Cost Efficiencies Finally Fully Realized In Department Of Transportation Sign-Saving Plan

The other way to look at it is that DOT correctly anticipates demographic trends:

The shuttered St. Anthony of Padua school on Leonard Street — whose “No parking–school zone” signs are still in affect and snaring drivers even though the school has been closed for five years — will re-open this year, meaning that soon the parking tickets will at least be legit.

Holi Moly

Cops shut down the yearly Holi festival in Richmond Hill on the grounds that “you can’t have powder”:

For some 25 years, Hindus in Richmond Hill have held a parade to celebrate the ancient religious holiday Holi — the Festival of Colors. Participants traditionally throw colored powder at one another, but Sunday cops seized loads of the powder from paradegoers. “They walked around and started grabbing from anyone they saw,” said parade organizer Vishnu Mahadeo, 50, president of the Richmond Hill Economic Development Council. “They said the law said you can’t have powder.”

More detail: “Phagwah parade,” Queens Courier, March 22, 2011.

See also: “The Problem With Community Boards”.

Location Scout: Phagwah Parade.

The Cultural McNugget

It’s like Danger Mouse’s The Grey Album set to fried chicken. Or like Shepard Fairey’s preemptive suit against the Associated Press — set to fried chicken. Mash it up, derive the derivative and claim ownership over something that no one really owned in the first place:

Abdul Haye, the self-styled Colonel Sanders of New York’s Afghan community, has declared a fried chicken war.

He has armed himself with an unwritten secret recipe that he claims allows him to fry the best bird in town. His main weapon, he says, is ownership of the trademark for the Kennedy Fried Chicken brand, which has spawned hundreds of imitators as far south as Georgia, and has become to oily drumsticks what the ubiquitous Ray’s name once was to New York pizza.

That Kennedy, named after the former president, was itself a deliberate imitation of Kentucky Fried Chicken, down to those familiar initials — and that it had its own trademark battle a generation ago — seems to make little difference to Mr. Haye, 38. A wired and wiry resident of Whitestone, Queens, he began working as a chicken fryer when he was 17, soon after he immigrated in 1989, and describes his rivals with ire similar to that he reserves for the Taliban.

“I’m declaring war against all the Afghans in New York who have stolen my name and my idea,” Mr. Haye said the other day at one of his five chicken outlets, showing off the trademark certificate that the United States Patent and Trademark Office in Washington had awarded him in 2005. He waved a thick stack of some of the 300 registered letters he began to mail last week to Kennedy outlets across the country, insisting that they pay him a monthly franchise fee, or face legal action. “Their poor-quality chicken is going to kill my reputation,” Mr. Haye complained. “I am the only real Kennedy!”

The Weather In Arizona Is Beautiful This Time Of Year

And it’s a perfect time to visit Phoenix:

Weeks after a shooting left six dead and 13 injured in Tucson, New York City sent undercover investigators to an Arizona gun show and found instances in which private sellers sold semiautomatic pistols even after buyers said they probably could not pass background checks, city officials said.

We already know that NYPD officers like to go to Europe — now they’re snowbirds as well. Can’t they just outsource this to 20/20 or something? At least while the budget is what it is?

It’s 2007 Again!

Not only is congestion pricing apparently back — and after the CityTime fiasco, everyone should remain extremely skeptical about the City’s or even the State’s ability to install fancy technological doodads, especially if some sort of economic payoff is expected — but so is Carl Kruger’s bizarre anti-Walkman legislation, itself proof that the only thing stupider than stupid legislation is stupid legislation repeated:

In New York, a bill is pending in the legislature’s transportation committee that would ban the use of mobile phones, iPods or other electronic devices while crossing streets . . .

. . .

The New York bill was proposed by State Senator Carl Kruger, a Brooklyn Democrat who has grown alarmed by the amount of distraction he sees on the streets in his neighborhood and across New York City. Since September, Mr. Kruger wrote in the bill, three pedestrians have been killed and one was critically injured while crossing streets and listening to music through headphones.

“We’re taught from knee-high to look in both directions, wait, listen and then cross,” he said. “You can perform none of those functions if you are engaged in some kind of wired activity.”

. . .

As it is written, Mr. Kruger’s proposal, which was first introduced in 2007, would apply only to cities with populations of one million or more. But Mr. Kruger would like to expand the bill to cover even smaller cities. Violators would face a civil summons and a $100 fine.

“This is not government interference,” he said. “This is more like saying, ‘You’re doing something that could be detrimental to yourself and others around you.'”

Besides portending a return to the bad old days when youths put their backs out of alignment from hoisting oversized boom boxes powered by bulky D batteries numbering in the double digits, how exactly would this work? Would pedestrians have to remove earbuds before crossing a street? There are a lot of streets in Manhattan!

Of the four major casualties since September — and four in four months is clearly an epidemic — was the iPod really a significant factor or just a coincidence? You can’t ask a dead person whether the headphones made him or her not hear a vehicle.

Fortunately for us, Kruger’s bill is unlikely to see any action — the enactment rate for legislation in New York State is among the worst in the nation — hovering in the low single digits (if this Brennan Center report (.pdf) still holds. So say what you want about “Albany” — at least most of the bad ideas never even get a committee hearing . . .

I would be surprised if Carl Kruger even knew where to buy an iPod, much less know how to use one, but I’m guessing his car includes a radio — maybe we can address that danger as well?

Here’s Kruger’s press release about the proposed legislation — and I hesitate to use that phrase because like I mentioned above, since so little “proposed legislation” actually gets anywhere it makes it sound more important than it is:

In December 2010, a 21-year-old man listening to music blaring through his headphones on a Manhattan street corner was crushed by a Mack truck after he failed to hear the vehicle’s backup signal. A popular video circulating on Youtube this week showed a woman engrossed in conversation on her cell phone walking straight into a park fountain.

About that horrifying Mack truck story . . . here it is:

The truck driver, Anthony Regisford, 51, of Pennsylvania, was going north on Madison Ave. and had just passed through the intersection of E. 81st St. when he pulled into the right lane and began to move in reverse, cop said.

The truck, owned by a Brooklyn carting company, ran over King as he walked in the crosswalk, heading toward the west side of Madison Ave., where the bakery is located.

He was dragged under the truck for about 30 feet before the massive vehicle came to a stop.

Police sources said [the victim] was listening to music that likely prevented him from hearing the truck as it backed up. A mangled iPod Nano and headphones remained on the pavement, near the crosswalk, after the crash.

Yes, a man was killed after a truck drove in reverse through a crosswalk where he was walking. And yes, there was an iPod Nano at the scene. And yes, “police sources” said that the man was listening to music that “likely prevented him from hearing the truck as it backed up.” But overall aren’t you really, really skeptical that a person could be listening to anything — at any volume — that would prevent him or her from seeing or hearing a Mack truck? Did the iPod make the driver drag the young man 30 feet? And how would the police know? Again, the young man isn’t around to say.

Yet Kruger uses this as proof that we need to do something about it. Is the young man’s family on board? Can we name the bill in honor of him? Can we call a press conference about it? I’m guessing the family is not in the mood to blame their son for a truck running him over — especially when the truck that hit him was moving through a crosswalk — in reverse.

As for the fountain lady — I think they’re talking about this, right? So she was texting and she fell into a fountain — in a mall and not a park, by the way — because she wasn’t looking where she was going. Why does that mean I can’t listen to my iPod on Broadway?

Stuff like this just makes you want to slip on your Walkman and drown out the world . . .