Spent Ten Years In Long Island City And Neither CVS Nor Gristedes’ Felt Any Pity . . . We Carried Groceries From Everywhere! The Bodega’s Prices, They Were Never Fair!

Only in New York will thousands of “settlers” “homestead” a “neighborhood” years before even basic infrastructure needs are met:

The settlers of a neighborhood called Queens West do not exactly have to plow the earth for their sustenance, but they do have to lug their groceries in from Manhattan or Brooklyn, often on crowded subway cars. Many just buy their groceries online.

There is no supermarket in Queens West, the name used by real estate agents and residents of this luxury community rising in the borough’s Hunters Point section, and the selection at nearby convenience stores is limited and pricey.

So in an oft-repeated daily ritual, a white truck stamped with a FreshDirect logo arrives at the doorstep of a high-rise building. A deliveryman hops out to unload box upon box of veggies, cold cuts, cereal and more. The truck is then off to the next multimillion-dollar high-rise.

This fading industrial sector may be experiencing a renewed vitality because of its perch across the East River from Midtown, but its renaissance is at a quirky phase: The influx of residents is outpacing the goods and services that make a neighborhood. It is a car without an engine, a cup of ramen noodles awaiting a splash of hot water.

FreshDirect, the online grocery delivery company whose headquarters are near Queens West, has therefore become essential since it began service to the community in August 2005. But the community’s point-and-click culture faces a drastic — and for some, welcome — change early next year.

Rockrose Development Corporation, one of the major developers in the area, recently signed an agreement with the Amish Market to open a 21,000-square-foot store on the ground floor of one of its buildings. The supermarket, along with a Duane Reade drugstore, is expected to open early next year, signs that Queens West could be maturing from a settlement to a community.

Crotch Grabbing And Sexual Innuendo To Be Replaced By . . . Crotch Grabbing And Sexual Innuendo!

As Lady Macbeth might say, “Unsex me here”:

A production of Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” will replace a hip-hop festival next summer in a DUMBO venue controlled by the Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy — and organizers of the rap show believe that race played a role.

The Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival — which brought thousands of people and big-name rappers to the park-and-condo waterfront development site in 2006 and 2007 — had already scheduled its 2008 production for the weekend of June 22.

But organizers were shocked last month to discover that the Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy had given those days to St. Ann’s Warehouse to stage a Polish rendition of that Scottish play.

Festival organizers believe the move was racially motivated.

“Hip hop brings a lot more brown people to this neighborhood, and people who live here are not comfortable with it,” said Wes Jackson, whose Room Service Production founded the festival in 2005.

“[People have told me that residents say], ‘The festival should be in Commodore Barry Park between the projects and the BQE, not next to my $2.5-million condo.'”

Whether racially motivated or not, the rejection of the hip-hop festival sounds very much like the scenario long imagined by critics of Brooklyn Bridge Park, where condo and commercial development will finance greenspace along a 1.3-mile stretch from DUMBO to the foot of Atlantic Avenue. Opponents believe that public events will not be public at all, but subject to the whims of the wealthy condo-dwellers whose maintenance fees will pay for the park’s upkeep.

“Cultural Contribution” Is Rather Subjective, Isn’t It?

More pining for the bad old days:

It opened in 1916 as a vaudeville theater called the Ideal and closed a few weeks ago as the Playpen, a seedy porno emporium on the ragged rim of Times Square. It now faces the wrecking ball despite a last-minute attempt to rescue it.

With few theaters dating from the early 20th century still in existence, one of Gotham’s oldest “shouldn’t be sacrificed for the sake of progress,” said Michael Perlman, a self-appointed preservationist who wants to keep the building’s Beaux Art facade — with its curved central arch, pilasters, statues and other ornate features — by incorporating it into a new building, or moving it to another location.

This is a “culturally and architecturally significant structure, and we hope to preserve this gem for future generations,” he said.

. . .

. . . [T]here appears little or no chance of [saving] the Playpen, which was doomed when partners headed by Tishman Realty Corp. acquired the property on 8th Avenue at 44th Street in July, reportedly for a new high-rise building. The group said Thursday it was “currently exploring development options.”

