The Million Tree Mafia Always Gets Its Way

And there’s nothing you can do to stop them:

“Don’t worry, they won’t put another tree there,” a very nice city official assured her.

With that pledge, Smith had the pit paved over at her own expense. She was understandably surprised to see a small bulldozer with a pavement-busting attachment take up position there Friday morning.

“What are you doing?” Smith inquired from her front door.

“We’re putting in a tree,” the man in charge said.

“I didn’t ask for a tree,” Smith said. “I told them I didn’t want a tree there. Put it somewhere else.”

“This is going here,” the man said.

“I don’t want a tree there!” Smith exclaimed. “Who’s going to rake the leaves?”

A particularly good-hearted neighbor, Nancy Cardozo, approached and attempted to intervene.

“She doesn’t want a tree,” Cardozo noted.

“Sorry, I have the contract and I have a big payroll,” the man replied. “I have to put the tree there.”

The man’s tone remained remarkably amiable, even though Cardozo positioned herself in a way that might impede the work.

“You can have the tree moved later,” he offered.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense just to put it where we want it?” Cardozo inquired.

“No, this is what I have to do,” he said.

Cardozo dialed 311 from her cell phone. An operator informed her the city owns the sidewalk and has the right to put a tree there.

“Who’s responsible if somebody slips on the leaves?” Cardozo inquired.

“The homeowner,” the operator replied.

The operator then connected Cardozo to somebody in the Parks Department who did not answer. Cardozo left a message that would not get a reply.

Meanwhile, the man in charge was on his own cell phone to the Parks Department forestry office. He handed his phone to Cardozo.

“The tree’s going in,” an instantly nasty forestry guy told Cardozo. “There’s nothing she can do about it.”

Cardozo inquired if perhaps the work could be suspended until Smith spoke to the city.

“Do you want me to send the police and have you arrested?” the forestry guy responded.

“No, thank you, but I would like you to give me your name,” Cardozo said.

“I need you to move,” the forestry guy said.

“I need you to tell me your name,” Cardozo insisted.

“You’ll find out my name soon enough,” the forestry guy said.