Stunning Views Of Architectural Marvels Like 55 Water Street Will Make You Feel Like The King Of The World

It’s not so weird that a condo in Brooklyn now costs $7.2 million — New York real estate long ago ceased to make sense. That said, it does seem strange to pay that much for a view of 55 Water Street:

It’s Brooklyn as you’ve never seen it and probably never will — unless you’ve got $7.25 million to spare for what is about to become the borough’s priciest condo.

The flagship penthouse unit at 1 Brooklyn Bridge Park, along the Brooklyn Heights waterfront, will consist of a 4,638-square-foot triplex with breathtaking, 360-degree views of the Manhattan and Brooklyn skylines from inside a state-planned public park.

But only those with the deepest pockets need apply. The price tag for the luxury pad is nearly double that of the current record sales figure for a Brooklyn condo: $3.8 million shelled out for a penthouse at the Aurora in Williamsburg in January.

“It will even have a private elevator that goes up to a rooftop terrace so you really feel like ‘king of the world,'” boasted Robert Levine, developer of the complex, which launched sales last week.

Levine’s “sky house” will feature seven rooms, four bathrooms and state-of-the-art appliances, as well as access to luxury amenities off-limits to park visitors.

It’s Not So Much A Question, “Where Is The Life?” As It Is A Raison D’Etre: Where Is The Life!

Philippe Starck’s new project on East 23rd Street has a little of everything.

First, the pretense:

Renowned, eccentric and energetic French designer Philippe Starck whirled into luxury real estate marketer Michael Shvo’s breakfast event yesterday to show off his latest city design. Called “Gramercy,” the 21-story glass tower will be erected on East 23rd Street, between First and Second avenues, by next year.

New Yorkers don’t generally associate the bustling street with the stately and chic private Gramercy Park, located between East 20th and 21st streets, but Shvo said the name was chosen “to associate it with the closest attraction.” But, he added, “It’s no question this building will be the new landmark of the neighborhood.”

Then the theoretical deliciousness:

For the tenants, Starck said, the building “will be an island of intelligence, poetry, vision, humor, tenderness, respect, even sophistication and elegance.”

Real estate developers usually don’t care about these concepts, Starck said. They care about making cheap buildings.

“Between the greedy real estate guy and the theory of real estate, where is the life?” he asked. “Where is the respect?”

Which finally becomes our collective desire to submit to architecture:

“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or Freud to see what type of family you are,” Starck said. “You choose it yourself. . . . I don’t design your apartment, but I help you to know what you are.”

Show me. I swear I’m not afraid.

Vanderbilt Baron Or Porn Publisher, This Is How We Roll — Smooth, Like Ice Cubes In White Zin, A Character Written By Edith Wharton

If you believe that New York was founded on naked commerce and smut and crudely fashioned by the tasteless nouveau riche then there’s something gently reassuring about the fact that the largest private residence in Manhattan was once owned by Bob Guccione and is now being pimped by Corcoran in the newspaper:

. . . [T]he $59 million upper East Side mansion once owned by fallen porn king Robert Guccione was advertised with a full-color, four-page insert in The New York Times yesterday.

The Penthouse magazine founder lost the home a year ago to creditors picking over the remains of his business empire. But after a year on the market, the sprawling townhouse remains unsold.

So the broker, the Corcoran Group, is reaching out to potential buyers — “from royalty to hedge funds,” said the company’s Lisa Simonsen — with a brochure that looks as high-toned and classy as Penthouse wasn’t.

“Instead of diamonds this year . . .” reads the cover line under a photo of the mansion’s 9-foot-deep swimming pool, which sits in a room decorated with European friezes and statues.

Other photos show the Carrara marble staircase, terraced gardens and an ornately carved fireplace mantel from the 20,000-square-foot home, reputed to be Manhattan’s largest private residence.

The property, on E. 67th St. near Madison Ave., traces its history to a six-story mansion built in 1879. That was combined with a neighboring building in the 1920s to make a rare double-wide townhouse with 25 rooms. Guccione renovated it extensively, if gaudily — think gold-plated bathroom fixtures.

The original asking price was $99,999,999, but Corcoran has knocked it down to $59 million. That’s still higher than the $53 million record set last fall for an E. 75th St. townhouse — but Corcoran says the price is negotiable.

“We’re open to dialogue,” Simonsen said.

Property taxes run an eye-popping $283,672 a year, and the upkeep is astronomical.

All The Most Important Buildings In New York Are Boring

The most expensive buildings in New York are all about location (and location and location) — just not the locations you’d think. It turns out that real estate people like being close to Metro-North trains:

Most of [the most expensive] buildings, if sold today, would eclipse the $1.8 billion record that 666 Fifth Avenue set when it closed in January. . . . Most of these buildings are near Grand Central Terminal. Others are either on or just off Fifth Avenue, and one is located downtown. According to those interviewed, Rockefeller Center would, all together, sell for more than $8 billion, and the G.M. Building by itself would clear $4 billion.

Which is to say, architectural gems like 200, 245 and 277 Park Avenue (don’t worry if you don’t recognize those addresses) are the big draws for real estaters:

Hey, what about those other icons piercing the sky? Why didn’t the Empire State Building or the Chrysler Building — or even the Woolworth Building — make the list of New York’s priciest?

Well, real-estate people aren’t aesthetes.

Something that New Yorkers regard as an engineering disaster — the MetLife Building girdling Grand Central Terminal, for instance — can be, for real-estate people, the gold standard for office towers. Why? A building like MetLife was designed specifically with bloated rent checks in mind, while the Woolworth Building’s tiny floor plates certainly were not. And higher rents mean higher sales prices.

The Empire State Building has its own issues, like a decades-long battle to attract tenants. It’s been the butt of jokes among real-estate brokers. (The Empty State Building! Ha!)

Sure, You Could Say That You’d Like To See The Whole Market Come Crashing And Burning Down To The Ground But That Wouldn’t Be Prudential (Douglas Elliman) Of You

When you put it this way, would an unmitigated real estate collapse really be so bad? I’m not kidding:

In the past decade, the price of the average Manhattan apartment has surged by nearly $1 million, a threefold increase to $1.3 million, a new report says.

The report, an analysis of Manhattan apartment sales by Miller Samuel, an appraisal company, and Prudential Douglas Elliman, a real estate firm, illustrates the seemingly endless increase in housing prices over the past 10 years, especially between 2000 and 2005. Despite the financial slowdown after the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, and a national cooling of the housing market, Manhattan has attained levels that may have been considered unfathomable 10 years ago.

“Three-hundred dollars a foot 10 years ago was the number — that was the Manhattan number,” an author of the report, Jonathan Miller, said. In 2006, the average price per square foot of a condo or a co-op was $1,031 — the first time the price had reached that high, and a 214% increase over 1997.

Both the average and median sales prices have increased by more than 200%, with the average Manhattan apartment selling for $1.3 million last year, compared with $431,000 10 years ago.