If It Weren’t For Comstat You Wouldn’t Think Crime Was Down, And If You Don’t Think Crime Is Down Then You Don’t Know Any Better Anyway — Until You Get Mugged, But Then You’ll Probably Just Assume It Was An Aberration, In Which Case, Cool, Keep Cooking Those Books, Landsman

It’s like the Western District on The Wire but for reals (there’s audio, too!):

On December 8, 2008, he excoriates officers who failed to write enough tickets for double-parking, running red lights, and disorderly conduct, and who failed to stop-and-frisk enough people.

“I see eight fucking summonses for a 20-day period or a month,” he says. “If you mess up, how the hell do you want me to do the right thing by you? You come in, five parkers, three A’s, no C’s, and the only 250 you do is when I force you to do overtime? I mean it’s a two-way street out here.”

Later, he adds, “In the end, I hate to say it — you need me more than I need you because I’m what separates the wolves from coming in here and chewing on your bones.”

. . .

In another incident, an elderly man walked in off the street to report that someone had broken the lock on the cash box in his apartment and had stolen $22,000. When he reported the incident at another precinct, he was told that it was a “civil matter” and to call 3-1-1, the city’s complaint hotline.

What’s 700 Square Feet When You Can Basically Do Whatever You Want?

Earlier, the Post found an Atlantic Yard refugee who had been holding out without anyone knowing it. Now the attorney who led the charge against the Atlantic Yards project identified a condemned strip of land that hasn’t actually been condemned yet:

A piece of property about the size of a standard one-bedroom apartment in the footprint of the Atlantic Yards site was never officially condemned, says attorney Matthew Brinckheroff in an action filed in Kings County Supreme Court on behalf of the property’s owner.

Peter Williams Enterprises Inc., a company owned by Peter Williams, filed the lawsuit seeking a declaration of the ownership of a tax lot at 24 Sixth Ave., which includes a roughly 700-square-foot thin strip of land behind a former condominium, as well an above-grade parcel on top of that same building.

Location Scout: Atlantic Yards.

Goldman Sachs Nearly Caused 5/1

It turns out that the would-be car bomber’s home was in foreclosure:

Court records show that the suspect in the failed Times Square bombing defaulted on a $200,000 mortgage on his Connecticut home and that the property is in foreclosure.

Records obtained by The Associated Press show that Chase Home Finance LLC sued Shahzad in September to foreclose on the home in Shelton.

The foreclosure records show Shahzad took out the mortgage on the property in 2004, and he co-owned the home with a woman named Huma Mian. The foreclosure case is pending in Milford Superior Court.

A message was left Tuesday with an attorney for Chase’s law firm. The records show Shahzad and Mian didn’t have lawyers for the case.

Write Press Release First, Ask Questions Later

PETA cares less about biology than press coverage, as the Daily News discovers:

PETA accused Sik Gaek and East Seafood Restaurant, also in Flushing, of serving the octopus while it was still alive, and sent letters to the Queens district attorney’s office, demanding it seek animal cruelty charges against the businesses. The group also dispatched protesters to picket outside the restaurants recently, while holding signs like “Octopus Dismembered Alive.”

A PETA spokeswoman said the group is investigating the issue throughout the city and would not comment further on the dish.

But scientists say there’s a reason for the octopus acting like a creepy crawly — even when it’s dead.

“There is a lot of nerve activity that occurs in an octopus’ tentacles. It doesn’t matter if it’s dead or alive,” said Tim Carpenter, curator of fish and invertebrates at the Seattle Aquarium in Seattle, Wash.

The manager of Sik Gaek said the octopus, which live in a medium-sized fish tank inside the restaurant, is killed instantly by having its head split open and its brain removed. The octopus is then immediately chopped up and served to a customer.

All According To Plan

This certainly inspires confidence that every tenant and property owner was treated with the utmost of sensitivity and the kind of careful attention that befits using eminent domain to chase people out of their homes and deny business owners their livelihoods:

Developers of the $4.9 billion Atlantic Yards project were thrown for a loop after a family emerged from a worn-down Brooklyn building last week — and demanded more money to get out of the way of bulldozers ready to raze the block, several sources close to the project said.

The holdouts, who lease apartments at 481 Dean St. in Prospect Heights, are asking for at least $170,000 more to move out of the footprint of the Nets’ new basketball arena.

. . .

Neither the developers nor officials from the Empire State Development Corp. were aware anyone was still living in the Dean Street home, according to two people close to the deal.

“These people were elusive — we didn’t even know about them until last week,” a source said.

Location Scout: Atlantic Yards.