The Trial Of The “Walking Doormen”

Brian Carter again comes clean in the New York Press about that dirty business:

The temperature had officially reached 100 degrees. I was walking a heavy-set billboard salesman from a tiny studio on Hudson Street to an even smaller place on the Lower East Side. He already owned a place in Jersey, but said what he really needed was, “a shack up pad.” He asked, more than once, if it was legal to fasten a mirror on the ceiling, and if I knew anyone who could do it.

. . .

Before the Internet, agents had the opportunity to earn their commission. We were the gatekeepers to uncommon knowledge. If I told you there were only three apartments in Gramercy Park, you pretty much had to take my word for it. Trust saved everybody a lot of time, and loyalty was equally rewarded. Of course, it was beside the point if I was lying. Then again, why would I? You were my client, and eventually we would find what you were looking for.

The Internet has reduced the agents, in most cases, to little more than walking doormen. A necessary evil in an already absurd endeavor, we are viewed more as an obstacle than an opportunity. I don’t really have clients any more; I have ten minute meetings in apartments.

We finally made it to the Lower East Side. We were in the apartment less than five minutes when his cell phone rang. It was another broker. It’s common these days for a client to make appointments with one broker while looking with another. But it’s hard to call someone a “client” when I’m only showing him two apartments. It’s even harder to charge him $3000 for doing so.

The Case Against Brokers Part One: Business Had Been Slow, But One Day This Dame Walks In And Hands Me One Of My Biggest Cases . . .

The Case Against Brokers Part Two: Dwayne Schneider As Father Figure.

Raise High The Rent Ceiling!

Gubernatorial candidate Eliot Spitzer is calling for an increase in the price limit for rent stabilized apartments:

Spitzer, a Democrat and the state attorney general, floated the idea in the Bronx during a morning of campaigning dedicated to outlining his affordable housing policy.

Current law dictates that once the cost of a stabilized apartment exceeds $2,000 a month, the unit can be pulled from the rent regulation rolls and a market rate can be charged.

The issue, Spitzer said, is “should there be an inflation escalator there so that $2,000 figure doesn’t become effectively a much lower threshold as years go by.”

He did not say how high the threshold should be raised. A change to the $2,000 benchmark would require approval from state lawmakers.

Upper East Side Infestation In Chelsea; “Hetero Outposts” Torn Down Too Soon

The so-called last “Hetero outpost in Chelsea will fall to the wrecking ball”:

Phil Alotta pulled down the heavy metal gate outside his restaurant Chelsea Grill last Sunday afternoon. Then he and his wife, Carolyn, attached several heavy padlocks to secure it. They would only close up one more time. An auction of the place’s contents was scheduled for Monday, after which Chelsea Grill’s 15 years at the location would come to an end.

A new six-story, residential building with upscale retail on the ground floor is slated for most of the block on the west side of Eighth Ave. between 16th St. and 17th Sts., extending back through the block to Dr. Gertrude B. Kelly Playground. Several one-story buildings, as well as three early 19th-century, four-story houses will be razed to make way for the new building.

. . .

Tim Gay, a former Democratic district leader who lives in the corner building at 17th St. that isn’t being torn down, said the strip of restaurants was one of the places straights congregated in Chelsea.

“Chelsea Grill was a major hangout for the heterosexuals,” he said.

But in an odd twist, the forces of gentrification mean that a new hetero outpost may be needed sooner than expected:

But Alotta said his customer base in Chelsea was a 50/50 mix of gays and straights. Priced out of Chelsea, gays have already been leaving for a while already, Alotta said. He said he hears that, after Hell’s Kitchen, the next gay exodus will be to Washington Heights.

. . .

Passersby who were reading the farewell sign on the door of Chelsea Grill last Friday evening said they just hope the new building won’t resemble the high-rise across the street — the Grand Chelsea — the design of which most consider an abomination. The neighborhood keeps upscaling and affordable stores that sell things people who live in the neighborhood need are disappearing, said Lee Fergusson, who lives around the corner.

“It’s not good because the whole neighborhood is becoming generic,” said Fergusson. “The deli on the corner just had its rent raised from $10,000 to $30,000. So the neighborhood loses its deli and what goes in there? Gay T-shirts . . . .”

