How Dare It Openly Mock Those Broad, Unbroken And Ideal Sight Lines!

Everyone agrees that there is more than enough advertising in the city, some of which is actually illegal:

Patience and Fortitude, the lions that guard the New York Public Library, have beheld many things in their 95 years: numberless readers coming and going, great generals and brave troops passing by, legions of marchers celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and Pulaski Day, organized labor and gay liberation.

Now they behold two giant Scotch bottles.

In the sea of advertising that seems to have washed over construction scaffolding around New York City, the new six-story Chivas Regal billboard on 475 Fifth Avenue stands out because it dominates the landscape around the library’s colorful lawns, ample terraces and majestic staircase.

It is also illegal, the city says.

The Department of Buildings inspected the scaffolding this week and found six violations, three involving the sign, which faces Fifth Avenue and 41st Street.

(Wow, after yesterday’s howler, even more totally wacky, out-of-left-field David Dunlap prose!)

This, however, seems like a little bit of an overreaction:

The Institute of Classical Architecture is an educational organization dedicated to fostering the classical tradition, as epitomized by the library. Its office is two blocks from the library. And its president, Paul Gunther, said his blood boiled when he saw the Chivas sign.

“In open defiance of a law still without the teeth of enforcement,” he said in an e-mail message, “these glaring, scaffold-held billboards not only degrade this public — even sacred — space, but openly mock it, as if to announce, ‘Thanks for the broad, unbroken and ideal sight lines.'”

The best part: the violations only carry a $2,500 fine . . .

Take A Cab!

This bus driver should be praised as a guardian of public health, not singled out in the Post for his over-zealousness:

If you cough, you gotta get off!

That’s the philosophy of one city bus driver, according to a Wall Street banker who claims he was ejected for coughing.

Michael Goga says the germophobic driver of an X10 express bus to Staten Island yesterday became incensed right after Goga “just cleared my throat.”

“Sir, you coughed on my bus and you have to get off,” Goga says the driver told him. “I can’t have you get sick on this bus.”

When Goga refused, he says, the driver took the bus out of service and ordered all the passengers off in lower Manhattan. Goga then called cops to file a complaint.

The MTA contends the driver only attempted to forestall the rapid transit of germs by asking Goga to cover his mouth.

In The City That Never Sleeps, A Corner Where Streets Are Never Sweeped

There are many amazing details buried in this story:

City Island, the last bastion of alternate-side-free parking in the Bronx, has been spared for now.

But the trade-off is another two years of road construction along its main thoroughfare.

At a public hearing last week, Community Board 10 voted to table a motion to add parking regulations along City Island Ave., which runs along the entire island.

The motion will probably not be brought before the board again until after a sewer project and the replacement of the bridge leading to the island are completed, according to those familiar with the issue.

“It probably won’t be happening for quite some time,” said District Manager Kenneth Kearns. “I would guess it’d be a minimum of two years.”

The Garden Club of City Island requested that alternate-side parking be enforced for 30 minutes twice a week to give street sweepers a chance to clean the road, which becomes traffic-congested, especially on weekends and during the summer, when hordes of visitors come to the island for its numerous seafood restaurants.

Until recently, the club paid two workers to sweep the mile-long street on foot, even though city regulations hold property owners responsible for cleaning 18 inches into the street in front of their properties.

One of those workers graduated college and no longer had time to clean. The other, a senior citizen, could not handle the whole road alone.

Is the most amazing detail A) there’s a little corner of the city where alternate-side parking doesn’t exist (a veritable Big Rock Candy Mountain for car owners); B) a two-man crew consisting of an elderly person and a college student has been cleaning the entire road; or C) alternate-side parking actually exists for the purpose of sweeping the streets?

Obviously the answer is C . . .

Location Scout: City Island.

Brooklyn Neighborhood Wants Overzealous Sanitation Department To Toss Out Violations

Dyker Heights residents are banding together to protest ridiculous sanitation tickets:

After getting blitzed with $25 tickets for allegedly putting recyclables in their trash last week, some homeowners on 71 St. between 10th Ave. and Fort Hamilton Parkway are refusing to pay.

One resident was cited for tossing 30 “unsoiled” paper plates out with her trash.

Lina Giammarino also found a city Sanitation Department violation posted on her door the morning of Oct. 3.

But Giammarino said she places only grease-soaked paper plates in her trash — and at most, three or four.

“I want to know, are we supposed to wash them and dry them and put them in the recycle?” demanded the outraged grandmother.

. . .

Resident Tony Mastellone said he was ticketed for recyclable materials passersby tossed into his trash cans.

“Should we be policemen over our garbage?” asked an indignant Mastellone, 52, a retired sanitation officer.

Anthony Pandolfo, 72, was hit for not recycling a plastic food container and hanger. One problem: The city considers neither item recyclable.

While confusion over what to recycle reigned, Giammarino had no qualms about what to do. She waited for a Sanitation truck to arrive the morning she was ticketed and asked the crew to inspect her black garbage bag — which she said the ticketing agent had not bothered to open.

“Even the sanitation man said they were covered in grease,” Giammarino said.

You don’t think they have a quota, too?

Shh, Don’t Tell PETA . . . But It Works!

The buzz in Queens is about the new electrified subway trusses that are keeping pigeons away:

Pigeons have long plagued a stretch of Roosevelt Avenue in Woodside, making a home among the trusses and girders under the rumble and roar of the No. 7 train and leaving their mark on the sidewalk, stairs and lampposts.

After a decade of requests, New York City Transit is providing some relief in the form of low-voltage wires that give the birds a little shock.

New York City Transit, a division of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, began installation of the pigeon deterrent at the 52nd Street stop of the No. 7 train in August as part of a pilot program to rid the area of the birds, and the work continues, a New York City Transit spokesman said.

. . .

The preventive measure is comprised of a flexible wire and plastic molding carrying a low voltage that gives a mild and non-lethal shock to the birds, according to the manufacturer’s Web site. The system, called Shock Track, is manufactured by Bird-B-Gone Inc. of Mission Viejo, Calif.

City Councilman Eric Gioia (D-Sunnyside) also lobbied on behalf of the deterrent system, writing his first letter about the pigeons to the president of New York City Transit only weeks after taking office in 2002.

The Woodside location is the first site where New York City Transit has installed this system, which is considered a pilot program, Transit spokesman James Anyansi said.

. . .

Jose Sanchez, a newspapers salesman who has been working just outside the station for the past eight months, said the bird droppings still coating parts of the sidewalk had been a problem for commuters.

“It would fall on many people. It was a problem, but not so much for me,” he said.

He said the system appeared to be working: “There are fewer pigeons in the past five weeks.”

State Assemblywomen Catherine Nolan (D-Ridgewood) and Margaret Markey (D-Maspeth) lobbied the agency for a cleanup.

“I am pleased that the MTA has started to address this serious health and sanitation issue. It is a relief to know that this unsightly and unsanitary situation will soon be fixed,” Nolan said.