Two Grown-Ass Adults With Two-Hundred Fifty-Seven And-A-Half Square Feet Each

And then you’re like, Why?:

Even fifth-floor walk-ups in the Village are commanding top dollar, she said, pointing to a 515-square-foot two-bedroom that recently rented for $3,195 a month. “It was an all-time high for that building and that floor,” she said. “But for two people splitting it, it’s about $1,600 a month, and relatively speaking for Manhattan, that’s affordable for living in a great neighborhood.”

Records Broken!

Snopes needs to qualify its Super Bowl legends page because there’s new data:

In the moments after New England’s dreams of Super Bowl glory went down the drain with Tom Brady’s failed last-second Hail Mary toss, toilet use spiked a staggering 13 percent in the city, according to Department of Environmental Protection.

It was sweet relief for millions of fans — in more ways than one.

The toilet-bowl shuffle — which came after tense hours of holding it in — was so strong that the 30-foot-deep water level in the Hillview Reservoir in Yonkers actually decreased by 2 inches after the contest.

“This was certainly a significant jump — especially for around 10 p.m. on Sunday night. It’s only going to happen on the Super Bowl,” said a stunned Jim Roberts, deputy commissioner for the city’s DEP.

Excellent News! Here’s My Application For A Bar Geared Toward New Parents, With A Focus On Near Beer . . .

CB3’s novel new approach in the East Village:

New bars and restaurants hoping to serve booze in the most nightlife-saturated parts of the East Village now have almost no chance of winning the local community board’s support for their liquor license applications — but that could soon change.

Community Board 3 is considering easing its restrictions on new liquor licenses in areas that are already packed with bars, as long as the newcomers close early and serve only beer and wine — not hard alcohol.

Lesson: Always Question Names That Are Verb Phrases

I love the idea that someone accused of stalking goes by the name of “Meanwell”.

And Then The Third Term Turned Magical

All it took was a bold prediction:

Officials shelled out [$10,400} to buy Keys to the City for the [New York Giants] days before Big Blue even squared off against the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC championship game.

Ashburns Engravers in lower Manhattan got the order to make 104 keys at $100 each on Jan. 18, store owner Dan DePrima, 78, said.

“Are you sure you want to order this? How do you know they’re going to win?” DePrima said he asked the city employee who requested the keys.

“They placed the order in the hopes the Giants would win.”