At Least They Didn’t Call It “Mark’s Law”

I would hate to be remembered this way:

The City Council has revived a proposal to buy special “jumbo” ambulances for the morbidly obese, officials told The Post.

The idea for the ambulances — which can easily transport people over 500 pounds — has languished in the council for years, but now lawmakers plan to hold a hearing on the issue on Tuesday.

It was spurred by the plight of labor leader, 420-pound Mark Rosenthal, who suffered a stroke in 2003.

The District Council 37 representative was forced to lie strapped on an ambulance floor, because the stretcher couldn’t fit him.

“We have to ensure that no one has to ride on the floor of an ambulance again; we would not stand for it for any protected group,” said Councilman James Sanders Jr. (D-Queens), the bill’s sponsor.

. . .

A spokesman for American Medical Response said the company developed its “bariatric” ambulance because the demand was growing.

The vehicle costs about $50,000 more than their average, $75,000-$100,000 ambulances.

“Generally the use of the vehicles are prearranged,” said Eric Berthel, spokesman for the company. “We have placed them in our larger markets and we were among the first to recognize the need for this kind of service.”

Rosenthal said the ambulances would prove to be cost-effective for the city and could come in handy for transporting multiple people in a catastrophic event.

“There is a use for them,” he said. “The only difference is they are lion-size.”

Domino’s In Brooklyn? Fuhgeddaboudit

You needed the Dining Section to tell you that Domino’s new “Brooklyn Style Pizza” tastes like dookie? Apparently:

At Totonno’s in Coney Island, pizza has been made the same way since 1924. Along with its Brooklyn pizza brethren Di Fara’s, Grimaldi’s and Franny’s, Totonno’s is considered among the best in the country by people who have dedicated their lives to the subject.

We purchased our Domino’s pie just a few blocks away from Totonno’s on Neptune Avenue. That it was handed to us over bulletproof glass turned out to be the most authentically Brooklyn part about it.

Domino’s, which began selling Brooklyn Style pies at its 5,100 United States stores last week, designed the pizza to mimic what most New Yorkers get when they go for a slice. The crust is stretched thinner than that of a standard Domino’s pizza, and the cornmeal cooked into the crust gives it certain crispness. The pieces of pepperoni and wads of sausage the company suggests as toppings are freakishly large.

The slices are so big you can fold them, which, it seems, is the Brooklyn-y part.

. . .

Domino’s uses its standard sauce and a blend of mozzarella and provolone on the Brooklyn Style Pizza. At most slice stores in Brooklyn, you won’t find cornmeal on the crust, and the cheese is usually a blend of shredded part skim and whole milk mozzarella. The typical sauce is usually not as sweet as Domino’s, but it doesn’t compare with Totonno’s.

Brooklyn boosters seem to have a thin skin* about Domino’s new pizza, resorting to trotting out old tropes about the company:

As part of the marketing of [Brooklyn pizza eating] culture, Domino’s has started a couple of contests. One is a drawing for a vintage New York taxi, even though everyone knows it’s almost impossible to hail a cab in Brooklyn.

The rest of the marketing blitz rests on television ads and on a Web site, www.brooklynstylepizza.com, which features characters purchased at the Brooklyn Stereotype Store.

An older Italian woman yells out of a brownstone window. A man with the look of an extra from “The Sopranos” pumps iron on the roof. A Rosie O’Donnell lookalike berates a taxi driver for not folding his slice like a man. And there’s an African-American guy. You can’t hear what he’s saying because the rap music pouring from his car speakers is too loud.

That kind of imagery just grinds at Marty Markowitz, the Brooklyn borough president.

“It’s a multinational right-wing company, mass marketing the Brooklyn attitude with obsolete ethnic stereotypes, not to mention flimsy crusts,” he said through a spokesman.

*In this respect, Brooklynites still lag behind Staten Islanders, who are still upset about their recent MTV exposure.

This Story Has Been Reported In Every Major Daily And Weekly And No One Else Took It There . . . Until Now

That the most disgusting headline of the week — no, month — no, year — addresses an equally repulsive topic (off-leash animals) is no excuse. “Passions Unleashed, Doggy Style”:

The escalating battle over the Parks Department’s unofficial policy of allowing dogs off leash in some city parks between the hours of 9 p.m. and 9 a.m. had an official hearing last week.

The Board of Health heard testimony from both sides last Wednesday in Manhattan. A decision by the Board of Health to allow the Parks Department’s unofficial policy would pave the way for Parks to make its unofficial off-leash hours entirely legal.

Currently, the Board of Health requires that dogs be on a leash at all times when in public, but city law also give the Parks Commissioner the power to enact regulations that function as law within city parks, and for 20 years they have allowed dogs to run off their leash for the aforementioned 12 hours, as long as the park is legally open.

