Man In Foolish Top Hat Adjusts Monocle, Shrugs

Good thing they’re all a bunch of illiterate black squirrels or more of them would have seen this cartoon in the New Yorker:

The New Yorker magazine is catching flak for publishing a cartoon that angry New Yorkers are calling a Polish joke.

The drawing by veteran cartoonist Bob Weber appeared in the Feb. 19 issue of the magazine and depicts two kids chatting at a bus stop with the caption, “My parents named me Zbigniew because they were drunk.”

Zbigniew is a traditional Polish name.

In the predominantly Polish neighborhood of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, some residents who had seen the cartoon were shocked.

“I’m assuming the person who drew this hates Polish people,” said Anna Doda, a music store owner who has been in the U.S. for 20 years.

“The people from different nations, they drink, they get drugs; so why did they make the joke about Polish people?”

. . .

The New Yorker sent a form response to readers who complained via e-mail, apologizing and claiming “the tacit assumption . . . is that the child is not of Polish origin.” The e-mail said the intended joke was that Zbigniew is an unusual name.

That was the explanation New Yorker editor David Remnick gave the Daily News.

“The heart of the joke is the difficulty in saying the name; there’s no ethnic slur,” he said, but when asked if the cartoon would have been published if it had featured an Asian or African name, Remnick responded, “I don’t know.”

Remnick should have explained that it was actually a deft jab at national security policy under President Carter. And that probably would have made more sense than obfuscating “tacit assumptions” . . .

Irish Need Not Parade

The MTA will keep the Irish out of Manhattan for St. Patrick’s Day as the 7 train will be shut down for six consecutive weekends starting this weekend:

Starting Feb. 10 and continuing for the following six weekends, the No. 7 will be largely shut down as Transit Authority crews do signal and track work, officials said.

The first weekend there will be no trains between Times Square and Queensboro Plaza. After that, there will be no trains from 74th St./Broadway in Queens to Times Square.

TA spokesman Paul Fleuranges said the work is part of the agency’s long-term plan for maintenance and upgrades, including replacing tracks, signals and rickety trains.

“Without these investments, the system would not be near as reliable as it is today,” he said. “With this investment comes a price, and that is disruptions in normal service. For that we apologize.”

Michael Murphy, 28, a public relations executive from Queens, couldn’t believe that TA would schedule such work for St. Patrick’s Day, which falls on a Saturday this year, when so many New Yorkers will be heading to the parade.

“This is completely outrageous,” he said. “Many people will miss the parade because of the boneheads at the MTA.”

You’re Tired!

Picking low-hanging Donald fruit is a time-honored tradition in New York media:

Since last month, more than 1,000 students and staff at Chelsea Career and Technical High School have had to choose between sweating in overheated classrooms or opening their windows to the constant pounding of a pile driver and the smell of diesel fumes.

These disturbances are from the construction site across the street, in what will become the Trump Soho Condominium Hotel at 246 Spring St.

Post To Big Apple Eateries: “Keep The Change”

One day after a Post exclusive uncovers evidence of the automatic tip, the Post gets all sanctimoniously third person about it and reveals further infractions:

Here’s a tip for Big Apple eateries — stop fleecing clueless tourists and New Yorkers who know better with illegal gratuities on their checks.

A day after The Post reported that SoHo restaurant Aquagrill tacked the tip on a French-born New Yorker’s check because “foreigners don’t tip,” more steaming customers recounted similar tales of horror.

Jill Davis, 43, is as American as a double Whopper, but that didn’t stop one Hell’s Kitchen pub from “gratting” her — the industry term for slapping a gratuity onto the bill.

Davis stopped at Smith’s Bar for a quick burger this past summer, and was stuck with a 15 percent gratuity on her $10 bill.

“I said, what the hell is this?” she recalled. “[The waiter] said, ‘Well, we have to make up for all of the Europeans that don’t tip.'”

. . .

[Department of Consumer Affairs] rules state that restaurants can only add a 15 percent tip to parties of eight if it’s clearly explained on the menu.

In fact, most restaurants — where it’s routine for parties of six or more to be charged 18 percent gratuity — seemed unaware of the rule.

“I’m going to change [our policy] to what Consumer Affairs says,” said Mitchell Rosen, the manager of City Crab.

Currently, the eatery charges 20 percent gratuity to parties of five or more — but he said those days are over after he read The Post’s article Tuesday.

One Times Square restaurant manager admitted that she’s stuck the tip on some hapless tourists’ table for two.

“I would only do it if I knew for certain that they weren’t from here,” said the proprietress.

“You never know if you’re going to make money,” said Ana Reisner, a bartender at Tracy J’s in Gramercy Park, but doesn’t add gratuities onto parties even if they’re easy marks.

Waitress Beate Keiser, 24, said she’s adept at spotting non-natives. “I’m just trying to pay my rent,” the Union Square Heartland Brewery server said.

“If I see someone who can barely speak English and has maps all over the table, I’ll add the tip.”

Also: for your edification, courtesy the waiter.

Aren’t There Only Like 191 Countries To Begin With?

177 countries still owe New York City money for unpaid parking tickets:

Four years after the city and the State Department finalized a historic deal to crack down on diplomat parking scofflaws, the city is still owed $18 million from deadbeat countries.

Leading the pack is Egypt, which owes $1.9 million. But it’s not alone — 177 countries have yet to pay up.

. . .

The State Department has had the right to yank the plates of any car with three or more outstanding tickets since 2002. It was unclear whether the government has exercised that option, but the city Finance Department said the threat of removal has been a powerful tool in getting diplomats to pay up.