What? I Can’t Hear You . . . I’m Drowning Out Your Totally Idiotic Idea To Get Me To Take Off My IPod When Crossing The Street

Carl Kruger, I’m sorry to say it, but you are basically an idiot:

They call it ‘iPod oblivion’ — when you’re talking on a cell phone or listening to an iPod while crossing the street.

“It can be a distraction you know but most times I stay alert . . . I’m aware of my surroundings,” iPod user John Palmer said.

But Albany thinks it’s a problem, and so Senator Carl Kruger of Brooklyn is proposing a law that if anybody uses any kind of electronic device while crossing an intersection, they may face a fine of $100 dollars.

When asked if he has ever used a cell phone crossing the street, Kruger said “absolutely.” He added, “That doesn’t make it right. If Kruger’s bill becomes law I promise I’ll adhere to it.”

Needless to say in New York City Kruger’s proposal isn’t going over well.

“I make a living on the phone . . . that’s what I do. I’m on the phone all the time,” Realtor Lisa Conway said.

“This is New York. We’re constantly on the cell phones. It’s part of life, it’s part of business,” Realtor Mary Ferraro said.

Even transportation experts say the bill is silly.

“iPods don’t kill pedestrians. Cars and trucks kills pedestrians. So instead of blaming the victim, our elected officials should be passing tougher laws for reckless driving,” said Paul Steeley White of Transportation Alternatives.

This Resolution Brought To You By The Letter N: Alphabet Industry Lobbyists Decry “Overbroad” Legislation

Community Board 13 in Queens has pre-empted a councilmember’s non-binding resolution to ban N words by submitting their own non-binding resolution to ban N words:

Taking a cue from City Councilman Leroy Comrie (D-St. Albans), Community Board 13 Tuesday unanimously approved a resolution barring the use of the “N” word as Black History Month approaches in February.

“We members of Community Board 13 have the opportunity to distinguish ourselves as proud residents of a truly diverse community,” said CB 13 member Paul Rubenfeld, who drafted the resolution.

“Hopefully, the results of this resolution would place us in the forefront of eliminating ethnic discrimination and maintaining our high quality of life.”

The board unanimously approved the measure in a voice vote. CB 13 Chairman Richard Hellenbrecht asked that the board’s district manager, Sally Martino-Fisher, prepare a letter about the resolution to Comrie and send it to Comrie’s office.

Comrie initiated a resolution in the Council that would put a moratorium on the “N” word.

Sudoku: Dangerously Addictive

I really don’t know which is weirder — Camilla’s tenacious sudoku addiction or Charles asking children what NBA stars eat:

Prince Charles came to Harlem to shoot hoops yesterday, netting baskets while his wife sat down with her favorite game — Sudoku.

The royal couple showed their physical and mental prowess while touring the Harlem Children’s Zone, a kids’ project designed to help inner-city youngsters reach their potential.

While watching teams in the Zone’s basketball league, the prince was persuaded to try his hand — and got his second shot through the rim.

“It was perfect,” said Christopher Valazquez, 13, who congratulated the prince on his shot. “I would pick him for my team.

“He said he’d never played before. He asked, ‘Is it on TV?’ like he didn’t know about it. He asked how tall are NBA players, and what do they eat?

“That surprised me. I told him everybody plays it here. Everybody.”

Just before watching her husband’s basketball skills, his wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, helped with a Sudoku puzzle while meeting kids preparing for a math competition.

“She told me she was addicted to it,” said Zone staff member Heidi Lopez, 24. “She said she’d wished she’d brought her glasses so she could play more.

“She was showing me her strategies and everything. She had to be dragged away.”

Gowanus Expy Vus

A new benchmark for overpriced undesirable apartments may have been reached:

Just $3,600-a-month will get a luxury Brooklyn apartment with jaw-dropping, scenic views — of the truck-filled, exhaust-choked Gowanus Expressway.

Developers Jack Basile and Nick Barone are building a brownstone-style 10-unit apartment building with ground-floor commercial space in Carroll Gardens — just a stone’s throw from the elevated expressway.

In fact, their five-story building at the corner of Court and Garnett streets is so close to the highway that future tenants heading into Manhattan won’t need to check traffic reports before battling the morning rush, they can just step onto their terrace or peek out a window.

While the fumes and noise from passing vehicles could be a deterrent, Basile and Barone expect a lot of interest.

“The apartments will do very well because they have a Court Street address, which is desirable, and it’s great for people who can’t afford Manhattan but want that Manhattan feel,” Basile said.

“That Manhattan feel” — read: bedrooms with value-added car exhaust smell.

The Urban Spotted Owl

Activists seeking to stop the Parks Department from renovating Washington Square Park take things to an absurd point, charging that construction in the urban park will damage the habitat of a red-tailed hawk:

The lawsuits keep on mounting against the embattled Washington Square Park renovation plan, threatening to further stall, if not outright kill, it. Two new lawsuits take aim at the $16 million project on environmental grounds. Among their charges are that the renovation will chainsaw down a full third of the trees in the park’s northwest quadrant, create pedestrian bottlenecks and threaten the habitat of a juvenile red-tailed hawk that recently took up residency and started hunting in the park.

Last Friday, two plaintiffs, Jonathan Greenberg, coordinator of the Open Washington Square Park Coalition; and Luther Harris, author of the definitive history book on Washington Square, filed the first of the two lawsuits. An Article 78 suit in State Supreme Court, it charges that an environmental impact assessment, or E.A.S., the Parks Department did for the project was faulty and that a more lengthy and involved environmental impact statement, or E.I.S., must be done.

In addition, the Emergency Coalition to Save Washington Square Park, or ECO, was expected to file suit in State Supreme Court on Wed., Jan. 24, also challenging the renovation on environmental grounds.

. . .

On Tuesday, attorney Joel Kupferman, representing ECO, said he couldn’t publicly discuss much yet about the second suit, which he hoped to file the next day. However, he said, it does contain a bird specialist’s affidavit on the significance of the new hawk’s presence.

“The bird story is a good part of it,” Kupferman said. “The long-range damage — what’s going to happen to the trees — what’s going to happen to the root system” are other significant aspects of the suit, he added.

Councilmember Alan Gerson, however, feels that not court, but the recently started Washington Square Park Task Force, set up under the so-called Gerson-Quinn Agreement with Parks on the renovation, is the best venue to solve disagreements.

“An E.I.S. is not a binding document,” Gerson said. “We’ve seen E.I.S.es that don’t result in any significant change on a project. To go to court — you don’t know how the court’s going to rule. I think enough is enough. We have a process in place. I think the best thing at this point is to work it out through the task force. Under the Gerson-Quinn Agreement the Parks Department is required to work with the task force in good faith.”

As for the trees, Gerson said he believed Parks’ revised bid documents now accurately reflect how many will be removed.

If the renovation doesn’t move forward soon, though, Gerson warned that more of the park will become “cordoned off, like the mounds.”

As for the hawk’s figuring prominently in Kupferman’s lawsuit, Gerson said, “This is the first I’m hearing of it — again, that issue could be dealt with through the task force.”

Location Scout: Washington Square Park.