“But A Blemish On An Otherwise Stellar Record”

The Community Newspaper Group — the Murdoch-owned entity that not so long ago gobbled up like half of the borough-centered weeklies — publishes its Bloomberg endorsement on all of its associated websites (the gutting of the Brooklyn Paper makes me sad):

Granted, Mayor Bloomberg’s quest for a third term has not been the prettiest thing to watch. First, the billionaire mayor, a former Democrat, renounced his Republican Party affiliation during a flirtation with the presidency in 2008 as an independent.

Then, when faced with the obstacle of New York City’s two-term limit, he spent a considerable sum of money to overturn the inconvenient law.

For many voters, that disqualifies Bloomberg from further service.

But for us, it is but a blemish on an otherwise stellar record.

You have to like that way of putting it — “but a blemish on an otherwise stellar record.” Let’s skip the lamely obvious parallels, but I want to try this on because it might be fun. So Clinton’s perjury was “but a blemish on an otherwise stellar record,” as was Nixon’s obstruction of justice. In this way, Robert MacNamara’s technocratic plunge into Vietnam was also “but a blemish on an otherwise stellar record,” and half of Hollywood apparently believes that Roman Polanski’s indiscretion with a child was similarly “but a blemish on an otherwise stellar record.” When you put things that way — “but a blemish”! — everything sounds OK. I like it.

Only In New York, Kids, Only In New York

The Queens Courier continues its series on gross shit:

When The Courier was at the store, one customer wanted four roosters from the same cage. So, when the man reached in to grab the four birds, one fell to the floor and started walking around the store.

“That happens sometimes,” Ustav said, and no one else in the store seemed to flinch. Then, the birds are tied up and dropped on a scale, which will determine how much it costs.

After that, the birds are brought back to the “slaughter room” — a room located in the back of the store on the first floor — where the killing and cleaning process begins.

First, the bird’s neck is cut and broken in order to drain the blood out of the animal. Then, the bird is thrown into a “plucking” machine that takes all of the feathers off the bird.

“Then we have to clean up the inside and take the guts out,” Ustav said. “Sometimes we cut off the head, but some people like it with the head.”

See also: Live Poultry Markets.

But We’ll Always Have That 60-Foot-High HD Screen In The Outfield . . .

The Yankees broke attendance records last year. This year, not so much:

With decreased capacity and a small percentage of extremely high ticket prices, the Yankees totaled just seven sellouts in the first year of their new stadium and experienced a 13% drop in attendance in 2009.

Location Scout: New Yankee Stadium.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Of course it’s just the Queens Gazette, but with all the talk about how the NYPD may have actually bungled the FBI’s recent terror bust, I kind of can’t believe the Gazette’s “editorial board” is arguing what they’re arguing:

Three weeks ago, suspects with ties to terrorist groups abroad were arrested here and in Denver, Colorado. The investigation that led to the arrests continues as we speak. Those arrests and the ongoing investigation that continues to ensure New York City’s ranking as the safest big city in America are due in large part to the efforts of the man the Gazette endorses for a third term as the city’s chief executive. Mayor Michael Bloomberg took office on Jan. 1, 2002, and for the last seven years has made the counter-terrorism measures of the New York City Police Department at home and abroad of equally high priority to police street and index crime eradication efforts.

Maybe it’s meant to be an ironic endorsement.

“Progress Not Politics” Is Merely Shorthand For “You Are All Just Yahoos Who Must Be Saved From Yourselves”

Tom Robbins details the chronology of the mayor’s Tonkin Gulfing of the democratic system*:

[M]any months before economic disaster struck in September 2008 — the crisis that Bloomberg said prompted his reversal on term limits — the mayor was already pondering the move.

You know, the Seal of the City of New York has the words “Sigillum Civitatis Novi Eboraci” on it. “Sigillum Civitatis Novi Eboraci” just means “Seal of the City of New York” — in other words, grandiose Latin bullshit. Why not change it to “Progressio Non Politics”? It’s got a nice ring to it — like “Ordem e Progresso,” “Gangseong Daeguk,” “Patria y Libertad” or “Allah Is Great.”

*Don’t forget how piqued the mayor became at Azi Paybarah’s “disgraceful” questioning about the state of the economy and the rationale for a third term.