Things Not Worth One One-Millionth Of Mental Space Include . . .

. . . Smurf Week, especially if we’re talking about anyone remotely involved in municipal government:

City officials announced on Wednesday that next week would be Smurfs Week in New York City and that the Smurfs had been chosen as this year’s Get More NYC family ambassadors.

. . .

Although there will also be Smurfs Week events in the Bronx and Brooklyn, there will be none in Staten Island or Queens, according to a map posted on NYC & Company’s Web site. That omission was deemed “distressing” by Dan Andrews, a spokesman for the Queens borough president, Helen Marshall.

When Ms. Marshall was notified, she lapsed into a bit of verse, saying: “Though only three apples high,/ the Smurfs have left us high and dry./ The animators drew,/ created a movie that almost seems true,/ but have left us all blue.”

Don’t borough presidents have more important things to think about? Oh wait . . .

But Soon This Will All Be Over, And Perhaps They’ll Even Rename The M15 Bus For Him

“‘Hanging out with a billionaire does bad things to your brain,’ a source said. ‘It makes you think you’re right.'”

Plan First, Ask Questions About How To Pay For It Later

I’m surprised they even got this far:

A build Williamsburg’s largest waterfront park has stalled — perhaps permanently — because the city doesn’t have the cash to buy the land.

City officials dropped a bombshell on community leaders last Thursday, revealing that they had no money and no timetable to buy several private properties off Kent Avenue and N. 11th Street surrounding the 28-acre Bushwick Inlet site.

Infuriated community leaders accused Mayor Bloomberg of revoking the city’s long-standing agreement to build parks at the edge of the East River in exchange for rezoning most of the waterfront for luxury high-rises in 2005.

Maybe they should have just called it a “pilot project”.

Location Scout: Bushwick Inlet Park, Citistorage Records Center.

One Family With A Two-Family Problem

I still don’t get the fascination with dogs, but I guess that says something about me:

[A man] and his wife [. . .] have sued [the man’s] younger sibling [. . .], seeking a court-ordered sale of their jointly-owned house because [the younger sibling’s] two pooches are allegedly defecating all around the property.

And Guess Which One Grub Street Will Feature Sometime Later Today

On the one hand, there is Nutcracker:

“They are poppin’. They get you sauced,” said Shaquel, a 15-year-old who declined to give his last name.

Then there’s bootleg rice wine in Chinatown:

“Don’t underestimate this alcohol,” cautioned a winemaker in Chinatown, who would give only his surname, Zhu. “You’ll get drunk.”