In New York — Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of! — There’s Nothing You Can’t Do, Now You’re In New York!

That magical key that the Daily News revealed opens every subway gate in the system apparently also opens EMS stations across the city:

The key also opens 14 of the city’s 35 Emergency Medical Service stations — potentially exposing them to thieves looking for equipment and controlled drugs such as morphine, a union leader warned.

And then there’s Gramercy Park . . .

Savor This, Because It Will Probably Never Ever Happen Again In Your Lifetime

A subway project will be completed years before it is actually necessary:

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority and the Related Companies, the real estate concern, appear to be weeks away from a final agreement on the long-delayed $15 billion redevelopment of the railyards on the Far West Side of Manhattan.

Under a deal unveiled Monday, Related would commit to the project with a $21.7 million down payment. But the company would not have to close on the project — and therefore start paying the 99-year lease — until after the city’s real estate market improves.

Here are some more details about what benchmarks constitute an “improving” real estate market (“Assuming Related signs its contract with the M.T.A., it will not have to close on the deal and thus be on the hook to start paying rent worth about $1 billion until the three triggers are hit. That kicks the can down the road some on the question of whether or not Related will indeed go ahead with the deal, which seems quite risky right now.”).

Remember, Bloomberg put everyone in debt for the $2 billion subway extension — something to think about if (when?) services are cut in the coming FY2011 budget. The argument for the bonds went that by developing the railyards, the City would recoup the costs of the extension through higher property taxes. Revenue-raising tax base-based developments may have worked in the 19th century (think Central Park), but today’s regional economy seems more like a zero-sum game (unless you really think New York City will have 1 million new residents by 2030 — perhaps the 2010 census will shed some light about where they are in that bold prediction).

Back to the 7 extension though — would it have been so bad to try out Bus Rapid Transit in a part of the city that doesn’t even have the infrastructure to support an expensive subway project? Or is the dirty secret about BRT that everyone knows in their heart of hearts that it’s kind of lame? Think about what a $2 billion bond could have done for other transportation projects — even current transportation projects — even current transportation projects in Manhattan (East Harlem seems like a good candidate for some wealth creation — and people actually live there already!).

I Was Under The Impression That Employers Photocopied Social Security Cards And Driver’s Licenses Before Hiring New Employees

It’s not just on the subway — now the JFK flight tower is also exposing a new generation to future job opportunities:

The Federal Aviation Administration is investigating employees at the Kennedy Airport air-traffic control tower for apparently allowing a school-age child to transmit directions to pilots.

Location Scout: JFK.

Studies Prove It Once And For All: Lawn Furniture Saves Lives

And once you go to the trouble to install all that raised sidewalk, it’s annoying to have to get rid of it:

Broadway will remain permanently closed through Times Square after an eight-month tryout that infuriated cabbies but delighted tourists.

Mayor Bloomberg is set to announce the decision Thursday morning after weighing the complaints of area businesses against City Hall’s statistics.

One person familiar with the conclusions said traffic speeds increased slightly on Seventh Ave., but less than the 17% improvement DOT engineers predicted.

. . .

“If lives are being saved, it’s really hard to argue with,” said Transportation Alternatives spokesman Wiley Norvell.

Location Scout: Times Square Pedestrian Mall.

For A While There People Did All Sorts Of Crazy Shit With Their Money

Wow, you can climb into a cool pimped out limo and smoke pot with the driver:

The owners of Stuyvesant Town and Peter Cooper Village, the iconic middle-class housing complexes overlooking the East River in Manhattan, have decided to turn over the properties to creditors, officials said Monday morning.

. . .

For tenant advocates and urban planners, the sale underscored the loss of affordable housing in the city and the highly speculative financial structures that, they warned, would only end in disaster.

Sorry, wrong link there . . . turns out you can actually pay $100 an hour to rent a pimped out limo and smoke pot with the driver:

For $100 an hour, late-night club crawlers can spread across its red leather seats, roll up its tinted windows and share a fat joint with the driver – Al, the affable cannabis chauffeur.