Remind Me Again Why We Need Borough Presidents?

Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz has three full-time drivers:

In an unusual arrangement, the ebullient beep has placed his three drivers on staggered, 16-hour shifts so someone will always be available to wheel him around town between 8 a.m. and midnight, seven days a week.

. . .

Taxpayers pick up the tab of $177,372 a year, not including overtime.

It’s all within the city’s lax rules, since the Conflicts of Interest Board has decided that elected officials with government vehicles can do just about anything they want with them.

One late-night stint last month took Markowitz and driver Robert Macko to the Blue Water Grill in Union Square during Restaurant Week.

The Problem With Lawmaking

The problem with lawmaking is that no one knows when to quit:

“We have to do away with the new and improved Four Loko,” [State Senator Jeff] Klein (D-Bronx) told The News Thursday. “Colorful cans, sweet flavors, and kids still have access to this stuff in bodegas, delis, and convenience stores.”

Revamped Four Loko hit New York stores six weeks ago, four months after law enforcement pressured the company to take out the caffeine. The drinks were blamed for several deaths of drinkers under 21 across the country and have been banned in several states.

Klein’s bill would require booze containing more than 6% alcohol, along with at least 1% sugar and a fruity, spicy, or chocolate/vanilla flavor, move to liquor store shelves. He will announce a more detailed plan during a press conference Sunday.

OK — more than six percent alcohol and a chocolate flavor . . . so where does this leave Brooklyn Brewery’s 10 percent ABV Black Chocolate Stout? And don’t a lot of people use sugar in the beer brewing process?

The Unconstitutional Constitutional

Manhattan’s Community Board 6 conveniently overlooks that whole “Freedom of Assembly” portion of the First Amendment:

Officials at Community Board 6 want to outlaw organized pub crawls, claiming the booze-filled jaunts lead to late-night noise and bad behavior on their streets.

“It creates havoc,” said Toni Carlina, the district manager of the community, which covers 14th St. to 59th St. east of Madison Ave.

“Nobody wants to ruin anybody’s good time but people have to be considerate of their neighbors — and so do these bar owners.”

The board aims to pass a resolution banning the liquor trips at a March 31 meeting. They hope the advisory ruling, which would have no legal standing, will prompt state or city politicians to draft a law.

Proving Yet Again That If You Lie Down With Bicyclists, You’ll Wake Up With Anemic Census Figures

See, you can’t be surprised — or shocked! — to learn that “the hottest borough in which to live, work and play grew only a small percentage in the past decade” when the image in popular culture is that Brooklyn is a place where childless 30- and 40-somethings while away Thursday afternoons playing kickball at McCarren Park:

The film, which won the award for Best New York Narrative at the Tribeca Film Festival 2010, portrays New York City’s largest borough as a land where aimless thirtysomethings move to avoid adulthood.

“The idea was to make a narrative film that felt like a documentary about the demise of a Brooklyn couple,” says the 37-year-old [director Dana Adam] Shapiro, who was nominated for an Academy Award for the documentary “Murderball.” “The male character rides his bike everywhere — which is a very Brooklyn thing to do — and finds being stationary scary. He doesn’t want to settle down, and I think a lot of people will relate to that.”

But It Just Can’t Be, Not In A Decade That Produced Such An Infectiously Inspiring Jay-Z/Alicia Keys Song!

Four years ago the mayor warned that New York City would have to deal with one million more people by 2030. That shocking number was meant to justify large-scale infrastructure projects, and in fact precipitated an entire blueprint suitable for mayoral-sized (or presidential-sized) aspirations.

One million people is a lot of people — New York only grew by one million people between the 1930s and the present — so it was kind of baffling why anyone would believe the mayor.

So anyway, the 2010 Census Bureau figures are out, and it turns out that population growth hasn’t exactly kept up with that torrid pace:

The Census Bureau claims 8,175,133 people were living in New York when it counted heads last spring.

That’s the highest number ever, but still just a meager 2.1% increase from 10 years before.

So if New York only gained 166,855 residents between 2000 and 2010, that’s 16,685.5 a year, well below the 50-some-odd thousand per year needed to meet the mayor’s fear-mongering predictions. The Daily News piece seems to support the angle that the census is wrong — right, shoot the messenger.

Critics will argue that urban populations are chronically undercounted. Fine — but this is a census in which even Philadelphia gained residents, reversing a decades-long decline.

In New York City’s case, I don’t think it’s the Census Bureau’s fault more than it is a matter of opportunistic politicians ginning up crises to gain support for projects intended to help themselves self-aggrandize their way into a place in history. Maybe we should just build a bridge already and attach someone’s name to it — looks better on maps anyway.

So why is this such a big deal? For one, look at the Willets Point (.pdf), the city initiative that is using eminent domain to strip business owners of their livelihoods. One of the stated purposes of the plan is to fulfill the goals of PlaNYC:

The proposed Plan would be consistent with and vital to the advancement of several of the goals of PlaNYC, which aims to create a more sustainable New York by the year 2030.

Which is to say, if the “one million new people” is a mirage, and if goals like the redevelopment of Willets Point are key components of PlaNYC, then why should the City proceed with the eminent domain abuse going on there?

That’s when it goes beyond just one man’s “vision” for the future.