God Rest Her Soul, Speed Her To Heaven, Use Her Prescription For More Drugs Before Anyone Realizes She’s Gone

The Advance continues its investigation into prescription drug abuse on the Island, highlighting the case of a son and daughter-in-law who used their dead mother to score more oxycodone:

He was so desperate to score prescription drugs that he and his wife had a script written out in his sick mother’s name — two weeks after she died, prosecutors allege.

Earlier: Must Be Why Everyone On Staten Island Is So Mellow.

“Yo, Tell ‘Em I Poo!”

The shit-smearing perp is unrepentant, and possibly schizophrenic, or maybe just schizophrenically unrepentant:

The 24-year-old man accused of smearing his excrement on his ex-girlfriend’s door and setting it ablaze launched into a surreal rant in front of news photographers yesterday, declaring himself a member of his own street gang and threatening to grab a photographer’s camera.

. . .

“Yo, tell ’em I poo,” he said, all while a videographer’s camera rolled.

Holding Out For A Day When Fecal Rampages Will Not Always Be Deemed So “Bizarre”

“Staten Island man set pregnant ex-girlfriend’s apartment ablaze in bizarre fecal rampage, cops allege”:

“I’m the devil!” [the suspect] was heard yelling as he knocked on a neighbor’s door early Sunday morning.

. . .

When firefighters and police arrived, [the suspect] was naked and still had the evidence on his hands, the source said.

Must Be Why Everyone On Staten Island Is So Mellow

“Staten Island again tops New York City in painkiller prescriptions per capita”:

Enough prescriptions for the drug were written last year for nearly one in three of the borough’s roughly half-million population, according to data released by city officials this week.

“We are equating this now to the epidemic we saw when crack cocaine was first introduced to New York City,” said District Attorney Daniel Donovan.

Defining Heinousness And Egregiousness Upward/No Hyperbole Left Behind

No doubt, this was a terrible thing for budding sociopaths to do:

The three suspects range in age from 11 to 13.

And while some of their fellow students inside Dreyfus Intermediate School were getting after-school help with their studies yesterday afternoon, the trio and two accomplices allegedly robbed a delivery man of pizza pies and soda in the school parking lot.

Teachers had ordered the snacks for kids studying after school.

But the problem with calling it both heinous and egregious is that it leaves little room for that which is really both heinous and egregious:

“This is a heinous and egregious act and this type of act is commonplace, and the students behave this way because they know there’s little or no consequences for their actions,” said a source at the Stapleton school.