Trees: The Silent Killer

And like an invasion of B-movie zombies, they die, lay in wait, and strike when you least expect it:

A Queens tree branch that neighbors had complained was rotten came crashing down on power lines Thursday, sparking a stubborn blaze that destroyed a church, witnesses said.

The Deeper Life Christian Fellowship Church on 111th St. in Richmond Hill caught fire when the limb collapsed onto the wires and a car.

“It caused a chain reaction,” said a neighborhood resident who gave her name only as Adel. “It kept popping like a firecracker,” she said. “It was a crackling of electricity.”

First They Came For Our Mink Stoles, But We Didn’t Care Because Who Has The Dough For A Mink Stole?

Then they came for our live octopus, but we didn’t speak up because, well, eating live* octopus — as adventuresome as that sounds! — also looks pretty icky:

A clash of cultures arrived outside two Flushing restaurants last Thursday evening as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals members protested the Korean culinary tradition of eating live octopus and the techniques sometimes employed when doing so.

The practice caught the attention of PETA members in recent weeks after the animal rights organization received numerous complaints about YouTube videos depicting diners eating squirming octopus, known as “sannakji,” at East Seafood Restaurant on Northern Boulevard and Sik Gaek on Crocheron Avenue.

*5/4: See nerve-tingling update, then make reservations at Sik Gaek.

Queens Crush!

Where Staten Island has moved too slowly, Queens picks up the slack:

The Queens County Farm Museum in Floral Park is poised to uncork the inaugural bottles of its own wine, believed to be the first to feature city-grown grapes, next month.

Farm Museum Director of Operations Gary Mitchell and staff have been growing Chardonnay, Merlot and Cabernet Franc grapes since 2004 on a tiny, 1-1/2-acre plot on their Floral Park property.

. . .

Now New Yorkers can finally get a sip. The Farm Museum will debut the first of the 900 cases it has yielded so far at a wine auction inside their barn on May 18. They’ll unveil their 2006 Adriance Blend, a mix of Cabernet Franc and other grapes, as well as a 2006 Merlot and a 2007 Chardonnay.

“What we do really well is Merlot,” boasted Mitchell, 49.

. . .

“It’s not Chateau de Fil, but it’s not swill, either,” said Amy Fischetti-Boncardo, director of the farm.

Location Scout: Queens County Farm Museum.

Greatest Joyride Ever!

Who would want to steal a Greyhound bus? More like Who wouldn’t want to steal a Greyhound bus:

Cops recovered an abandoned Greyhound in Queens Wednesday that had been swiped from one of the bus line’s lots on Sunday.

“Who would want to steal a Greyhound?” asked Jose Martinez, 42, a worker at an East Elmhurst deli where the $75,000 bus was found. “It’s not like you can sell it or hide easily.”

“Productivity Goals” Return

Apparently now that the election season has come and gone city ticket agents can go back to doing what they do best — cheap collars in Astoria:

Swarms of traffic agents patrol the jammed streets of Astoria’s commercial strips every day, writing tickets for expired meters and double-parked cars — even as drivers sit in their vehicles.

Earlier: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Quotas — We Have Productivity Goals For That!; Countless Hovers Under Cover Of The Street, Or, The Gift Down Below.