Unlike other historic theaters in the area that have been saved and renovated, the Playpen was never given official landmark status that would prevent its being destroyed.

“We gave it the old college try,” said Anna Levin, who chairs the local community board’s land use committee. “This was looked at three times but we were completely rebuffed by the City Planning Commission.”

The city’s Landmarks Preservation Commission also studied the issue and decided the building “did not meet three necessary criteria — architectural features, history and cultural contributions to the city,” said the agency’s spokeswoman, Lisi DeBourbon.

Earlier: Landmarks Body Considers Topless Bar — remember, three and it’s a trend!

The Last “Nail” In The Coffin For Many Property And Business Owners In Jamaica . . .

Then again, Dan Doctoroff’s big reshape-the-untamed-city-like-Robert-Moses moment was always really more about getting rid of those pesky downmarket nail salons*:

The City Council overwhelmingly passed the largest rezoning in New York City’s history Monday, voting to radically reshape Jamaica in eastern Queens.

The 368-block plan, which spans across four councilmembers’ districts, allows for hotels and office towers in downtown Jamaica, permits six-story buildings along Hillside Avenue and restricts development in some residential areas.

“To have the biggest rezoning in the history of the city not be in Manhattan but be in Queens sends an important message,” said Council Speaker Christine Quinn, a major backer, along with Mayor Michael Bloomberg, of the new rules.

. . .

Supporters of the rezoning hope to transform Jamaica into a transportation and retail hub, taking advantage of its close proximity to the AirTrain and the Long Island Rail Road.

The neighborhood was once the city’s fourth largest shopping district, but has been transformed during the past three decades into vacant strip malls, discount stores, and nail salons.

*Or are nail salons not entrepreneurial enough for you?

Zone, Zone, Zone Those Residences Fast!

An elegy for the Balloon Water Race Game. Long live the Balloon Water Race Game:

Astroland completed another season yesterday, but its flashy neon lights may never again brighten the boardwalk.

Last November, Carol and Jerome Albert, whose family has owned Astroland since it opened in 1962, sold the property for an undisclosed price to a developer, Thor Equities. The developer plans to erect a new park, hotel, restaurants and time-share units on 10 acres of land between West 10th and West 15th Streets and south of Surf Avenue in the Brooklyn neighborhood; Astroland occupies about one-third of that area.

The Cyclone, the wooden roller coaster, which is part of Astroland, has been an official city landmark since 1988 and therefore is not in danger of being destroyed for the project.

The project could be completed by 2011, but it cannot start until the city approves a zoning change, a process that is likely to be long and hotly contested, since many local residents are opposed to the construction of tall, high-density structures at the beachfront spot. Most of the area is now zoned for entertainment use.

City officials have also voiced concern about the proposal. Janel Patterson, a spokeswoman for the city’s Economic Development Corporation, said in an interview that “high-density residential is not appropriate for the core entertainment or amusement district.”

“The main goal of the rezoning would be to expand and improve the amusement district, while maintaining Coney Island’s iconic and unique nature,” Ms. Patterson added.

Ms. Albert said that her family paid $170,000 to lease the land this season, which began in April, and that they hoped to lease it again in 2008, but said that the developer wanted $3 million this time, a price she calls “way beyond what we could afford.”

“I don’t understand why they’re asking for so much, since there seems to be no reason in the rational world not to keep us there another year if they can’t do anything with the property until the zoning is changed,” Ms. Albert said. “We’re hoping for an 11th-hour change of heart, but as each day passes, our hopes grow dimmer.”

Posters taped to ticket booths and poles issued a plea to the developer: “Give Us One More Year.”

A spokesman for Thor Equities, Stefan Friedman, said: “Thor remains in negotiation to extend Astroland’s lease,” adding that “no matter the outcome of this negotiation, Thor is totally committed to having amusement and games in the neighborhood for years to come.”

Location Scout: Coney Island Amusement Core.