If You Can’t Beat Them, Give Them One Of The Piers To Piss And Crap On
After years of being smacked on the nose for their four-legged infractions, Long Island City dog owners are finally being allowed to sniff some fresh, park air.
Gantry Plaza State Park has long been off limits to pooches, but that will now change after area elected officials brokered a deal with state parks officials for a six-month trial run. The trial run opens up Pier 4 to K-9’s during certain morning and evening hours.
Dopey dog imagery aside, the only “breath of fresh air” has been the New York State Department of Parks, whose regional directors know that too many of the dog owners of Long Island City are boorish, selfish, disgusting canine custodians who treat the parks there as their own backyard — and not one of the nicely appointed backyards but rather one of those gross backyards with fossilized dog shit landmines every couple of feet.
But no, elected officials had to step in to “broker a deal” and “protect the interests” of people who shouldn’t be owning outdoor animals in the first place.
Many dog owners simply ignore the signs that are already there. And the State Parks Department is correct that dog owners can’t handle stopping their pets from pooping and pissing in the park. Dog owners let dogs poop and piss in all sorts of places you would hope they wouldn’t: walls, trees, bags of trash (nice to do to hard-working Sanitation employees, by the way!), your front stoop. Face it, the only reason dog owners want access to the park is to allow themselves an aesthetically pleasing backdrop during their animals’ bathroom breaks. And when you allow that, they’re going to let those beasts poop and piss there, too.
But again, our elected officials, huge pussies they are, in effect overruled the professionals in charge.
You need a pet in an urban area? Get a fucking cat! That way it can poop and piss in your house and not all over mine.
Earlier: The Silent Majority Needs To Speak Up.
Location Scout: Gantry Plaza State Park.
Posted: March 22nd, 2011 | Filed under: Please, Make It Stop, Queens