Andrew Berman Has Blood On His Hands

It’s funny — it wasn’t so long ago that when St. Vincent’s Hospital was talking about expanding, people in Greenwich Village seemed to question the appropriateness of having a hospital like that in the neighborhood. Now that the hospital may close, people can’t think of what life would be like without it:

So far, the hospital, which is $700 million in debt and in danger of bankruptcy, has not found a partner. Continuum Health Partners, a consortium of hospitals in Brooklyn and Manhattan, had offered to take over its outpatient facilities, but then withdrew that offer, in part because of community opposition to Continuum’s plan to shut down most emergency room functions and to send 911 ambulance calls to other hospitals.

Where to get more money was a major topic of Friday’s meeting, which was attended by the City Council speaker, Christine C. Quinn; Assemblyman Richard N. Gottfried; and representatives of the hospital workers’ union, Local 1199 of the S.E.I.U.; the city comptroller’s office; the nurses’ association; and others, according to attendees.

Mr. Gottfried said that representatives of the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development talked about providing mortgage insurance to refinance loans. One person at the table reportedly wondered whether the Department of Homeland Security might extend money to St. Vincent’s, which played a major role in treating survivors of the Sept. 11 terrorist attack.

“There is no getting around it — the situation for St. Vincent’s Hospital is critical, and we are all extremely concerned,” Mr. Nadler said in a statement afterward. “At the moment, we are actively engaging federal agencies to provide resources.”

Location Scout: St. Vincent’s Hospital Manhattan.

Maybe The Metal Handcuffs Were Over The Top?

Don’t worry, the Board of Education has a plan:

After Alexa scribbled her name, the date and a smiley face on her desk during a Spanish class on Monday, her teacher reported her to an assistant principal, who placed a call to cops, city officials said.

The cops arrested Alexa, escorting her out of the school with her hands behind her back in metal handcuffs, Camacho said.

City Department of Education spokeswoman Margie Feinberg called the episode a mistake. “The principal made a mistake and has lifted the suspension,” she said.

. . .

The NYPD is expected this month to start using Velcro handcuffs to subdue unruly kids following a pilot program in 22 schools in northern Queens.

Ex-Cons Just Love Arts & Crafts Projects

Oh well that makes it better:

It was not clear what was more surprising initially to city officials: that one of the Department of Correction’s chaplains was accused of taking scissors and metal blades into a jail, or that the same chaplain had been convicted of murder.

Earlier: I’m Sure There’s A Perfectly Reasonable Explanation For This.

And They Say The Office Of Borough President Is A Vestigial Remnant After 1989’s Board Of Estimate Of City Of New York V. Morris Decision

If Marty Markowitz didn’t exist, we’d have to invent him:

His State of the Borough address at the Park Slope Armory Wednesday night featured singing, dancing, lights and sirens — and even Markowitz’s head photoshopped onto newly-elected Sen. Scott Brown’s naked body from a 1982 Cosmo photo spread projected onto a big screen.

A judiciously placed file folder inscribed with “Fuhgeddaboutit” left a little something to the imagination.

“I don’t need Howard Wolfson, I’ve got my strategy all figured out,” said Markowitz, suggesting the beefcake photos could help him get elected mayor in 2013.

“I have four years to get in shape,” he told the crowd of about 1,600.

. . .

There was as much singing, dancing, and noshing as there was speechifying — though there was plenty of that — Markowitz’s speech clocked in at just under an hour and 15 minutes, more than triple Queens Borough President Helen Marshall’s 20-minute address.

The Venuto Brothers belted out Italian opera; the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir sang hymns; the Brooklyn Ballet put on a modernist dance, and six-year-old Michael Jackson impersonator Ikim Whitley of East Flatbush in a top hat and pleather jacket came up on stage mid-speech to do the moonwalk.

Markowitz himself briefly got into the act, swaying hand in hand with feathered bikini and headdress-clad performers from the award-winning Sesame Flyers dance troupe, famous for their performances at the West Indian Labor Day Parade. “I’m not staring, Jamie, I’m not staring,” he promised his wife.

The borough president even whipped out a police light and jokingly pledged never again to break out the lights and sirens that got him in hot water when he was caught using them to speed in his official car to a press conference last month.

Short People Got No Reason To Live

But it’s weird — he looks so much taller on TV:

A con man trying to impersonate Paul Simon was arrested for trying to take money out of the singer’s bank account — because the teller realized the 6-foot-1 crook looked absolutely nothing like the diminutive rock legend, police sources told The Post.