One More Example Is All We Need To Make New York City Resemble A Cranked-Out Exurb Somewhere In Flyover Country

First manhole covers, now tree pit grates:

Thieves ripped away iron guards protecting roughly 20 trees on Restaurant Row, the Times Square Alliance announced Friday, one day after ConEd revealed the theft of more than 30 manhole covers were stolen around thfrom around the city.

Put That In Your Pitchfork!

Martin Bisi, the guy who caught the cop sleeping, a story that resonated for people who get concerned about cops falling asleep with loaded handguns in plain view, is the same guy who recorded so many indie acts over the years, including Sonic Youth and the Swans, not to mention Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit.”

Lesson: Always Question Names That Are Verb Phrases

I love the idea that someone accused of stalking goes by the name of “Meanwell”.

Another Reason To Be Circumcised

Besides lower STD rates, that is:

[An officer’s] lawsuit against the NYPD says the woman who accused him insisted he was uncircumcised but he has evidence his foreskin was removed in childhood.

He said a hearing officer’s ruling that arousal can make it difficult to determine if the sex organ is uncut was just wrong-headed.

“At no point during the trial was an expert called to render an opinion,” the court papers say.

Do Not Pity The Poor Squirrel; Rather, Let An Alleged Band Of Homeless Poachers Eat Them And Rid The Park Of The Scourge (Pigeons, Too, Now That I Think About It)

This seems like a win-win sort of thing but whatever:

Cops have busted a group of oddball poachers in Prospect Park — a band of vagrants that was trapping and eating ducks, squirrels and pigeons.

. . .

“This is a dodgy group,” said [a park-goer], who spotted one of the men catching a pigeon while his friend started a fire. “They are the most threatening people in the park.”

The disheveled — and possibly homeless — tribe in question uses “makeshift” fishing poles and traps to catch the critters, then grills them over the fire, according to park watchdogs.