Shipwrecked

The New York Times answers the question whether it’s possible to become shipwrecked inside city limits: Yes.

New Danger

As if electrified sidewalks weren’t already bad enough, skirt-wearing pedestrians now must worry about peeping toms working from under the subway grates:

At first, it looked as if it might be a bomb. The truth, it turned out, was not as dangerous but was alarming nevertheless: someone had put a video camera below a street grate on the Upper East Side, apparently placed to look up the skirts of women walking past, the police said.

A passer-by spotted the camera on Tuesday on a shelf above a subway catwalk, about three feet below street level, rigged to a battery pack and pointed straight up on the south side of 88th Street just west of Lexington Avenue. After the passer-by called the police, the bomb squad arrived, and a technician dropped onto the catwalk, among cigarette butts, bottle caps and gum wrappers, to examine a camera connected to a digital video recorder, the police said.

The discovery repulsed women who live or work near the corner.

. . .

“I guess I have to be a little more careful now walking on the street.”

The (diminished but still present) threat of mugging, iPod heists, electrified sidewalks — how much more careful can one possibly be?

Does the Asian Longhorned Beetle Perhaps Suffer from Allergies?

If you noticed yourself sneezing more in the past couple of days, it’s not your fault; tree pollen is atrociously high right now. The Daily News offers tips to save yourself:

• Wash your hair every night and, before entering your bedroom, change your clothes to remove pollen that collects during the day.
• At home or when driving, keep the windows closed and set the air conditioner to recirculate air to keep out pollen.
• Avoid eating apples, pears and hazelnuts (even hazelnut-flavored coffee) if you suffer from tree pollen allergies.
• If you are allergic to grass pollen (peak season is in June), avoid celery, cereal grains, melons and tomatoes.
• If you are allergic to weed pollen (peak season is in late August to September), avoid bananas, zucchini, cucumbers, echinacea and sunflower seeds.
• If you have a yard, keep grass cut short and flower beds weed free. Avoid planting junipers, Bermuda grass, ryegrass and chrysanthemums. Go for less allergy-inducing plants such as azaleas, begonias, bulbs (tulips, irises, poppies and daffodils), and palms, pines, firs and dogwoods.

Before the end of the day, I will be replacing all of the city’s trees with palms. We will be the Miami of the North.

Of course, this will be moot when the dreaded Asian Longhorned Beetle eats all the city’s trees and once and for all takes care of our allergy problems: “Beetle may kill half of city trees.”

Familiarize yourself with your allergy-alleviating comrades: USDA Plant Protection and Quarantine Asian Longhorned Beetle Backgrounder.

PSA

For the 10,000th time, if you drop something on the subway tracks, do not go down there yourself. And being “mentally handicapped” is not an excuse: “Killed getting purse off tracks”.

For the 20,000th time, don’t smoke in bed (who still smokes in bed?): “Woman dies in Qns. fire her cig may have started”.

And finally, if you’re the MTA, think long and hard about what this tells the public about your credibility on other issues including, most importantly, supposed pending billion-dollar-plus deficits: “Straphangers cheer C train’s return”.

Bonus Point: New York Daily News Headlines Kill (Gawker).

The Discarded Christmas Tree

Now that the holiday season has passed, please note that there is a right way and a wrong way to discard one’s Christmas tree. Incorrect options include but are not limited to, for example, throwing it out on the beach in the hopes that it will be dragged out to sea:

Perhaps this person was unaware of Mulchfest 2005? Perhaps.

See also: The Discarded Christmas Tree, a Bridge and Tunnel Club photo essay; “The Ghosts of Christmas Past” (Guardian Unlimited, January 10, 2005).