Come See Our Shiny New $1.1 Million Bathroom!

I know a $1.1 million bathroom is like a $400 ashtray, but it’s still a $1.1 million bathroom:

To make our own ceremonial first flush, The Brooklyn Papers sent its top cub reporter to seek comfort in the so-called “comfort station.” After a brief campaign of shock and awe, he declared it a mission accomplished.

Refurbished with a wheelchair ramp and a ventilation system that keeps the air warm and fresh on a cold day, this is one state-of-the-art outhouse.

The structure’s stately brick gives it a Colonial feel, and the natural glow from the skylight adds a nice modern touch.

In fact, it’s such a pleasant comfort station that visitors have been known to seek a lot of comfort. One man, for example, stayed in one of the two stalls for roughly 45 minutes (yes, it’s that clean a bathroom).

He finally came out with a strong endorsement.

“It’s beautiful in there,” he said. “Thank God.”

No, thank City Councilman Vince Gentile (D-Bay Ridge), who pushed the Parks Department to finally finish the $1.1-million project after two years of contractor bungling.

All of which serves as a useful reminder to the Parks Department PR machine that some things are better left unpimped.

300 Jobs And Several Crazy Welsh Engineers Later, Red Hook Is Booming

How was the first season of cruise ships docking at Red Hook go? Pretty good, I’d say:

Even if the terminal hasn’t transformed Red Hook into a gleaming tourist attraction, there have been some small victories, local say.

“We got a crowd of crazy Welsh engineers every nine days when the Crown Princess [another ship that calls Brooklyn home] came in,” said Audrey Reynolds, a bartender at the Bait and Tackle bar, one block from the terminal.

“They drink a lot and get super-messed up, but it’s good for the bar.”

And to think that people were worried!

Kenyan Finds Diplomatic Immunity Less Robust Than Expected

Apparently there are some limits to diplomatic immunity:

An international custody battle is brewing over the children of a Kenyan diplomat who was arrested for allegedly beating his 9-year-old son at their Queens home.

Fred Matwanga’s diplomatic immunity has saved him from any criminal charges in the abuse case so far — but it didn’t stop officials from the city’s child-welfare agency from taking custody of his children over the weekend.

Sources yesterday said agents from the city’s Administration for Children’s Services put the injured boy and his little sister in a protective home while officials sort out abuse issues involving their father.

And ACS officials are set to meet with the New York City Office of the United Nations this morning to plot their next move — asking Kenya to waive immunity for Matwanga, the second secretary of its mission to the world body, a well-placed source said last night.

If the African country agrees, local authorities would then proceed with prosecuting Matwanga.

But if Kenya refuses to waive immunity for Matwanga, city officials will ask the U.S. State Department to boot him from the country, the source said.

. . .

Matwanga was busted Saturday night after allegedly beating his son on the head with a wooden stick in their home in South Ozone Park. Cops said the diplomat, 38, was also chasing the boy through the house with a knife.

The frightened child fled his home with a bloodied head shortly after 6 p.m. and tried to take refuge with a neighbor.

“My father’s trying to kill us,” the boy said, according to the neighbor, Cindy Raghu, 23.

Despite his desperate pleas, Raghu’s mother was so frightened that she shut the door, leaving the boy to fend for himself, Cindy Raghu said. The child then ran and hid behind some recycling bins in an alley next to the Raghus’ house.

Pun-nable Headline? Check. Quirky Topic? Check. New York Institution? Check. (Front Page Metro!)

At least headline writers refrained from using variations of “in a pickle” or some such:

Mr. Leibowitz, who declined to be interviewed, fired the opening salvo of what fast became a nasty pickle war in February, when he sent a letter to Ms. Fairhurst, ordering her to stop using the Guss’s Pickles name. Ms. Fairhurst responded with a lawsuit filed in October, claiming she had ownership rights.

Not only has the lawsuit pitted pickler against pickler, it has also thrown into question the future of a Lower East Side institution as revered as Russ & Daughters food store and Katz’s Delicatessen. It has torn historic pickle alliances asunder. And it has devastated the surviving daughters of Izzy Guss, the original storied pickler supposedly known as the “Botticelli of Brine.”

“After my father passed away, what we sold was our name. That name was gold,” said Marilyn Guss Altman. “To think that all of this stuff is going on is breaking my heart.”

Who owns the name now? Now that is a real pickle.

Agh! It slipped in there anyway!

Shea And The Citi

Who was William A. Shea anyway?* Now it doesn’t matter:

Citigroup Inc. will put its name on the Mets’ new stadium in a deal reportedly worth $20 million a year, sources close to the negotiations said yesterday.

“CitiField” — as the new ballpark will be called — is scheduled to be ready by the 2009 season and will be located right next to the old Shea in Flushing.

The Mets plan a groundbreaking ceremony on Monday and sources told Bloomberg News they will officially reveal the new name then.

. . .

Bloomberg News reported that Citigroup — the nation’s biggest bank — may be paying as much as $20 million a year for the honor of gracing the 2006 National League Eastern Division champs’ new stomping grounds.

. . .

The stadium’s new name was first reported on the Internet blog hotfoot.metsblog.com, where a reader wrote that his father was working on the new ballpark and noticed a sign at the construction site that read, “CitiField: Coming in 2009.”

*It’s never too late to learn!