You May Not Ever Participate In “Brunch,” You May Even Hate It, But Brooklyn Without Brunch Is An Existential Threat To Its Way Of Life

Brooklyn Community Board 1’s War on Brunch has moved away from bluster and toward imminent conflict:

Department of Consumer Affairs regulators issued a citation to the Lorimer Street bistro Lokal at 9:35 am for violating a little-known rule that bars eateries from operating sidewalk cafes before noon on Sundays.

. . .

The summons is a victory for CB1’s public safety general Tom Burrows, who vowed to shush noisy restaurants and move diners indoors by campaigning against restaurants that serve mimosas, bellinis, and french toast to sidewalk crowds on what some consider a day of rest.

Quotas To Go On Trial

Via a class-action lawsuit with a potentially enormous pool of plaintiffs:

Under the ruling by Manhattan federal judge Robert Sweet, those eligible to join the suit include everyone whose summonses were dismissed “upon a judicial finding of facial insufficiency and who were ticketed without probable cause” since May 25, 2007.

With any luck, this will happen just in time for, ugh, Ray Kelly’s mayoral run.

A Double Decker Of Weird

I don’t know which is more disturbing, that this man proposed to his girlfriend on a Megabus or that he did it on Hitler’s Birthday/Anniversary of Columbine Massacre/420 Day:

When [the woman] boarded the Megabus at the Port Authority, she had no idea what her boyfriend was up to. With family and friends on board, [the man] dropped to one knee and popped the question.

Thankfully, [she] said yes or it could have been an awkward trip.

If You’re Losing “Hundreds Of Dollars” On A Stupid Carnival Game Then You Deserve All The Lazer Tag You Can Possibly Tolerate

Interesting reframing of the charms of old Coney Island:

The city is finally cleaning up a longtime seedy strip near the Coney Island boardwalk that had been filled with rigged carnival games and ripped off beachgoers for years.

. . .

Upon receiving various complaints late last year, the city cleared out the old-school carnival games — including one booth called “Gangster Cigars” that was caught ripping customers off on a hidden camera by Arnold Diaz of Fox NY’s “Shame on You.”

Patrons would routinely lose hundreds of dollars trying to toss a rigged ping-pong ball through a hole to win a flat-screen TV.

One Day Community Boards Will Finally Stupid Themselves Out Of A Job

If there’s one that that people in Brooklyn love, it’s brunch. And nothing shows how totally fucking out of touch a community board is like cracking down on brunch:

A Williamsburg neighborhood group is waging a war on brunch — pressuring restaurants in one of the city’s mimosa-strongholds to open later, hush their patrons, and keep their diners inside.

Community Board 1 members want the city to enforce a little-known rule prohibiting restaurants from serving diners at outdoor sidewalk cafes on Sunday mornings.

“This would keep the sidewalks open for Sunday morning walks to church,” said Community Board 1 public safety chairman Tom Burrows. “Lokal, Enid’s, and Five Leaves consistently open their sidewalk cafe hours before noon on Sundays.”

If you’re bothered by people on the sidewalk, then New York City is kind of the wrong place for you . . .