A Theory That’s As Good As Dead (New Jersey Ain’t The Whole World)

The latest best guess about the Big Stink is completely unsatisfying:

Based on our familiarity with the local aquatic environment and regional meteorology, we believe that the odor was caused by gases released from saltwater marshes in the metropolitan area.

Let us explain. The intertidal sediments in this region are home to micro-organisms that produce sulfur compounds. When these sediments interact with saltwater that contains low levels of oxygen, gases are released. These gases include hydrogen sulfide and a variety of thiols (like the gas additives thiophane and mercaptan) — all of which have an odor similar to rotten eggs.

While the release of these gases from marsh sediments occurs more or less continually, we suggest that something out of the ordinary occurred on Jan. 8.

First, there was a low tide in the coastal marshes from roughly 4 a.m. to 6 a.m. Second, we experienced winds from the south and an atmospheric inversion, which created something like a low-lying bubble of air.

The result of the two factors? The low tide exposed the marsh sediments and hastened the release of sulfur gases into the atmosphere. The inversion trapped the odor close to the ground and the southerly winds then carried it to Lower Manhattan, where it remained until atmospheric conditions changed.

No NASCAR But Deer Hunting Takes Hold On Staten Island

The borough of parks becomes the borough of wild game:

Wanna-be hunters have been spotted bringing rifles, guns and bows into Clay Pit Ponds State Park Preserve to hunt — illegally — for the deer that have in recent years established themselves in the Charleston park and elsewhere on the South and West shores.

“It’s chaotic,” said Cherryl Mitchell, who owns the Richer Farms horse stable on Sharrotts Road. Mrs. Mitchell said she has witnessed several people “trotting through the woods” with hunting equipment and lights and fears that one of her horses, or neighbors, will be shot by accident.

“They all think they’re great white hunters. You’re going to have one of these [expletive] put a bullet through one of our houses.”

Hunting is illegal within the five boroughs. Anyone caught by state Department of Environmental Conservation police faces a $2,000 fine and/or up to one year in jail, said DEC spokeswoman Lori O’Connell.

. . .

The recent surge in Staten Island’s deer population has some Staten Islanders, fascinated with the sport, opting to stay local.

Mrs. Mitchell is not amused.

Besides the danger to neighbors, she said, the borough should not be considered a hunting attraction.

“The point is, if you’re a hunter, what’s your great accomplishment hunting on Staten Island?” she said.

A Newer, Much More Invasive Clam Settles On Staten Island

“Invasive clam species” just sounds terrifying:

An invasive clam species has been discovered near Brook’s Pond in Clove Lakes Park — the first documented spotting of the small Asian shellfish within the five boroughs.

About 40 golden-colored Corbicula fluminea — which eat the same plankton as native clams, small fish and baby turtles, potentially threatening their food supply — were found last month by College of Staten Island biology professor Dr. Albert Burchsted.

Because each clam is capable of breeding up to 400 clams per day when the water is warm, the population could quickly swell into the thousands this summer, he said.

“These clams suck all the nutritive organisms out of the water column,” Burchsted said, adding that it’s only a matter of time before the “explosive” breeders take over the pond — and likely show up in other ponds and lakes on Staten Island.

Burchsted said the clams — which according to the American Museum of Natural History has until now been found in this region only on Long Island, upstate and in the Raritan River in New Jersey — were likely transported here as they stuck to the feet of birds which had been to the bodies of water where the clams breed. They also could have been used as bait by fishermen, who disposed of them in the pond.

Varying from dime-size to the size of a silver dollar, the Asian clams were introduced into the Columbia River, near Knappton, Wash., in 1938, possibly as a food item, according to Museum of Natural History records. (The clams are commonly used as food in some Asian cultures). The Asian clam, which can now be found in nearly 40 states, likely reached New York state sometime before 1997, according to the museum.

. . .

The Parks Department is aware that the clam exists in Brook’s Pond; however, there are no plans to attempt to remove them. Eradicating the clam would involve dredging every square inch of silt in the pond, which would be impossible, Burchsted said.

Real Life Terry Malloy Fights For His Right To Enjoy Wildlife

But “wildlife” is obviously in the eye of the beholder:

David Casciello, 39, who has lived on Huntington Ave. in Schuylerville his whole life, has turned his narrow yard into an outdoor aviary, filling feeders that attract hundreds of pigeons, sparrows, finches and even monk parakeets.

“I’ve always had a life-long interest in wildlife and in birds,” Casciello, who cares for his elderly parents full-time, said as he tossed a peanut to a squirrel scurrying at his feet. “The sparrows are my favorite.”

But some neighbors see Casciello’s passion as a major nuisance and health hazard, and they are trying to enlist city officials to stop the feeding frenzy.

“This wacko is a pigeon freak,” grumbled Joe McDermott, 68. “He’s got to be told to take the pigeons to the park or someplace where they don’t do damage to anybody.”

McDermott said he had to close his swimming pool because of bird droppings. He blames his dog’s fleas on the birds.

Other neighbors say the avian visitors make their children sick. They also have to spend hours cleaning bird droppings off their cars and roofs.

Other neighbors seem to have an ulterior motive:

“You could probably eat these birds, that’s how clean they are,” said Alan Roman, 35, a general contractor. “It was sad to see these people gang up on him the way they are. The guy, all he does is care for his birds and make sure everything is clean.”

Two Terms You Wouldn’t Expect To Find In Proximity To One Another Are “Brooklyn” And “Wildlife Poachers” But There They Are

Poachers are stealing Brooklyn’s wild parrots:

Who is bird-napping Brooklyn’s wild monk parrots?

The many who dislike the colorful birds might not care — but Max Ovadia of Midwood does.

Ovadia believes parrot poachers have been loose in the Brooklyn wild late at night.

“We heard them squawking,” he said. “At night, that’s not normal.”

Around midnight one day last month, Ovadia said, he saw a man with a huge net on a 25-foot pole. Accompanied by two teenagers, the suspected poacher even had pole extensions to reach high nests, he said.

The trapping of wild animals, including monk parrots, is illegal without a license.

Ovadia said he scared off the poachers twice, but the nests the parrots called home are now empty. “Only sparrows are going in there,” he said.

. . .

The story of Brooklyn’s monk parrots has come full circle. Native to South America, the first birds were trapped to be brought north as pets.

But many of the original birds were either let loose by pet owners who no longer wanted them or, as legend has it, escaped from a broken container at Kennedy airport in the 1970s.

Large colonies of the birds now live on the walled Brooklyn College campus and Green-Wood Cemetery, where they are protected.

Not all borough residents are thrilled. Homeowners have complained the birds are loud and dirty.