Recently, amid growing clamor about the policy, Parks asked the Board of Health to revisit and clarify their own regulations. The hearing was held to gather input on a proposal to allow the unofficial Parks policy, as long as owner could prove that their dogs are licensed and vaccinated. If the Board of Health okays the proposal, Parks would have to do the same and hold their own hearings, but it is unlikely they would shoot down their own rule.

“This unofficial policy has existed for 20 years and there has never been a problem, and I don’t think there is going to be a problem,” predicted Bob Marino, president of NYCdog, who testified last week in favor of allowing dogs off-leash at certain times.

The debate over the unofficial policy has come to a head recently, culminating with a lawsuit filed by the Juniper Park Civic Association (JPCA), testing legally the Parks Department’s authority to set policy. The judge has put that case on hold pending a decision by the Board of Health.

PG-13 Alternate Headline: “Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum Might Have Called It ‘Man On Dog'”

The World Can’t Get Enough Baked Dough

Today Forest Hills, tomorrow the world:

Knish Nosh has been a trademark of Forest Hills since 1952. Located at 100-30 Queens Boulevard at 67th Road, New York residents, out-of-towners, and native celebrities have sampled its timeless, century-old recipes in a cozy establishment with personable staff, and an aroma that not only goes out the door, but a taste that stimulates the mind. Now in its 55th year, Knish Nosh redefines itself as it expands to accommodate a new wave of foods that will be a perfect complement to the knish, or a novelty alone.

On an average day, Knish Nosh sells 4,000 knishes, and takes pride in promoting a healthy diet with its old school home-cooked meals.

“We serve a ‘feel good kind of food’ that’s inexpensive, all natural with no preservatives, and kosher,” says owner Haig Schneiderman, who lives on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. “The oil we use for our hand-rolled knishes contains no trans-fats or cholesterol. It’s Jewish soul food for all.”

. . .

When [Schneiderman] was 15, he asked, “Why is there only one Knish Nosh establishment?” He envisioned taking it over someday, and wondered what it would be like. On February 7, 2003, Haig’s dream became a reality.

“I occasionally hear ‘my mom used to take me here.’ People everywhere get connected because of eating knishes,” he said.

The community thanked him, especially since many classic neighborhood establishments have recently closed their doors. “Many people say that Forest Hills starts and ends with Knish Nosh,” said Schneiderman. “At the time, I said ‘Knish Nosh is going strong. I plan on bringing it to the next level, so it will be better than ever.’ I embraced the opportunity!”

. . .

Schneiderman considered franchising, but received over 400 calls within a short period of time. He then felt it was best to exclusively own any future restaurants, and keep it within the family-operated tradition. Speaking of the future, he stated, “In two decades from now, I see Knish Nosh in every major city throughout the U.S., like that of Dunkin’ Donuts. It will be throughout Florida, the east and west coast, and at ski resorts and kiosks countrywide.”

Schneiderman has already begun to fulfill his mission by opening a kiosk in Central park at the Harlem Meer near 5th Avenue and 106th Street, and another in Flushing Meadows Corona Park overlooking Meadow Lake. The latter has 40 seats, and is situated on the grounds of the 1939 and 1964 World’s Fair with views of the Unisphere. The first out-of-state Knish Nosh is scheduled to open in November in Delray Beach, Florida. Schneiderman plans to add an additional seven to ten restaurants over the next two years.

Money Shot

If you’ve ever wondered what preparation takes place to produce the apartment porn you see on Craig’s List and real estate agents’ websites, now you know:

I’m no photographic genius, but to my mind you can only get so creative with a square box; unless, of course, you have an accomplice who is willing to let you sit on their shoulders for some aerial views. I always feel a little silly standing in a furnished apartment with 10 other brokers while we shuffle around and try to stay out of each other’s frames. Even a sliver of some anonymous agent in the background is like a black flag on the otherwise perfect shot of light streaming through the windows. You want to capture it clean, and it’s no easy task with all of the commotion.

So, you are busy at work, perusing the New York Times for your next apartment, making dozens of phone calls and getting the same result, “It was just rented but I have . . .” Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, 15 rental agents are running through your current apartment (none of them wiped their feet) snapping away at your bathroom. You really should have taken your delicates to the dry cleaners instead of hanging them on the shower rod, because in two days those, too, will appear everywhere online. While I’m on the subject, you three guys using the towels as curtains could have at least put the bong away. We can always shoot around the dirty dishes.

With thousands of listings now available online and a fair amount of them almost accurate and reasonably current, agents are forced to get more and more creative with their apartment ads. Use of the wide angle lens for the illusion of greater square footage is one standard tactic, while others have now employed companies like Gotham Photo for a more polished and professional look (although this is more often the case in the sales market). Rental agents aren’t normally willing to spring for fancy pictures on an open listing that some other joker may just as easily rent with only a blurry snapshot of the building.