How Shaky Is The Back Part Of The Yankees Rotation?

So shaky that they’re actually considering picking up newly minted Mets cast-off Ollie Perez:

According to WFAN and SI’s Jon Heyman, the Yankees have discussed signing Perez as a cheap option, although Brian Cashman appears “not that enthused” about the erratic lefty.

The Times Points At Your Overpriced Beer And Calls It Half Empty

If you conveniently disregard the Yankees and perhaps the Giants — and maybe the Islanders and the Devils, too — then New York is “loserville” when it comes to sports teams:

Yes, yes, there are the Yankees. But in New York, a city of self-styled sports sophisticates and billion-dollar franchises, they are the exception. Quite an exception to be sure — 27 World Series titles — but an exception all the same.

O.K., Giants fans, we hear you. We will concede: your team is not an epic loser. The Giants have won seven N.F.L. championships, three in the 45-season Super Bowl era, the last one in stunning fashion over the 18-0 New England Patriots in 2008. Not bad. The Jets would take it. But there is this fact to face: The Giants started playing during the Calvin Coolidge presidency in 1925.

. . .

One might wonder: what about the teams we’ve left out, like the Devils, who have drunk from the Stanley Cup three times since the Rangers? Or the Islanders and their four titles in the 1980s?

Well, their victory parades aren’t conducted up Broadway. Still, you can count them if it makes you feel better.

Which is to say, the Rangers, Mets, Knicks, Nets and Jets are all total underachievers.

Am I Authentic, Blue-Collar Or Proud [Check Box]?

They may not have done much yet in the off season but that doesn’t mean the team isn’t concerned about the brand:

With the last few dismal seasons behind them and one full of questions ahead, the Mets are conducting surveys — to find ways to win fans back.

“If the Mets’ logo were to appear on your favorite brand of bread, how would it affect your purchase?” asks an online poll sent to fans.

Some had a quick response — grumbling that the nearly 50-year-old franchise still seems more focused on developing a brand than on winning games. “This survey is either a testimony to their chutzpah or further proof that management is so out of touch with the fan base. Either way, it’s not the right way to connect with your potential customers,” [one fan] said after answering a survey question on whether he saw the Mets as “authentic,” “blue-collar” or “proud.”

Other funny questions in the survey include “When thinking about the New York Mets, what are the first five (5) words or phrases that come to mind?” — I would love to see some of the responses. Also “How likely would you recommend being a New York Mets fan to a friend or colleague?” — would even a fan wish that on someone? And this:

Which of the following phrases best describes the New York Mets organization? (Please select up to three responses)

• A community-oriented, socially responsible organization
• A young, hard-working organization that emphasizes a “team” approach
• A diverse organization that represents the local area
• An organization that plays the game hard, the right way, and with respect
• A welcoming, inviting, accessible and approachable organization
• A real, authentic organization that represents New York’s heritage and values
• An inspiring organization that works “for the people”
• A family-friendly, fan-friendly, fun organization
• An organization with new direction and new philosophy
• None of the above

People, take it away! Mets, please please please publish the responses!

New Yorkers Are Also Thought To Have A Keen Sense Of Faux Modesty And Are Expert At Exuding A Convincing Yet Hollow Self-Effacing Manner*

I still want “Cliff Lee” to become a verb for screwing over New York City, or at least being cooler than cool, or perhaps even shorthand for something along the lines of spurning better deals and “sacrificing” tens of millions while still receiving a $100 million-plus contract, but this Ed Koch observation deserves more mental space:

Lee, the prized pitcher who helped the Texas Rangers reach their first World Series, snubbed New York. He turned down the Yankees to join the Philadelphia Phillies, and though he is not the first player to reject the Yankees, the circumstances left some wondering whether he does not think highly of New York. The Phillies offered him less money, a minimum of five years and $120 million, than the Yankees, who dangled seven years and $148 million.

New York, the city of yes, has always had trouble dealing with no.

. . .

“New Yorkers are thought to be very tough and thick-skinned,” former Mayor Edward I. Koch said Tuesday. “Just the contrary: we are very thin-skinned. We don’t like to be insulted.

“Most people who live in New York weren’t born here. They come from every country in the world, so they bring with them their own traditions. And one of the traditions is being thin-skinned.”

*We can call it “Woody Allenism.”

Yankees Fans Doing Their Best To Welcome Cliff Lee Into The Fold

Yankees fans were on their best behavior during the ALCS, which apparently impressed Cliff Lee’s wife:

Perhaps the Rangers’ greatest sales pitch simply was having Kristen sit in the visiting family section at Yankee Stadium during the playoffs. She says there were ugly taunts. Obscenities. Cups of beer thrown. Even fans spitting from the section above.

“The fans did not do good things in my heart,” Kristen says.

“When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it’s hard not to take it personal.”

Not to worry — Yankees fans treat you like royalty once you wear the pinstripes.

And WABC’s Scott Clark just called out Philadelphia, saying on the 6 p.m. news that this was behavior you’d expect from Phillies fans, not Yankees fans. Maybe he’s right — in Philadelphia they’d probably vomit on the players’ wives.

Location Scout: Yankee Stadium.