Kevin Bress, the senior director of Track Infrastructure and Maintenance Support Training for N.Y.C.T., said, the other day, at the agency’s headquarters, at 2 Broadway. The class, he explained, takes eight hours and is mandatory for anyone working on N.Y.C.T. property. Of the curriculum, he said, “The main theme of the class is teaching people how not to get hit by a train.”

Lupo continued, “[Nicolas] Cage was especially interested in the third rail. He had this big thing about the mystical power of electricity.”

Some 8,000 to 10,000 honeybees had surreptitiously moved into the neighborhood sometime in the past month and managed to build a giant hive in a tree between 80th and 81st streets without anyone noticing.

This bees got loose only days after a swarm of amateur beekeepers buzzed around City Hall in support of a bill to legalize their hobby.

“As chairman of the City Council’s Committee on Cultural Affairs, I would like to express my thanks, for the impact they’ve had on their respective fields and the cultural community at large, as well as offer my prayers to their families, their friends and their legions of fans.”

Mayor Bloomberg accused the deadlocked Senate of trying to “destroy” the city’s school system — and said weakening mayoral control would be like reviving the Soviet Union.

“What [the senators] are doing is just saying to the parents, the students and the future of our city — ‘We’re going to destroy you.’ That’s the only possible explanation.”

“Agents are acting in order to maximize revenue to fill the city coffers, rather than doing their job correctly, which is to ensure turnover to help small businesses,” the letter read. “We, along with the business owners, want traffic agents to perform their job of enforcing the traffic laws to ensure turnover so that parking spots are made available. Unfortunately, the only way to describe the situation on New Dorp Lane — where tickets are handed out within seconds of a meter expiring — is harassment, pure and simple, the letter read.