Can’t You Just Extort Bon Jovi Again? Doesn’t Paul Simon Want To Make Another Live Album?

Of all the stupid things you can do when you volunteer, picking up trash at the park seems like one of the stupidest:

With record crowds anticipated this summer as many New Yorkers stay home to save money, the Central Park Conservancy had to devise an emergency plan to ensure the grass stays green and clean.

For the first time, park volunteers — who traditionally help with less menial tasks — will be given trash grabbers and garbage bags, conservancy President Doug Blonsky said yesterday.

As a result of budget cuts, the conservancy — which manages the park for the city — has already laid off some employees and cannot afford to hire the extra 50 seasonal workers normally depended on to pick up the trash, he said.

. . .

“The bottom line is we’re asking New Yorkers to pitch in and pick up the litter for us,” Blonsky told The Post. “In the past, our volunteers have focused on horticulture and planning, but now we need help with the litter.”

At several locations throughout the park, volunteers can sign up to help with the upkeep.

“You’ll get a bag and a grabber, and a little vest to wear,” Blonsky said.

A Brand New Season, A Brand New Stadium And A Really, Really, Really Obstructed View

New Yankee Stadium is the best of the old and the new:

With a concrete wall turning much of right field into a mystery, Picone and McNevin were far from thrilled with their seats [in Section 239, one of two blocks of seats, along with Section 201, that flank the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar in center field, leaving a heavily obstructed view of the outfield with regular season ticket prices of $5]. “But for that price,” Picone said, “it was definitely worth it to be here.”

They were helped out by three televisions bolted to the wall of the sports bar that showed a live feed of the game, though many fans said a few extra screens would have been appreciated, particularly in the glare of the sun. Still, they could make out enough of Jorge Posada’s long drive to know it was a home run once it disappeared from their own view of the game.

For the fans in the bleachers who did not have ticket plans, the afternoon was more expensive. Earlier this week, tickets for Sections 239 and 201 were selling for over $200 on StubHub, without the sellers’ necessarily mentioning that the view was obstructed. Though the Yankees had previously recognized that these seats were not ideal and lowered the price for them, independent marketplaces like StubHub and eBay leave it up to the sellers to disclose whether or not a view is obstructed.

That is how a visibly upset Adrian Rea, a Yankee fan from Binghamton, N.Y., wound up spending $1,200 for four tickets in Section 201. Rea had no idea that he would not be able to see right field.

“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have bought them,” he said. “I would have even paid more if I could have had seats that weren’t obstructed.”

Sitting in the row in front of Rea, Scott Placona, 26, jumped in. He had bought his ticket for $250 from a scalper 10 minutes before the game and insisted that it was worth every penny — just to be able to tell his grandchildren he was at the first regular-season game at the new Yankee Stadium. What did it matter that he couldn’t see left field?

Location Scout: New Yankee Stadium.

Mets Fans Arrive 10 Hours Early For First Pitch . . .

. . . facilitating extra web exclusive in advance of tonight’s Citi Field opener:

Mets fans waited all winter to rid themselves of last season’s bitter collapse and catch a glimpse of their team’s new home at Citi Field, so one would expect crowds to get to the ballpark early for Monday night’s home opener.

But, 10 hours before the first pitch?

. . .

The father and son made the trip from Yorktown Heights, NY, early Monday morning, April 13 and arrived at the stadium at 9:30 a.m.

“We’re excited,” said Chet, shortly before noon while sitting on a bench outside Citi Field.

Buried Lede: In 2009, traffic congestion is much less severe than Bloomberg officials have led us to believe . . .

Location Scout: Citi Field.

What If You’re The Raped Passenger?

Get off the train for assistance, where helpful MTA employees will be happy to telephone the proper authorities who will be summoned to take appropriate action:

A subway conductor saw the attack from the window of his train and a station agent inside a booth at the 21st Street stop on the G line witnessed the woman screaming as she was dragged down the stairs.

The conductor Harmodio Cruz and agent John Koort called the command center to summon cops, but did nothing else.

Justice Kevin Kerrigan ruled that the workers had taken “prompt and decisive action.”

“No justice has ever been done,” [the victim] said. “The rapist was never caught.”

The victim was inside a Queens-bound G train at 2:15 a.m. on June 7, 2005, when the only other person in the car began to touch her.

When she got off at the 21st Street station in Long Island City, she tried to get away. That’s when she was raped.

Cops arrived 10 minutes later, but the attacker had escaped.

Location Scout: 21st Street-Van Alst Station.

Ground Zero Tribute Museum — Over One Million Served!!

But an exciting moment almost turned ugly when the sirens and whistles sent everyone to the floor:

An Ohio choirgirl got a big city thrill Friday when she became the 1 millionth person to visit Ground Zero’s tribute museum.

Shaique Gamble stepped over the threshold of the Liberty St. visitor center shortly after 10 a.m. and cheers rang out.

“It was kind of funny and shocking at the same time,” said the 16-year-old, who was wide-eyed but all smiles at the surprise welcome.

“I just expected to come and take a tour and then this happened.”