Pay To Campaign!

The 11th Congressional District is just a big ball of laffs:

Days after standing on the steps of City Hall and endorsing City Council Member David Yassky in his bid for Congress, the mother and brother of a slain council member, James Davis, returned to those steps to withdraw that endorsement and to call on Mr. Yassky to drop out of the race.

Thelma Davis and her other son, Geoffrey, said Mr. Yassky left about 200 senior citizens stranded in the rain July 21, when he failed to get enough buses to transport them to City Hall for a memorial service in honor of her son, James, who was killed by a gunman in the council chambers July 23, 2003.

“This is not only a horrible act against the seniors, but against society,” Ms. Davis said yesterday, holding a picture of her late son. Ms. Davis said she wants Mr. Yassky to apologize publicly and pay $20,000 to four senior centers left without transportation that day.

By that time, campaign fliers touting the endorsement — showing Ms. Davis solemnly looking at a sepia-colored photograph of her slain son — had already been mailed to voters.

But it doesn’t end there:

In response to the withdrawn endorsement, an invoice Geoffrey Davis submitted to Mr. Yassky’s campaign — showing Mr. Davis hoped to be paid $50,000 for campaign work — was released to reporters.

Mr. Davis said he has been helping the campaign since last July, with the expectation of getting paid at some point.

“When he reneged with the bus company, and made my mother that upset, I sat with him,” Mr. Davis said, recalling a meeting he and an associate had with Mr. Yassky and his campaign manager at a famed Brooklyn eatery, Junior’s. The meeting took place the Monday after the memorial service, he said.

“From this point on, it is totally, strictly business,” Mr. Davis said.

Mr. Davis, who is unemployed, said he discussed the year’s worth of campaign work he did, and the field operation he planned to do in the crucial final weeks of the campaign.

“I said, ‘You got an hour to think about it,'” Mr. Davis told The New York Sun.

The following day, Mr. Davis submitted his invoice, which included $10,000 in administrative charges that Mr. Davis told the Sun he said was “my fee.” An additional $2,000 for a campaign office and petty cash were also listed.

And revealing all this is supposed to make you look better how?

Humberto Humberto, It’s Not The Rooster’s Fault It Has A Thing For Pigeons

Moral of the story — never trust anyone with a pet rooster:

A Manhattan man was arrested yesterday after he killed his pet rooster by biting its head off because he was angry at the bird, authorities said.

Humberto Rodriguez, 52, was charged with animal cruelty after agents from the ASPCA found his pet’s headless body on the fire escape of his apartment at 506 W. 213th St. in Inwood.

When the agents got there, they noticed a large crowd around the fire escape — pointing up to the headless bird, authorities said.

Rodriguez confessed to having champed down on the 6-pound rooster because it had attacked one of his pet baby pigeons.

He said he became enraged and sought to discipline the foul bird.

Responders found the body of the rooster on his fire escape, ASPCA spokesman Joe Pentangelo said.

The rooster’s head has not been located.

Authorities also discovered that the rooster had been a victim of previous domestic abuse:

An examination also found that the rooster, which Rodriguez owned for six months, suffered from two broken wings, Pentangelo said.

Honey, Did A Tomahawk Missile Just Spill Out Onto The Cross-Bronx?

Well now that’s odd:

Some would argue that there is nothing scarier than morning rush hour on the New England Thruway passing through the Bronx.

Throw a Tomahawk missile in the mix and you make it even scarier.

It happened to New Yorkers Friday when they found themselves nose to nose with a missile — that’s right, a missile — fell off a flat-bed truck on the thruway.

There was never any danger, however, as the missile wasn’t really a missile, just an inert, 18-foot long, 2,900 pound replica of the Tomahawk Land Attack Missile.

The real McCoy carries can hold a nuclear warhead and got rave reviews when it was first used — sans the warhead, of course — in Operation Desert Storm, in 1991.

The replica, it can now be told, is capable of slowing the morning rush hour to a crawl, as it did Friday.

The 4:47 a.m accident sent the NYPD Bob Squad racing to the scene, fearing the worst. But police quickly realized they were dealing with a replica.

“It just resembles a missile,” said Lt. John Gay, spokesman for the U.S. Navy. “It’s the same size,the same shape as a missile. We use it to train personnel how to load missiles onto submarines.”

By midday, the dupe was on its way to the police facility at Randalls Island. A Naval representative will arrange for transport to its home, a naval station in Norfolk, Va.

It had been at the Naval Undersea Warfare Center, a Research and testing facility in Newport, Rhode Island.

Its trip back south was scheduled to go through New York City, but as it neared the Hutchinson River Parkway entrance ramp the trailer carrying the missile stalled in the center lane and was rear-ended by a truck, police said.

The trailer then jackknifed and the case in which the missile was stored fell onto the roadway.

Staten Island Beep Calls For Singapore-Style Corporal Punishment

Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro is mad as hell and he’s going to swat someone’s ass because of it:

The borough president says he is appalled by graffiti found in two South Shore parks and believes the culprits should get more than a slap on the wrist — they should get a slap on the buttocks.

“Frankly, it makes me feel that the law-enforcement approach in Singapore may be correct — graffiti vandals should be punished with caning, that’s what they deserve,” Borough President James Molinaro said yesterday.

At Conference House Park, Tottenville, a stone bridge planned to be incorporated into a Bluebelt project was defaced with spray-painted tag names and vulgar etchings.

Less than five miles away, at Bloomingdale Park in Prince’s Bay, handicapped-accessible playground equipment, which permits usage by children in wheelchairs, was covered in spray paint.

The brand-new equipment, for which Molinaro’s office committed $300,000, is scheduled to be opened officially to the public tomorrow with a ribbon-cutting ceremony.

Signs at Bloomingdale Park also were torn down and vandalized.

The graffiti was discovered by Borough Hall staffers Tuesday morning, Molinaro said.

“I am absolutely disgusted by this situation,” Molinaro added. “While I condemn all graffiti vandalism, to have vandals show blatant disregard for new parks equipment and infrastructure is appalling, especially after spending millions of dollars to complete” the projects.

Happy Birthday, Bridge!

The Triborough Bridge turns 70 today and the Times takes the opportunity to reappraise Robert Moses:

It was not just another bridge. And the man who built it was not just another power broker. The Triborough opened 70 years ago today, and the anniversary is prompting a reappraisal of Robert Moses, who, although he never learned to drive, rolled out a concrete carpet to the suburbs that changed the face of New York.