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The Easy Solution . . .

. . . start driving again:

Sloshed straphangers made up nearly half of all accidental deaths underground during a 13- year Columbia University study.

“Now, if groups are going to a bar, then one should be a designated ‘safe rider,'” warned health professor Robyn Gershon, the study’s author.

Between 1990 and 2003, 145 of 315 unintentional deaths came when boozy riders stumbled off the platform, fell suddenly ill or, in acts of liquid courage, jumped onto the tracks to retrieve a personal item.

Drunken riders died at higher rates than those who were killed or committed suicide. And today’s economy might not help the equation.

“With the changes to the financial picture in New York, there’s talk of an increase in alcohol intake,” Gershon said.

Since most Manhattanites don’t own cars, Gershon said people might think “it’s OK to drink to the point of intoxication because they’re not driving.”

Posted: December 17th, 2008 | Filed under: Survey Says!/La Encuesta Dice!, We're All Gonna Die!

By The Numbers

A lot of condoms. A lot:

The Mayor’s Management Report, issued yesterday, showed that the Health Department gave away 39,070,000 male condoms to community groups in fiscal 2008, which ended on June 30.

That’s enough for every man, woman and child in the city six times over.

It was more than double the previous year’s 17,770,000.

The price tag of the rubbers was put at $1,054,228, which doesn’t include the bill for some 2 million female condoms.

Proponents argued that’s not much compared to the $350,000 lifetime cost for medicating a single person with AIDS.

Posted: September 18th, 2008 | Filed under: Survey Says!/La Encuesta Dice!

Study Sponsored By Consumer Goods Company That Shall Remain Nameless Because These Kinds Of Studies Are Generally Stupid . . .

. . . but I can’t believe someone is actually named “Jay Gooch”. I can’t believe he’s come this far since the days of terrorizing Gary Coleman:

Gotham took first for overall sweat production in a new study — although it came in only 68th among sweatiest cities per capita. The shining Apple produces an estimated 1.3 million gallons of sweat per hour — enough to fill the Central Park Reservoir in one summer month.

New Yorkers collectively outsweat Los Angeles, Chicago and even Houston.

For the fifth year in a row, Phoenix, Ariz., was named the sweatiest U.S. city with an average summer temperature of 95.1 degrees, according to sweat expert Dr. Jay Gooch.

And Gooch said New York’s humidity doesn’t make New Yorkers sweat more — it only increases the “misery factor.”

Posted: June 26th, 2008 | Filed under: Survey Says!/La Encuesta Dice!

Recession Widens

New Yorkers’ libidos hit hardest:

Only 11 percent of Big Apple residents reported having more than one sex partner in the previous 12 months, according to a report released yesterday.

That left 89 percent in the “faithful” or “not getting any” categories.

And only 5 percent of married couples or those in a relationship reported cheating during the last year. Seven percent of men said they had multiple sex partners, while 3 percent of women reported extra-marital activity.

Posted: June 25th, 2008 | Filed under: Citywide, Survey Says!/La Encuesta Dice!

Sure, The Cubs Are In First And The Red Sox Are 5 Games In Front Of The Yankees But For The Time Being At Least, The Mets Are Still Outpacing The Nationals

Less quality than Boston, DC or Chicago but still far and away above Baghdad:

New York City is losing ground to other cities around the world according to a new annual ranking based on quality of living standards.

The city came in 49th place in the survey conducted by a global consulting and investment firm, Mercer, dropping from 48th in 2007 and 46th in 2006.

Zurich was listed as the international city with the highest quality of living, followed by Vienna, Geneva, and Vancouver. The top-ranking American city is Honolulu, which came in at 28th place, followed by San Francisco, in 29th place. Boston is ranked 37th, and Chicago and Washington, D.C., tied for 44th place.

Baghdad was listed as the city with the lowest quality of living.

Posted: June 11th, 2008 | Filed under: Insert Muted Trumpet's Sad Wah-Wah Here, Survey Says!/La Encuesta Dice!
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