Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep A Gun In The House

Tell me why — again — people think it’s OK to have dogs in apartments, because I really don’t get it:

The Marders had Nestlé’s vocal cords cut by a veterinary surgeon after a neighbor in the family’s apartment building on the Upper East Side threatened to complain to the co-op board about the noisy dog.

Maybe Someone Can Help Us Understand . . .

As the Governor announces that a $700 million deficit is now $8.2 billion (how exactly did that just sneak up on everyone?) and the MTA announces that they’re actually $400 million short of what they need for this year, the mayor is donning a hardhat to build his big one stop on the 7 train. Totally fucking unbelievable:

Mayor Bloomberg said he hopes the $2.1 billion subway extension — funded by city taxpayer money — will lead to a spate of economic development on Manhattan’s West Side.

If the mayor cared a little less about shit he can put his name on and more about fixing potholes or, god forbid, keeping the city’s budget balanced (or doing his part to ensure the financial well being of the state) maybe he’d really be a leader. But until then he’s just like the rest of the glory-hogging politicians that have come and gone and done their part to make living in New York really fucking onerous.

Modernize New York!

Please, please quit being such morons:

Two state lawmakers at opposite ends of the political spectrum united to bar a controversial proposal by Gov. David Paterson to permit the sale of wine in grocery stores, bodegas, delis, mini-marts and gas stations statewide.

Controversial? Only in New York, kids . . .

I’m Sure There’s A Perfectly Reasonable Explanation For This

Right? Right:

An imam with the city Department of Correction was busted trying to smuggle razors and a pair of scissors into the Tombs on Wednesday morning, sources said.

Giant Experiment Has No Appreciable Benefits Beyond Creating Awesome Spot From Which To Take Pictures For Family Christmas Cards

The city finds that traffic around Times Square doesn’t really move any faster or easier now that a five-block-long stretch of Broadway has been turned into a pedestrian mall:

The city is keeping its data under tight lock and key. But two officials briefed on the data characterized the results as disappointing, and one said that traffic flow did not meet the department’s goals. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the data had not been made public.

Those goals were outlined in February, when the program was announced. The city hoped that its changes would allow drivers to travel down Seventh Avenue, from 59th to 23rd Street, up to 17 percent faster than before. A comparable northbound trip up Avenue of the Americas was expected to take up to 37 percent less time. The idea, according to Mr. Bloomberg, was that eliminating the congestion where Broadway crosses the two avenues would smooth the way for cars, allowing them to spend less time at stoplights.

. . .

The stakes are high for the city’s transportation commissioner, Janette Sadik-Khan, who has gained worldwide attention for the plan. Ms. Sadik-Khan has taken an aggressive approach toward remaking the New York streetscape to roll back the car-centric policies stemming from the Robert Moses era and create a metropolis more friendly to pedestrians and bicycles. Her actions have earned her accolades and anger in equal measure.

Traffic data will not be the only factor in Mr. Bloomberg’s assessment of whether to continue the program, which barred vehicular traffic from Broadway between 47th and 42nd Streets, and from 35th Street to 33rd Street, creating pedestrian plazas through the heart of Times and Herald Squares. Besides the extension of green lights to expedite traffic flow, other small modifications to lanes and the street grid were made and furniture was set up to accommodate tired and hungry tourists.

Grand schemes seldom seem to provide the results politicians promise — especially flashy schemes rolled out six months before an election. So when in doubt, back down:

“Does it solve all of the problems in the city?” he added. “No.”

In other words, what do you think we’re going to do with all that new lawn furniture?

Location Scout: Times Square Pedestrian Mall.