In New York — Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of! — There’s Nothing You Can’t Do, Now You’re In New York!

That magical key that the Daily News revealed opens every subway gate in the system apparently also opens EMS stations across the city:

The key also opens 14 of the city’s 35 Emergency Medical Service stations — potentially exposing them to thieves looking for equipment and controlled drugs such as morphine, a union leader warned.

And then there’s Gramercy Park . . .

This Makes My Dolphin Tattoo That Much More Badass

I didn’t know there were dolphins in the East River, much less Newtown Creek:

Dolphins may be among the smartest mammals in the animal kingdom, but how exactly did one end up in Newtown Creek?

Location Scout: Newtown Creek.

Maybe Health Care Reform Isn’t Such A Bad Idea After All

Which looks worse, Eli pimping plagued Toyota cars or Eli bilking St. Vincent’s as it nears bankruptcy? Tough call:

Giant quarterback Eli Manning got a lousy reception yesterday for a secret marketing deal with cash-strapped St. Vincent’s Medical Center that paid him at least $500,000 over the last three years.

After inquiries by The Post Sunday, Manning and the Greenwich Village hospital said they had canceled a $1 million pact that would have paid him $200,000 a year through 2014.

But as late as last December, Manning’s agent requested a $125,000 payment from St. Vincent’s that was months overdue, sources said.

The tardy check was finally sent to Manning’s firm, PWL Inc.

Location Scout: St. Vincent’s Hospital Manhattan.

Greatest Joyride Ever!

Who would want to steal a Greyhound bus? More like Who wouldn’t want to steal a Greyhound bus:

Cops recovered an abandoned Greyhound in Queens Wednesday that had been swiped from one of the bus line’s lots on Sunday.

“Who would want to steal a Greyhound?” asked Jose Martinez, 42, a worker at an East Elmhurst deli where the $75,000 bus was found. “It’s not like you can sell it or hide easily.”

Technology Rules!

Over half a billion dollars to prevent municipal waste . . . uh, yeah:

When development of CityTime began in 1998, officials promised it would use new-age hand scanners and other technology to eliminate abuse of employee timecards by thousands of workers.

The system has instead turned into an uncontrolled gravy train for high-paid consultants and a boondoggle for taxpayers.

CityTime “has a long history of extraordinary increases, rising from $68 million to $722 million over 10 years,” Liu’s director of contract administration, John Goddard, wrote on Feb. 9 in notifying Bloomberg aides of his rejection of the new contract for Spherion Inc.