The Man May Have Lost His Leg But He Sure Didn’t Lose His Sense Of Humor

The guy whose legs were lopped off by the Health Department isn’t mad or anything. Sort of:

“I’ve always wanted my photo in an ad all over the city, but I was hoping it would be for a TV show or something, not — this,” [the actor from Los Angeles] said.

He even offered to represent the health department’s archenemy, possibly for less than his usual rate. He said if a soda company “would like to call me so we can do a commercial, I’ll sing and dance for them and I won’t charge an arm and a leg.”

Great Optics! Let’s Skip The Details . . .

I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time:

Occupy Wall Street protesters announced with great fanfare last month that they moved a homeless family into a “foreclosed” Brooklyn home — even though they knew the house belonged to a struggling single father desperately trying to renegotiate his mortgage, The Post has learned.

. . .

[The father] even attended the Dec. 6 press conference at the house when the [homeless family was] introduced. He wanted to tell reporters his story.

“[OWS] told me not to talk to them [reporters] because they [OWS] had an offer for me,” he said.

At a second meeting after the press conference, however, organizers said they would not pay him for the house. At that point, he told them to leave.

Inside the house the walls are knocked down and all of his belongings, including a stove, refrigerator and bedroom furniture, have been moved to the basement.

“I’m pissed off,” he said.

“I’m trying to get my house back, and they’re trying to take it from me.”

The NICU Is Closed For A Private Event

The problem with New York isn’t so much that celebrities and rich people get special treatment but rather that the service sector money-grubs, whores itself and indulges celebrities and rich people:

[A new father], 38, of Brooklyn said the stress of his wife delivering two premature girls was tripled by Beyoncé’s bodyguards treating Lenox Hill Hospital like an exclusive nightclub.

[The father] griped that he’s been repeatedly barred from the sixth-floor neonatal intensive care unit, once for 20 minutes, by the superstar couple’s private security.

He said bodyguards wearing headsets even cleared the sixth floor waiting room, booting his relatives out.

“Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) and it happened once on Friday — just because they wanted to use the hallway,” said [the father].

In The End, What’s A $60 Ticket Worth To You?

Here’s what happens when a retired police officer tries to get his 91-year-old aunt’s Sanitation ticket dismissed. I think David Lynch could make a movie about it; think “Straight Story II; Fighting The Law.”

In short, the Sanitation Department gave his aunt a ticket for not having lids on her trash cans. The problem was that she didn’t use trash cans. A bizarre journey to prove the non-existence of something that never existed ensues:

“I had to get letters from the neighbors attesting to the fact that my aunt never has garbage cans in front of her house. I had to take pictures of the house to show that there weren’t any cans there,” [the man] said.

. . .

More instructions followed. La Torre was told to obtain letters of support from Community Board 10 and from local elected officials.

The Mad Rush To Fulfill End-Of-Year “Productivity Goals”

Which is to say, apparently there is still ample opportunity to meet one’s ticket quota:

[A Staten Island good Samaritan] and the [person he was helping] stopped outside [the man’s] St. Marks Place apartment and asked a traffic agent if they could leave the truck there for a few mintues, explaining they were unloading donated supplies. They said she assured them it was fine.

“I run in the door; that same woman runs to my car, tickets it and then runs down the street,” [the good Samaritan] said.