace with the rise of the tourist audience. According to the League of American Theaters and Producers, the proportion of Broadway theatergoers under the age of 18 rose from 4 percent in 1980 to a peak of 11.6 percent in the 2000-01 season. Last season 9.6 percent were under 18, with a third of those — or 384,000 theatergoers — under 12.

. . .

According to several ushers interviewed, most parents understand that they need to do something when a child becomes, well, a situation. But, said Dana Amendola, vice president for operations at Disney Theatricals, ushers try to move in before things get out of hand. In those circumstances, diplomacy is required.

“You can’t tell a parent, ‘This is not appropriate for your 4-year-old or your 5-year-old,'” Mr. Amendola said. “You give the parents an option,” which, he explained, could mean watching the show on a screen in the lobby, or from the back of the theater.

Nevertheless, the prospect of a tantrum is real, and a plan must be hatched. The Agnews discussed a one-parent/one-child split at intermission if Harris, the 3-year-old, became restless. (For the record, Harris stayed for the long haul and enjoyed himself.)

Pimp, Pimp, Pimp, Pimp Your Ass Off

One possibility for “something spectacular” at Coney Island emerges:

SpongeBob SquarePants could soon frolic along Coney Island’s boardwalk.

Cable-TV giant Nickelodeon has expressed interest in being part of developer Thor Equities’ $2 billion plan to turn the famed summer amusement area’s rundown strip into a glitzy year-round playground and public attraction, sources said.

Nickelodeon’s parent company, Viacom, is talking with Thor about the possibility of the kids network operating a theme hotel on part of the 3.1-acre Astroland amusement-park property the developer purchased last week.

. . .

Thor spokesman Lee Silberstein said companies are interested in Coney Island “now that there is a serious proposal for the area’s revival.”

Nickelodeon Senior VP Howard Smith said, “We think a Nickelodeon-themed family resort hotel would be hugely popular with New Yorkers.”

Pigeons Are Rats With Wings And Outdoor Advertising Companies Are Wraps With Wildposting

Illegal outdoor advertising is an aesthetic crime, perpetrated by smarmy third-party outfits who are no better than real estate brokers (sure, beat up on brokers!):

Under the cover of construction, ads for some of the world’s biggest brands are taking up residence at many of New York’s most prestigious addresses, including many buildings designated as landmarks. So far, Stringer’s PR campaign seems to have had little affect on the number of illegal ads vying for public attention.

Why do these blatantly illegal ads flourish in plain sight, despite the vocal opposition?

It’s one of those urban paradoxes: Some of the most conspicuous objects in the city are affixed to some of the most famous addresses in town, but it’s not clear to the casual observer how they got there. We know the brand in the ad, we know the address. But the middlemen are the mystery.

Upon further investigation, some of the mystery is revealed: It turns out that the recent construction site blight has a lot to do with a group of firms known as outdoor advertising companies (OAC).

Outdoor ad agencies are like real estate agencies for outdoor ad space. They are the brokers who bring landlords and brands together.

Ladies And Gentlemen, Please Give A Warm Round Of Applause For Haftorah Reader Jack Benny!

But it’s still unclear whether even the performance will have enough for a minyan:

Impressive, those names in the sanctuary of the little synagogue on West 47th Street in Manhattan: Joe E. Lewis and Sophie Tucker on the stained-glass windows, Jack Benny on a plaque in the rear. The names tell you why, in its golden age, this synagogue became known as the Actors’ Temple. They also tell you something about when that golden age was.

Recently — say, oh, during the last half-century — this temple, with a declining membership and a vanishing budget, has not been doing so well. So starting with an official opening night tomorrow, the Actors’ Temple, for the first time in its 89-year history, will be moonlighting as an Off Broadway theater.

. . .

The temple was a tough sell, with restrictions over and above the usual constraints of a small theater. Sets need to be flexible enough so they don’t interfere with services; food taken into the temple must be kosher; and shows must go dark on Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. (The Saturday matinee is a sore point at the temple, but sometimes you’ve got to give an inch.) Holidays are booked, too, of course.

“You can’t move Yom Kippur because you have a show on,” Mr. Kifferstein said.

Board members talked with the producers of “A Jew Grows in Brooklyn,” a nostalgic comedy that seemed like just the thing, but negotiations broke down, and that show went to the 37 Arts, an Off Broadway theater on West 37th Street.

His Idea Of “Something Spectacular” Is Exactly What We Fear

Be sure to take a last thrilling ride in the Astrotower before it’s too late:

It’s the last ride for Astroland as New Yorkers know it.

A big-bucks developer bought up the gritty Brooklyn amusement park yesterday in its bid to turn Coney Island into a sparkling new $1.5 billion year-round resort.

The 2007 summer season will be Astroland’s last under the plan, which would leave the historic landmark Cyclone roller coaster intact.

Astroland owner Carol Hill Albert sold the 3-acre Astroland site to developer Joseph Sitt’s Thor Equities for an unspecified amount.

. . .

Albert said she hopes to relocate some of the rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl and Tea Cups elsewhere along the Boardwalk.

Even if Albert is able to relocate rides like the Pirate Ship, Top Spin and the Scrambler, one of the most popular, the Astrotower, will have to leave Coney Island for good.

“That I can’t move,” said Albert, who noted it would cost as much as $400,000 to move the 200-foot, World’s Fair era attraction. “You can put it on eBay for me.”

Thor spokesman Lee Silberstein said the famed Cyclone roller coaster, which sits on city land, would not change hands and would continue to be operated by Albert.

The rest of Astroland would be cleared for new rides and an indoor entertainment complex, but Silberstein declined to reveal specific plans.

Thor also envisions luxury condos, and turning Stillwell Ave. into a tree-lined pedestrian mall filled with cafes and shops.

“We’re thinking totally outside of the box,” said Silberstein. “We’re thinking something spectacular that would be really great for New York City.”

Location Scout: Coney Island.