Great Moments In Jurisprudence

Applying the Equal Protection clause to toll roads:

Accusing the MTA of “toll discrimination,” two commuters have filed a class-action suit to end discounts some residents receive on the Verrazano and two other bridges.

The suit says the toll breaks — given to Staten Island residents on the Verrazano, and to Rockaway/Broad Channel residents for the Marine Parkway and Cross Bay bridges — are illegal under state and federal law.

Riva Janes, from Monmouth County, N.J, and Bruce Schwartz, of Queens, claim the “discriminatory toll pricing violates the United States Constitution.”

In their suit, they accuse MTA Chairman Peter Kalikow and Bridges and Tunnels President Michael Ascher of “unlawful charging” millions of drivers and collecting money to which they are “not entitled.”

“Our clients feel everyone should be treated equally, which is what this case is about,” said Andrew Bell, one of their attorneys in the case.

Taking Up Skateboarding After 40 Wasn’t So Much A Problem As Conceiving Of It As “Gliding”

Because someone has to be to blame other than me:

The piles of corned beef may be gone and the matzo soup dried up, but that doesn’t mean the 2nd Avenue Deli can escape kvetching.

A 45-year-old skateboarder is going after the venerable East Village restaurant, which closed shop in January, and its ex-landlord in a lawsuit filed over her December 2004 spill on the sidewalk in front of the kosher deli.

Julie Ashcraft, a Manhattanite who only recently picked up the hobby, says she was slowly gliding when she hit a break in the pavement and took a nasty fall, shattering her right wrist.

“I fell super-fast,” said Ashcraft, who had to get a titanium plate in her wrist with 10 screws. “Once the pain hit, it was horrible . . . I was so afraid I wasn’t going to be able to write again.”

Ashcraft, who works defending tenants facing eviction in Housing Court, filed suit Feb. 24 in Manhattan. She accuses Clearwater Associates, the deli’s landlord, of negligence for not maintaining the sidewalk.

The suit also names the 2nd Avenue Deli, which closed down after a rent hike. The deli’s owner, Jack Lebewohl, has hinted he may reopen elsewhere.

Ashcraft’s lawyer, Michael Lamonsoff, said that in New York, property owners — not renters or the city — are responsible for maintaining the sidewalk. But the deli is named in the suit, he said, in case it caused the sidewalk damage.

And when you’re going after deep pockets full of corned beef, don’t forget to pull that big, dog-eared Sept. 11 card — a sure-fire way to get any jury on your side:

Ashcraft said she took up skateboarding as a distraction after the Sept. 11 attacks but, except for a brief spell during the transit strike, has given up her hobby.

Although she never learned any tricks, she said she used to love skateboarding around the city and to work.

“Now I’m terrified. I’ve even had nightmares about it,” she said. “And I used to dream about gliding to work.”

Just Think How Low The Monthly Maintenance Will Go If We Get Whole Foods As The Tenant!

Only in New York, Kids, only in New York:

By almost any measure, the Brooklyn House of Detention, 10 stories of razor wire and wire-mesh windows in Boerum Hill, is a repellent sight.

But, the city reasons, it need not be so. So, to attract people other than criminal suspects to the 760-bed jail, the Correction Department has decided to convert part of the complex into 24,000 square feet of retail shopping space.

“The site is going to be redeveloped,” Martin F. Horn, the correction commissioner, said in an interview this week. “One way or another, retail is going to be there.”

Under Mr. Horn’s jail-with-retail plan, three sides of the block that the jail now occupies, along Atlantic Avenue between Smith Street and Boerum Place, would be converted to one-story retail space beginning this summer. The jail entrance, now on Atlantic, would be moved to the fourth side of the block, along State Street.

. . .

Which retailers would be asked, or be willing, to open a shop on jail property remains to be seen, several city and local elected officials said. But Mr. Horn and several elected officials in Brooklyn, including Marty Markowitz, the borough president, and David Yassky, a city councilman from Brooklyn Heights, floated a few ideas this week.

An upscale food market, Mr. Horn suggested; a children’s clothing store, Mr. Yassky offered; law offices, Mr. Markowitz mentioned.

Mr. Markowitz, who is known to gush about how great Brooklyn is, said that even a boutique hotel on jail grounds would be nice — but only if the city razed the existing structure and rebuilt it from scratch.

“If it’s designed in such a way that the guests feel totally comfortable,” he said yesterday, “why not?”

Mr. Markowitz added that although he would prefer to see the jail closed permanently, if it is to be open it should also have retail and, preferably, residential space.

Sure, Blame Your Booty Issues On The Bedbugs . . .

A Chicago woman is suing a Catskills resort for $20 million* after being bitten by bedbugs:

Leslie Fox spent four days at the Nevele Grande Resort with her husband, and woke up on the last day covered with hideous red marks.

“I was horrified to see all of these bites all over my body. I had no idea what was happening,” the Chicago woman said.

She yanked the sheets off the bed, overturned the mattress and found an infestation of tiny bedbugs.

Fox, 54, scooped one of the little bloodsuckers up in a film canister and took it to Ellenville Regional Hospital, where doctors confirmed her suspicions.

“The inflammation, the itching — my skin felt as if it was on fire. I wanted to tear it off.”

Fox’s lawyer, Alan Schnurman, has filed a $20 million lawsuit against the hotel in Brooklyn federal court.

The suit seeks compensation for personal injury and “loss of consortium” plus punitive damages.

*That’s $0.02 billion!

The Best Defense Is A Good Offense

After West Village neighbors proposed to close the popular Christopher Street pier an hour earlier, the kids who frequent the site countered by calling for an even later curfew:

Community members proposed a stricter curfew for Pier 45 — better known as Christopher Street pier — in the West Village at last night’s Community Board 2 meeting, despite objections from LGBT youths who frequent the pier.

Members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth group FIERCE — which stands for Fabulous Independent Educated Radicals for Community Empowerment — about 60 of whom were in attendance at the meeting, countered board members by proposing a later 4 a.m. curfew in place of the current 1 a.m.

. . .

[Parks and Waterfront Committee chairman Arthur] Schwartz said he sympathized with the youths’ desire for a “place to call their own,” though their curfew proposal is unrealistic.

“We need a solution that isn’t 4 a.m.,” Schwartz said. “The mayor won’t allow it. The government won’t allow it.”

Some members of the board said a midnight closing is simply a matter of city regulation. “You can’t stay in a park all night long,” Schwartz said. “There are rules.”

. . .

Malcolm Brown, a Brooklyn resident and supporter of FIERCE, said the community board was discriminatory for focusing only on the noise created by LGBT youth from the pier and not on noise from those who frequent bars and clubs on Christopher Street.

“If there has to be a curfew for the pier,” Brown said, “there should be a curfew for the heterosexuals at the restaurants and the NYU kids at the bars, too.”