If You Had Only Asked, I Would Have Told You

Remember when people — some of whom you believed to be very intelligent, perhaps — liked to ask-say during the 2009 election something along the lines of “Well, who else could possibly do the job of mayor?” as if to imply that he was the only one capable of doing it? That sense of municipal entitlement was just a tease:

“I always assumed that it would come out, but it’s not my responsibility to spread a story,” Bloomberg said, before carrying on with his holiday weekend at the Hampton Classic horse show in Bridgehampton.

How Gentrification Sounds

“‘I’m your friend, I’m not your enemy, but you’ve got to leave.'”

Although As Crimes Go, Domestic Violence Is Bad Enough, The Coverup Is Clearly Worse

Isn’t a domestic violence charge against an aide the thing that finally did in Governor Paterson? I can’t remember — and besides, the political establishment was ready to use any pretext to prevent Paterson from running. Bloomberg’s case may be worse, seeing that they were intent on covering it up not to investigators but rather the entire city; one is witness tampering while the other moves into the realm of a wholesale fraud against history. You see a highly disturbing example of Bloombergian hubris in the way he did nothing to dissuade everyone from believing it was all about the snowstorm and the mayor’s own superior managerial instincts rather than just a tacky deal to allow Goldsmith to resign on his own terms.

How do you know they’re being squirrely? The Thursday afternoon before Labor Day weekend isn’t a bad time to let bad news squeak out:

Furious city officials yesterday blasted Mayor Bloomberg for hiding former Deputy Mayor Stephen Goldsmith’s ugly secret — that he resigned because he’d been busted for allegedly attacking his wife in their luxurious Washington home.

But instead of coming clean on why he had kept his mouth shut last month, Bloomberg ran for cover, spending the day ducking reporters who wanted to ask about The Post’s bombshell revelation that Goldsmith was done in by his temper, not by his poor performance during the Christmas blizzard.

Last night, Bloomberg abruptly canceled an event on the Circle Line with a German-American friendship group, where an organizer announced the mayor would be absent because of an “emergency.”

As behaviorists will tell you, if you allow a child to disrespect you, he will quickly start falling into some very bad patterns.

What If You’re The One Who Gave A Drug Front A Four-Star Review On Yelp?

Would you question what you wrote on the listing? Would you start to question your foodie bona fides? Remember, if you ever think that you might be in a drug front, you’re probably in a drug front. Key tipoffs should include inattentive waitstaff, inconsistent food, the large group of menacing-looking men sitting over there the back and of course the expansive and perhaps overly generous delivery area.

Then there are the more obvious clues . . . for example, the weapons cache, as the Queens D.A. press release details (.pdf):

As part of the investigation, officers executed five court-authorized search warrants and recovered four firearms, including a defaced Colt .38 caliber revolver; a defaced sawed off Mosburg shotgun; a .380 Sig Sauer semi-automatic and a Remington 870 shotgun with a scope. Also seized were more than a kilo of cocaine; 777 glassines of heroin (more than one ounce) and two ounces of marijuana; as well as $3,520.

That’s Why You Always Have To Go For The Maclaren Techno XLR . . .

. . . it has the most storage space:

Authorities say a Manhattan drug dealer stashed heroin in his baby girl’s stroller.