Proposed Brooklyn Bridge Park To Include World’s Stupidest Game?

Sadly, Gersh Kuntzman probably doesn’t realize that it’s probably just an artist’s rendering and not a real plan:

You think I’m joking? You think my affection for tetherball is just a writerly conceit, something to fill a column during the loathsome winter months between the Jets’ playoff loss and the Mets’ home opener?

No, the Brooklyn Angle is truly tetherball’s last great champion. When I saw the latest renderings of the park, my spirit soared like it did whenever I slammed a ball past Kenny “Gimpy” Kramer in fourth grade.

I had to find the person responsible for restoring tetherball to its rightful place in the pantheon of sport. Given the greatness of this game, I figured people would be falling all over each other (which is a foot-fault in tetherball, as you know) to take credit for getting landscape architect Michael Van Valkenburgh to add tetherball to the park’s offerings.

Not Really Biting The Hand That Feeds You So Much As Jumping Over The Counter And Shooting It Off

Despite how they make it sound, Bedford-Stuyvesant really is a tight-knit neighborhood:

There are video cameras watching the counter all the time. The monitors are wrapped in clear plastic to keep them clean. Most of the other Chinese restaurants nearby also have thick plexiglass shields between the cashier and the customer, like a gas station or a liquor store, but not Happy House. Longtime customers, presumably the very people who would be the most offended by beefed-up security, tell [Gigi] Wong they need more.

“They need, like, a partition here with a window,” said a matronly woman who gave only her first name, Lorna. “People are stupid. They always kill the ones that help them.”

To Ms. Wong, she said, “If that was you they shot, I would have cried.”

So new was the cashier that, after the shooting, no one in the Wong family seemed to know her full name, only her last name, Lin. Before the shooting, when Gigi Wong had tried to speak to her at work, they would be constantly interrupted by customers.

And the kicker:

The man, Raymond Wiliams, 21, was identified on the security video tape as the gunman leaping over the counter, according to a criminal complaint filed in court. The police are looking for another man who may have been involved, the complaint says.

Mr. Williams has been charged with attempted murder, assault, menacing and harassment, and remained in jail as of yesterday. He admitted he leaped over the counter and fired two shots, according to the complaint.

Ms. Wong did not recognize his name.

But she was stunned to learn of his address, 210 Stuyvesant Avenue, right around the corner from the restaurant.

“We deliver to that address,” she said. “Every single day.”

Robbing a Chinese takeout is not particularly smart. Robbing your neighborhood Chinese takeout . . . nice.

One Day Later . . .

The good thing, if you’re a graffiti writer looking for attention, is to get a newspaper article written about your craft. The bad thing is that you attract too much attention:

The graffiti artist with the notable tag “Backfat” was nabbed Tuesday evening — the same day the Daily News highlighted his prolific scrawlings.

Charles Abarno, 21, was arrested in front of the 72nd Precinct stationhouse and accused of spraying his tag all over buildings, storefronts and awnings in Windsor Terrace and Kensington, just blocks from his home.

He was charged with two counts each of criminal mischief and scrawling graffiti on a public library and a commercial establishment, police said. If convicted, he faces up to four years in jail.

Local residents were delighted, as was City Councilman Bill de Blasio, who represents the area.

“I am extremely pleased he has been caught,” de Blasio said. “Now we need to make sure the appropriate punishment is given.”

Fallen Angel

Arthur Wood plans to raise the money to preserve the code violation/sculptural element atop his Clinton Hill building by working with developers to turn the property into condos:

Broken angel will soar again, even higher than before, provided Brooklyn’s real estate prices stay in the stratosphere.

Artist Arthur Wood has cut a deal to save his eccentric Clinton Hill creation — one that envisions condos under a rebuilt rooftop sculpture.

“It will be taller, more majestic. We may even light it up at night, and it will be nicer,” Wood, 75, said yesterday.

He rejected offers of as much as $1.8 million that would have destroyed the 108-foot building in favor of one that will preserve it, he said.

He may even lose money, depending on how the condos sell, he added.

“It was tempting to take the money and leave, but I couldn’t do that,” Wood said. “The building is a living entity, and I wasn’t about to abandon it.”

Local developer Shahn Andersen agreed Saturday to buy a 50% stake in the structure, financing the rebuilding of Wood’s creation with potential profits from condos.

“I told Arthur that even if he wasn’t going to partner with me, he needed to do whatever it was going to take to save Broken Angel,” Andersen said.

Chris Wood, Arthur’s son, said his family’s first preference had not been condos — which he called “the nasty C-word” — but rather to create a museum. However, no benefactor had stepped forward.

The deal will allow Wood to meet the city’s deadlines to demolish the parts of Broken Angel that pose a fire hazard, Andersen said, estimating that resurrecting Broken Angel will cost a few million dollars.

(Don’t believe their lies!)

Coming Soon: “Muffin Top”

Fortunately we have this important story to establish an agreed-upon definition for “backfat”:

The graffiti tag “Backfat” — ranging in size from a few inches to a few feet wide — has been popping up on buildings, storefronts, awnings, even between subway tracks, all over Windsor Terrace and Kensington.

. . .

“Backfat” is a colloquial term for the rolls of extra weight that bulge along the edges of a too-tight or ill-fitting bra.

A city official who is familiar with the situation said the law is hot on the tagger’s heels.

“The police are on Backfat’s trail. It is being thoroughly investigated and we are coming close to finding him,” the source said.