Three other old buildings on 18th St. were also recently demolished. State Senator Tom Duane said the hope was that the Chelsea Plan, which was passed in 1998, would preserve low-rise buildings on Eighth Ave. by downzoning Eighth Ave. and allowing taller buildings on Sixth Ave. and 23rd St. But, clearly, the downzoning isn’t stopping the wrecking ball.

“The Grand Chelsea was the one that spurred everyone into action,” Duane said. “That’s when people realized, ‘My God, Eighth Ave. could turn into the Upper East Side with towers.’ These new buildings will be low-rise — but they’re still destroying buildings.”

The Face Of Gentrification Is . . . Heath Ledger

Heath and Jennifer Connelly are driving up prices:

There’s a certain breed of New York celebrity who’s too cool for uptown, but craves a brownstone block. They seek leafy streets with the scale of the West Village, but shy away from the throngs and the spotlight.

Meet fame on the down-low — celebs who live in Brooklyn.

The roster of Hollywood A-listers, music-industry powerhouses, authors and artisans who reside in the Borough of Kings is top-notch.

Wander over to the Grand Army Plaza subway station in Park Slope and you might catch Jennifer Connelly looking “beautiful and fragile, with no makeup on and dressed in jeans, a brown sweater, and sleeveless green vest,” as one fellow Brooklynite described her, as she takes her eldest son to school weekday mornings.

Over on Atlantic, see Heath Ledger — who, with Michelle Williams, is raising a daughter, Matilda, in Boerum Hill — ducking into a deli Sunday morning for bottled water.

Later in the week, Williams may pop by Smith Street lingerie store Andie Wee while actors Emily Mortimer — spotted having trouble finding her wallet in Cobble Hill’s Pacific Green grocery — and Alessandro Nivola push a stroller along the sidewalk outside.

. . .

While hardly a new phenomenon — there’s always been a diaspora of celebrities eking out low-profile lives in nearly every part of New York — Brooklyn has outgrown its edgy, destitute-art-student reputation of years gone by. It has come into its own as a magnet for some of the most sought-after talents in the entertainment industry.

Yes, can’t wait for “A Beautiful Mind II: The Really Senile Years.”

Dwayne Schneider As Father Figure

Last we left Brian Carter, he was explaining why you shouldn’t feel bad about ripping off brokers. This week he highlights the importance of bribing the super, with varying results:

Still relatively new to the real estate game, I figured it was time to up the ante. I needed to take the next step in my career. I decided to bribe my first super.

In this slightly confused business, it’s often the guy fixing the toilets and hauling the garbage that has the most influence. Supers know everything. A couple of Yankees tickets or a $100 bill slipped under his door can go a long way in a tight market.

A good super has the inside track on who is moving out and more importantly, when. They open the doors for some agents, and can’t seem to find the keys for others. It took me a while before I learned to interpret, “Sorry Pal. Can’t get you in, just had the floors done.” What he really means is that another agent is already slipping him enough cash to keep the door closed to competition.

Unless you had a stable of exclusives, which I didn’t, most agents are showing the same “open listings.” A few days ahead of the pack is a huge advantage when solid apartments are renting the day they hit the market. Armed with only a set of business cards and 40 bucks, I set out for the East Village in search of anyone in work boots and a garden hose in their hand.

I had little experience in bribing anyone (other than my younger brothers), and wasn’t really sure of how to start the conversation.

. . .

Getting ready to call it quits and head back to the office to start thinking “outside of the box” again, I passed a hardware store on First Ave. An older and well-built Spanish man was leaving with a bundle of rat traps. I was too tired to play it coy.

“You a super?”

“Yup.”

“Got any apartments available?”

“Not right now, but I might in a week.”

I felt it was going ok, and waded in a little further.

“Great. How can I, you know, get into to see it?”

“Just call me up,” he said flatly.

“I’m sort of new to this, but is there any way I can make sure I get in first?”

He thought about it for a moment, but seemed a little confused by the question.

“I guess so . . . if you’re the first one who calls.”

Don’t you know who I am? (You think Bonnie Fucking Franklin had to bribe her super!?)